Chapter 251

Once again, the bishop opened her eyes in the same place.

"..."

"You have come."

It was a dream in which a red evil god hovered above the lake where the Moon should have been.

"I welcome your visit."

"I do not know why you keep summoning someone so lowly."

"Because you saw me."

"A grave sin, then..."

She had looked upon something she should never have seen.

"I should never have let you catch my eye."

For a moment, his splendor had bewitched her. Those bloodlike wings must have been a vivid sight to eyes accustomed to white. Had she found the blood flowing gracefully in gold from his broken head beautiful?

'If I had been a more perfect being, could this have been avoided?'

Since first encountering the evil god, the bishop had met him many times. She met him in her sleep, and whenever she went to see the Moon, he was always there. As bishop, she could hardly ignore the order's rules. It was a predicament indeed.

She asked the question she had been asking all this time once more. As pointlessly as tossing a mere pebble into a vast lake.

"What do you want from me?"

"I wish to see you rage."

"... That will not be easy."

Even when the saintess she had raised with such care approached the final end of mystery, all she had done was despair. She had spent half her life as bishop of the Moon Cult. She knew how to break and crumble, but no one had ever taught her how to raise her voice.

"You must be in need of entertainment?"

How fitting for an evil god.

"Do you wish to see me ruined? Do you want the bishop of the Moon Cult to fall from grace? Would it please you if I forgot my place and made a spectacle of myself? Is that it?"

"That would not satisfy me."

"Is my soul already in your hands?"

"It is your Moon I hold in my hands."

"..."

Her eyes caught the pure white thing held in his second pair of hands.

"... What does our teacher call me?"

"It says nothing."

"I already knew I was that insignificant."

"You are not disappointed."

"Our teacher does not understand humans well..."

"Is that so?"

Pale toes touched the surface of the lake.

"Why are you so frightened? Am I so terrifying?"

"I fear you will let me ruin everything."

"Ruin. Yes, ruin. I believe we could begin our conversation there."

"You are urging me to converse with an evil god."

"You are already conversing with me. You see me, hear me, and wonder about me. Now, look at me. Lift your head. Do not disappoint me."

"As a Priest... I disqualified myself long ago."

"Then what is sin? Let us talk. Do you not wish to speak with me? I have waited so long for you. How heartless you are..."

His voice grew more and more natural. A plaintive note entered that imposing voice, which had held only authority and interest. His formerly silent ornaments gave a clink.

"We could even be friends."

The mystery with a broken head, golden blood, and three pairs of arms imitated a person. He used gestures and expressed emotion with his half a face. A hollow sigh escaped her.

For all that, he was still an evil god.

"... How long must I endure your mockery? How ridiculous I must have seemed, ruining things because I could not cast aside a single attachment. No, I never even had the ability to ruin anything in the first place. How could this wretch... this lowly creature... possibly amuse you?"

Her voice flowed on softly.

"I am a lowly human incapable of even that. I have accomplished nothing. Nothing... Did you think I would make a decent toy, when all I ever did was remain in one place?"

"I thought you were growing angry, but it seems not."

A hand wearing a gold bracelet lifted the bishop's chin.

"Have you given up? Resigned yourself? Are you hesitating?"

"I have already done all of those things."

"Little beast, grow angry. Let it burst forth. Rage."

His voice was benevolent, as though he were tending a newborn beast.

"Only anger makes beasts and humans alike."

The bishop interpreted his meaning.

"... Do you mean those incapable of anger are worth less than beasts? Humans are animals of intellect, O god. How can you put beasts that cannot restrain their anger on the same level as humans?"

"Did being born human seem such a great claim to authority? It is not. To my eyes, all are the same. Humans, yes... Only with conviction and malice does one qualify as human."

"Are my convictions not worthy of making me human...?"

"Who called them convictions? Who dared?"

The wicked soul whispered.

"No one must call them convictions." "You were pushed into that seat." "Did it look like your choice?" "You must have thought there were no other choices left." "Little beast who sees only the ground." "Little beast who thinks only the sky is sky..."

He whispered again.

"How pitiful."

He released her chin, but the bishop continued to look at the god.

"... Ha, haha..."

Laughter escaped her.

"... I know your wisdom..."

"Did you dream?" "A sweet dream?" "You must have liked it."

"Yes, it was so very sweet. I had a sweet dream. How I, how I might... become a star beside the Moon... I feel I could find out if I dreamed just a few more times..."

"Yet you do not readily fall asleep."

"I felt empty."

She still did not know what had left her feeling so empty.

"I have been researching ever since the saintess took her place. That child is so strong and beautiful, but... her family abandoned her, and she is so lonely... She hates being cold, hungry, and alone. I brought her here from an alley in the slums, in winter..."

She had kept the child beside her, pondering and researching all the while. Even if it meant creating another tradition others would call an evil practice, she had wanted to do it. She had told herself it was a good thing, if anything. A noble act that would bring another mystery into being.

"Why do I feel so hollow? As though there is a gaping hole inside me, and yet as though everything is blocked up tight. I feel as if I am doing everything wrong, but I do not know what I have done wrong, whether my thinking is right, or what I ought to fix."

"Why is that?"

"... I do not know. I have no answer. Is it because something I agonized over for so long was solved in an instant? Because I received help from an evil god rather than our teacher? Have I grown afraid that I will not be as much help as I thought?"

It felt as though she had sunk into a swamp.

"I even felt wronged."

"And why was that?"

"..."

"Because you love."

Pitiful creature.

"Because loving is all you know."

You do not know how.

"How can you not know you are wrong? Why did you commit so many sins, not knowing you were wrong, not merely different? You have such a sweet, savory scent. Don't you think being chewed up and eaten just as you are would give me pleasure? Why is innocent, foolish sin so heartbreaking and lovely...?"

