Chapter 36 - Uninvited Guests

A few days later, at Santa's Rest Stop.

Santa Claude was servicing a new shipment of cyberware, bobbing his head to the latest music playing over the speakers.

Then, all of a sudden—

BZZZT.

The music cut out with a brief burst of static.

And that wasn't all. The lights illuminating the rest stop, the TV, the sign, and even every machine in the procedure room behind the counter had lost power.

For a moment, silence fell, as though the world had stopped.

Santa's shout broke through it.

"Argh! That little brat's at it again!"

He sprang to his feet, all but ran upstairs, and flung open the door to the storeroom Akina was using as temporary lodgings.

"I told you not to touch the distribution panel! You've tripped the breaker, you brat! What did you hook up this time?!"

A girl emerged from the dark room. It was Akina, holding a power cable with a blackened end. She scratched her head and gave a sheepish little laugh.

"Sorry. I was testing something, and I guess it overloaded. Aw, what a waste. I almost had it."

Santa slapped his forehead with an audible smack.

"Oh, what sin did I commit to deserve a trial like this in my old age?"

"You committed a sin, Grandpa?"

Ash, who stood beside her, took hold of her shoulder.

"You must not say such things. Least of all you, Miss Akina."

"Why not?"

"Because you are the very trial old Master Santa speaks of."

"Aha!"

"Don't you 'aha' me! Fix this right—"

Just then, loud music reached their ears. It was the very song Santa had been listening to moments earlier.

"... You've fixed it already?"

Akina shook her head.

"Huh? That wasn't me."

"Then where's that sound coming from?"

The sound drew steadily closer, accompanied by the roar of engines. Even for the normally noisy Gateway District, it was conspicuously loud.

"It seems we have visitors."

At Ash's words, Santa and Akina craned their heads out the window. Sure enough, a group was just pulling into the parking lot out front: one bright red motorcycle and two exploration armored vehicles.

A slender woman dismounted from the motorcycle and removed her helmet. At the sight of her, Akina shouted,

"Ifrit!"

Ifrit beamed and waved back.

"Hey, kiddo! How've you been?"

Jack O' Lantern and Dullahan, driving the armored vehicles, poked their heads out and waved too.

"Ash! Akina! We're here!"

[Hey hey, why are all the lights off?]

The rest stop, silent since the breaker had tripped, was bustling once more.

"... They're your guests, right?"

"Indeed."

"Halloween idols, huh. A whole truckload of noisy brats. Literally."

Santa strode off, saying that since they were their guests, they could entertain them. Akina left as well.

"Mister, could you show them around for a minute?"

With that brief request, she ran straight for the distribution panel. And so the task of welcoming their guests fell entirely to Ash.

A short while later.

"Farther in! Keep coming!"

Ash shouted, waving one arm. Following his directions, a large armored vehicle slowly entered the rest stop's backyard.

The reason he had suddenly become a parking attendant was the vehicle Dullahan had brought.

The Revenant.

It was the reward Ifrit had offered for the expedition, and would now serve as transportation for Ash and Akina. They couldn't leave it in the customer parking lot, so it had to be parked out back.

That was where the trouble began. Scrap metal and rubbish lay scattered haphazardly across the backyard, leaving far too little room for the large vehicle. Ash had no choice but to step in.

"Straight ahead!"

At Ash's direction, the Revenant finally settled into one side of the yard. Shutting off the engine, Dullahan shook his head, making the words on his visor a little blurry.

[Gonna have to do something about that entrance if you want to actually use this thing.]

Ash nodded in agreement.

"We shall have to clear away the scrap, at least."

"Good idea. That alone would make the entrance half again as wide."

Ifrit had come up beside him. She winked.

"How've you been, Ash?"

"Quite well."

"... That's it?"

"What do you mean?"

"Usually, when someone asks you something, you ask them back, don't you?"

Ash gave a low chuckle.

"And have you been well, my lady?"

"Haha! I've been waiting for you to ask!"

Her signature heart-shaped eyes lit up as she took out her PDA. After a couple of taps, she held it out to Ash.

"Ta-da! Ifrit of the Elementary Girls has made Today's Best!"

The PDA displayed the idol rankings. Among the names was Ifrit's, in forty-third place.

"And it's not just me! Look!"

She scrolled down, revealing Jack O' Lantern and Dullahan in eighty-ninth and ninety-third place, respectively.

"Haha! How did we get this big in one shot? This is incredible!"

Frankly, Ash considered rankings little more than a meaningless pecking order, but everyone valued different things above all else. So his brief reply was sincere.

"Congratulations."

"Aw, it's all thanks to you, Ash!" Jack O' Lantern said.

His usual pumpkin helmet hid his face, but the way he kept bouncing about suggested he was delighted.

"This is our first time making Today's Best since we started working as ROA. Wow. We actually did it!"

[Pretty wild, lol.]

How much of an impression could transport and rescue work possibly make? ROA had never appeared in the rankings before. But that was now a thing of the past.

They had made the list, even if only near the bottom!

"So," Ash said amid the merriment, "what brings you here today? I doubt you came merely to boast."

"Hehe. What do you think?"

"Hmm. Since you brought the Revenant, have you come to conclude our transaction?"

Ifrit grinned.

"Our transaction? Of course we'll do that. But that's not the main event."

"The main event? There is something else?"

"Of course there is! What comes after an expedition?"

"... Settling accounts?"

Laughing at his answer, Ifrit banged twice on the Revenant. Its rear hatch split open to either side, revealing an interior packed with food of every kind.

