Chapter 1 - Damn Reincarnation

Prologue

I thought I was a genius.

Looking back now, it’s so fucking embarrassing I could lose my mind. But I really did think I was a genius.

I did have enough talent to fool myself. Ever since I was young, I’d had little trouble learning new things, and I improved faster than other people.

But it was only easy at the beginning. Even if I improved faster than everyone else at first, somewhere along the way, my progress would slow just like theirs.

I didn’t think much of it.

These things happen.

I’m getting better, little by little.

I can do this.

I’m a genius, after all.

Eventually, I realized a truth I’d never wanted to know.

I’m not a genius.

What shattered that childish, ridiculous delusion was meeting a real genius—someone I couldn’t even begin to compare myself to.

I was a frog in a well, convinced I was a genius. While I was drunk on my own superiority inside my tiny well, the real genius was already soaring through the vast sky.

I hate geniuses.

Listening to them run their mouths as though everyone else should naturally be able to do what they can makes me want to kill them. Whether they genuinely believe it or they’re just showing off to belittle someone beneath them.

Either way, hearing it makes me feel like shit.

["Are you jealous?"]

Jealous, you fucker? You were being a fucking asshole. So I acted like an asshole right back. What the hell does jealousy have to do with it?

["I didn’t realize you’d take it that way. I just... feel bad for you."]

Feel bad for me? Why?

["If you tried a little harder..."]

What the hell do you know about how hard I try?

["You could do so much better."]

Hey, I’m already doing plenty well. Your standards are just fucking high. How could everyone possibly do what you do? Just because you’re a genius doesn’t mean everyone else can do the same things.

Got it?

I can’t do what you do.

* * *

“Fuck off.”

I forced out a voice that wouldn’t come. There was a hole in my chest. It seemed they were pouring that precious elixir into it and using magic, but it was no use.

“Please.”

Look at her crying. I’d never even imagined that girl could make a face like that. She’d always picked fights over every little thing and worn that irritating expression, but I guess even all that bickering had made her grow attached to me.

“That’s... that’s why I told you. I told you to just go back. Why did you have to be stubborn and follow us...”

“Senya. Put that away for now.”

My voice wouldn’t come out the way I wanted. Blood was welling up in my throat.

“The elixir. Why waste something so precious here when we only have a few left? Stop wasting your time.”

“But...!”

“Enough. I know my own body better than anyone. I’m not going to make it. I’m going to die soon.”

I’m going to die.

I’d made my peace with that before the hole was torn through my chest. My body had long since been wrecked, leaving me a cripple. Go back. Wait for us. Ignoring their concern and reproaches, I’d followed them all the way here.

“... I could have dodged it.”

That flat voice. Son of a bitch. Being an insufferable prick right to the end.

“You didn’t have to do this.”

“I told you to fuck off.”

It’s hard enough to force out a word. Why the fuck do you keep talking to me?

“You must have known, too.”

He looked as though he couldn’t understand. Fair enough. What looked like a life-or-death crisis to everyone else probably wasn’t much of anything to you.

Did you think I didn’t know that? I knew perfectly well. We’d been traveling together for a long time, through all sorts of things. I know what an absurd monster you are far better than all those people who go around calling you one.

“... You didn’t have to die like this.”

Then how should I have died? You know it, too. Just making it this far was a miracle for me. Without you, I never could have come this far.

“... This is an honorable enough death.”

It was hard to force out even a word. But this much, I had to say.

“It was obvious I’d only be dead weight if I kept going with you. And I didn’t want to go back.”

I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life in this crippled body, either.

“You’re so fucking amazing, I probably didn’t need to shield you.”

I’d thrown myself forward even knowing that. My body, which could barely move anymore, had obeyed me in that one moment. Thanks to that, I’d shoved that irritating bastard aside, and a great hole had been torn through my chest.

“... I’m sleepy. Just go already.”

Even forcing out words was getting harder now. My voice sounded very far away, and the sobbing sounded farther away still. I couldn’t so much as twitch a finger. My body was heavy. Everything before my eyes was turning black.

“Thank you.”

At the very end,

I heard his voice. Bastard. If you were going to say it, you could’ve said it a little sooner. Still, it feels good. In all my life, I’d never heard you thank me before.

“Waaah.”

What the fuck?