"... Since I have already done every foolish-looking thing, I will ask a foolish question. Do you eat humans?"

"If I wish to."

The evil god whispered.

"Did what you saw look like justice? Did tragic sacrifice look like noble sacrifice? You have two perfectly sound eyes. Why did you see it that way? You thought the floor was the floor and the ceiling was the ceiling. You never even thought of going over the walls."

"I did my best... As bishop, as a Priest of the Moon Cult, I did... what I ought to..."

"An empty puppet filled to the brim with love cannot do a single thing right." "Had you not loved, you might at least have held convictions." "Had you known how to love, you might have become human." "But you did not." "In the end, you could not even harbor malice."

"If there is no way for me to escape you, at least tell me what I must do. Shall I play along with your games? Shall I become a puppet and put on a play? Would it please you if I became a beast and prostrated myself?"

"Become human."

"..."

She did not know whether that was possible now.

"... I have grown old and ugly. I doubt I can become the sort of human you want."

"You know neither how to love, nor how to rage, nor how to think. You are no different from a newborn beast. Yet you can become human. Now, let it burst forth."

"Let what burst forth?"

"Let it burst."

The evil god smiled.

"What you love is in my arms."

"... Will you take that child away?"

"Fate is decided."

"Please do not. That child... that child loves Earth. She cherishes her family. How can you take her away without letting her achieve the one thing she has wanted all her life?"

"Whether you become human or remain a beast will have no effect on that."

"Give her back...!"

It was sudden even to her.

Had something been forced into her mind? Had she been brainwashed? Something must have happened to her head. Her hands trembled, and her breath came hard.

"She is the Moon's child! Lowly as I am, I have watched over her. You do not even know how she smiles, so why would you take that precious soul away? She has sacrificed her entire life...!!"

"That's it."

"..."

"Well done."

"... Ah."

"That is the emotion called 'anger.'"

Only then, her mind going numb, did she realize.

"... Did you instill anger in me and tell me a lie?"

"Am I not an evil god?"

"... What, what in the world do you... want from me...? I truly do not understand..."

"What a ridiculous, amusing sight you make. Don't you agree?"

Surely a being as great as a Divinity would not do all this simply to amuse himself by toying with her alone. There was no need to put in so much effort. Why even reveal that ominous, mysterious form?

"Your Moon tells me it is terribly bored."

"... Our teacher would never say such a thing."

"Now, look. Isn't that what it is saying?"

He raised the Moon from his second pair of hands to his face and imitated it, as though playing with a doll.

"I am so very bored, my disciple. Come, enjoy yourself with me."

Such childlike capriciousness. A Divinity capable of lying. Dread washed over her as he imitated the Moon in an innocent voice. Their teacher was nothing more than a toy to that red evil god.

He lowered the Moon a little, revealing the curving lips on his half a face.

"Why do you hesitate? Why blame yourself so? Listen, my friend. The order you devoted yourself to building was rotten from the start. Giving a bedroom to an immature evil god now will change nothing."

"... Are you saying our order would have rotted completely someday?"

"The world is advancing swiftly. It is growing better. Without even knowing what they themselves want, humans are doing what little they can to mend this precarious dimension. When life grows more prosperous in so many ways, will the Moon Cult truly... be able to refrain from forcing sacrifice?"

He recited a frightening future.

"You will stand at the guillotine not by choice, but by force."

And then you will be offered up.

"Noble self-sacrifice will become the sacrifice of living offerings." "Why? Because it is all you know how to do!" "Do you truly think your descendants will be able to disregard a precious tradition built upon noble sacrifices?" "Who will stop you then?" "You have locked your doors and hidden alone in the shadows."

"..."

"Listen, my young friend."

He spoke with benevolence.

"Just how long did you believe you could call it noble?"

The bishop could not answer.

"..."

It would be a lie to say she had never considered it. And yet.

And yet.

"... Then why... why in the world...?"

She could not breathe.

"Why did my family have to leave like that? My family, who died without the w-world... ever knowing their names... Those precious people who protected me and gave me strength. Why did they have to go to the Moon's cold, lonely side...!"

Having learned, this time she grew angry on her own.

"Ah, I made it happen. I did it. I could have stopped them, could have protected them! I could have held on to them and begged them not to do it. If I had, perhaps they would not have become the Moon! But I did not. Because I was stupid. Because all I ever did was wrong. Because I am unworthy, incapable, imperfect... nothing but flaws, nothing but stubbornness and incompetence. Trash...!!"

She was raging at herself.

"Were their deaths simply pointless? Surely that cannot be true? They must truly have become part of our teacher. But I am afraid. They will be remembered as monstrous villains who forced their descendants to sacrifice themselves. My incompetence has ruined so much. If only I had been cleverer. If only I had been more perfect!!"

The anguish was unbearable.

"Why in the world... Ah. I should have died instead of them... I... This worthless thing should have died. They should have lived, and I should have become the Moon. How wonderful it would have been if I could have finished my research even a little sooner. Then... I could have, at the very... at least..."

"Little friend."

The evil god asked, amusement in his voice.

"What do you want to do?"

"... I want to undo it..."

"Undo what?"

"Everything I missed, every mistake I made, everything I ruined."

"Shall I help you?"

"Take this lowly hand. I will offer you everything I have."

"Your family, too?"

"If I was wrong, not merely different, then the saintess is the only one in the Moon Cult who is not in the wrong. We sinned and called it noble. So much has gone astray. This is a cask filled with rotten wine. Please, smash it."

"That pleases me."

He promised an end.

"With you, the Moon's evil traditions shall end."

Is that what you want?

* * *

"..."

Aram scrunched up her face, clutching her pillow tightly.

"...?"

Where was she?

She had arrived at an amusement park.

(To be continued)