Premium synthetic meat, organic vegetables, and even liquor that looked expensive at a glance. All of it was top-quality fare bearing the Foundation Systems logo.

Ifrit spread her arms wide.

"Settling accounts? No, no! A party, obviously! To celebrate reclaiming the Nexus Port and Team Elementary Girls making the rankings!"

"Yeeeeah!"

[Make some noise!]

Right on cue, the entire rest stop lit up. Akina had apparently restored the power.

"Hey! What's going on? Don't leave me out!"

The back door flew open, and Akina came scurrying across the yard.

"All right! Let's have some fun! Today, we drink ourselves to death! What are you all waiting for? Liven things up!"

At Ifrit's urging, Dullahan put on some music. A pounding beat reverberated through the backyard.

* * *

The party began.

Everyone worked themselves up to match the blaring music. But it didn't last long. Before long, everyone gathered there had sunk into gloom.

It wasn't because Santa had spotted the expensive liquor and quietly invited himself, nor because a neighbor had complained about the noise and told them to turn it down, nor because Ash was lecturing Akina that she was too young to drink.

It was because of one trivial yet fatal problem: not a single person there knew how to cook.

"Uh, what's wrong with this? Aren't you just supposed to put it on the grill?"

Ifrit stared at the premium synthetic meat, now reduced to charcoal, and muttered.

[Hmm. Think you're doing it wrong.]

Dullahan confidently took up the challenge with another piece of synthetic meat.

[Meat has two sides, right? Gotta sear both.]

He activated the welding torch attached to his hand and began searing the meat.

Now there were two lumps of charcoal.

"Do we have to do this cooking thing? It tastes good as it is."

Meanwhile, Akina was chewing away at a piece of raw meat. Ash took it from her and let out a low sigh.

"... What in the world are you all doing?"

Ifrit tilted her head.

"Cooking."

"How could this possibly be called cooking?"

"... It's not? I'm sure it went something like this..."

Another sigh escaped Ash's voice module.

Then a small realization flashed through his main core like lightning.

'... Come to think of it.'

He hadn't seen a decent meal since coming to this world. Not once had he seen actual food, despite having spent months here rather than a mere day or two.

Akina and Santa were proof enough. They always made do with convenient nutrient capsules, energy sticks, or some unidentifiable paste.

That was it. In this world, the very concept of cooking barely existed.

In fact, every organic ingredient Ifrit had brought was extremely expensive, far beyond what most people could afford. They were something like luxuries enjoyed by the upper class. Taking raw ingredients and spending time preparing a meal oneself—that act alone was a symbol of wealth in Sanctum.

Unaware of this, Ifrit had apparently splurged on the finest ingredients simply to make the occasion feel special. The results spoke for themselves.

'I've never even considered such a thing.'

A society where cooking wasn't commonplace. To Ash, that disparity was more than unfamiliar. There was something frightening about it.

That was Sanctum.

An endlessly warped world that had developed solely for survival. A world where people could replace their entire bodies with steel and become cyborgs, yet couldn't grill a simple piece of meat.

Had Ash possessed a human body, goosebumps would have risen all over it.

For a while, he looked around without a word.

'... Then they cannot know.'

The savory richness of properly cooked meat. The warmth of freshly steamed rice. A beautifully presented table laden with generous portions of both. Those warm hours of conversation, sharing drinks with good company and reaching for delicious morsels between sips.

An unidentifiable emotion welled up within his steel chest. Faint though it was, it was enough to move him.

He gently nudged Ifrit away from the grill.

"Step aside."

"H-huh?"

"I shall do it."

Taking the tongs from her, Ash addressed Santa.

"Old Master Santa. Do you have anything like a concave metal plate here? Preferably something that can withstand intense heat."

"... Uh, I might, if I look around...?"

"It must be clean. I intend to cook with it."

"Uh... I'll have a look."

While Santa went into the rest stop, Ash inspected the ingredients.

'They look different, but their scents and colors resemble those I know. These should suffice for a simple vegetable dish.'

Next, his gaze turned to the synthetic meat responsible for all this commotion. With its flesh and fat printed at precise intervals, the slab looked somewhat unnatural, but Ash didn't mind.

'Hmm. Too fatty for beef, and the texture is tender. Closer to pork, perhaps? In that case...'

His teal optical sensors gleamed.

'Twice-cooked pork would be good. I can make skewers with what remains.'

Having settled on a rough plan, Ash held a hand out to Akina.

"Miss Akina. You carry a knife for self-defense, do you not? May I borrow it for a moment?"

As though entranced, she immediately drew her tactical knife and handed it to him.

With the knife in hand, Ash began cutting the ingredients in a steady rhythm.

TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP.

Under his precise knife work, the vegetables bearing the Foundation Systems logo fell into uniform pieces.

As everyone watched, spellbound, Santa returned.

"Will this do? It's chest armor from heavy-duty equipment..."

"Huh? You're going to cook with that?"

While Akina grimaced, Ash silently accepted the chest armor. He carefully inspected the inside for rust or greasy grime.

"Not bad. This will do nicely."

Seemingly satisfied, he set it on the grill, then crouched to adjust the heat with precision. In an instant, the heat soared, and red flames engulfed the chest armor.

SIZZLE!

Into the hollow of the heated armor went oil and spices, followed by the prepared vegetables and meat.

Soon, an intoxicating aroma unlike anything the others had ever smelled spread throughout the backyard. Pungent yet fragrant, it stirred a primal hunger.

From that moment on, not a word was heard in the backyard.

Santa. Ifrit. Jack and Dullahan. Even Akina.

Without realizing it, the five humans moved closer, one step at a time, gathering around the cooking humanoid.