Chapter 123

[Oh dear.]

The Nostalgia Candy in my hand vanished.

"...!"

[Good heavens! Mr. Roe Deer, have you been making meals of candy?]

"Haha..."

[This simply won't do!]

The missing Nostalgia Candy magically appeared in Braun's gloved hand, then disappeared again with a magician's flourish.

... Completely disappeared.

"..."

Oh, was I supposed to applaud?

CLAP, CLAP, CLAP...

As I clapped, Braun bowed like a magician.

"Um, where's the candy..."

[Mr. Roe Deer, your first meal in a month is some ancient candy you can't even remember buying! Oh, this is an insult to catering.]

SNAP, SNAP.

The Host snapped his fingers.

[Some say creative passion springs from hunger... but my standards differ!]

[Let's start with some proper food.]

At the Host's request, faceless employees opened my dressing room door and greeted me cheerfully.

A white tablecloth was spread over the table on one side of the room, and they began setting down food in perfect coordination.

Steaming Western dishes.

An entire formal dinner that looked as though it should be served in courses arrived on the table all at once.

[Since you made no particular requests, Mr. Roe Deer, I, Braun, have personally selected today's menu.]

[Now, you'll feel energized once you've eaten...]

"..."

... It suddenly struck me that it had been a very long time since I'd seen hot food.

Seated opposite me, the Host displayed a smiling emoticon on his TV and waved utensils on either side of it.

Enjoy your meal!!

... For some reason, our surroundings were dark.

It felt as though a spotlight shone only on the dinner spread on the table...

A glint.

My silver ring sparkled in the light illuminating the table, then dulled, outshone by the light reflecting off the fork.

"..."

After a moment's hesitation, I picked up my utensils.

But while I was wondering what to eat...

[For a drink to accompany it... Ah yes, Mr. Roe Deer. You said you liked grapes, didn't you?]

"...!"

At a gesture from the Host, a curved glass bottle filled with sloshing ruby liquid landed on the table.

A wine bottle.

[An excellent wine. I received it as a gift while hosting a quiz show some time ago, and now I finally get to open it to celebrate my friend's successful first appearance...]

Without thinking, I read the vintage printed on the bottle. 1999.

The year that edition of Happy Ending Teddy, the guest I'd booked for this episode, went on sale.

"... Did you match it to the year this episode's guest was manufactured?"

[Ah, an audience member who notices the intention is always a delight. Precisely!]

[I prepared it to celebrate. It was your debut, after all!]

[Ah, a fine entertainer must always attend to such details to move people. I hope this has been instructive, Soleum...]

The Host opened the wine himself.

The ruby liquid swirled into a glass, which was set before me.

[Now then... a drink?]

... Hmm.

It would have been strange not to drink after all this, but somehow, although my appetite was returning, I couldn't summon the desire.

[... Oh dear. Is it not to your liking, Mr. Roe Deer? It seems I lack the knack for understanding my friend's heart. How shameful for a broadcaster...]

"Oh, no. That's not it."

I grew anxious.

I picked up the glass of wine...

And drank.

...

"It's good."

[Isn't it? Please, relax and enjoy...]

"Sure."

I picked up my utensils.

"..."

The meal continued.

Somehow, the more I ate and drank, the clearer my head felt.

As though nutrients were entering an exhausted body... No, that wasn't a metaphor. That was exactly what was happening.

'I thought I was feeling fine.'

Maybe I'd been more exhausted than I'd realized.

...

... No, wait a minute!

'Of course I would be, if I hadn't eaten for a month!'

By any normal standard, how could a human go a month without eating and be perfectly fine?

'I should be dead.'

Good heavens. Was I only realizing this now?

[Hmm? Mr. Roe Deer, is something wrong with the food?]

"No. That's not it."

I kept eating.

The more I ate, the more it felt as though my brain was working again.

'Even if this Darkness hasn't contaminated me, it does seem to have been influencing me to some extent.'

My mind must have been foggy.

Even after coming here, I'd done nothing but blindly work hard.

Had I been too excited about not being scared anymore...? Anyway.

'I'd better check.'

I started to take another candy out of my tattoo, but stopped, feeling it would be a waste.

Besides, I'd need the great Host's permission.

"Braun, could you give back the candy you took earlier?"

[Hmm?]

"I've eaten now, so I thought I'd have one as a snack."

[Oh... I see. Very well.]

Braun placed a candy back in my palm.

Nostalgia Candy.

[Here you are, Soleum!]

Now I remembered clearly.

'Eating this candy puts your body back into its best condition from the past ten years, right?'

It was what had helped me endure Segwang Technical High School.

'Good.'

I popped the candy into my mouth.

...

Hmm.

'Nothing's changed?'

It just... felt like the final nail in the coffin.

'I guess that means I'm in my best condition right now.'

They did say stress was the root of all illness. Apparently, it really was important to do work that suited you.

From now on... let's just not skip meals and do nothing but work...

Even if working on a supernatural talk show made skipping meals feel harmless, it had still affected me like this.

'Come to think of it, doing nothing but work was a little strange too.'

Setting down my empty wineglass, I spoke seriously.

"Braun. I've been thinking, and I really do need to bring this up..."

[Hmm?]

"My employment contract. Shouldn't we discuss things like vacation and pay?"

[Oh... Soleum.]

Braun gave me a vaguely discomfited look, and the emoticon on his TV put a hand to its forehead.

[Naturally, my show's crew is guaranteed ample leave and silver coins... I'm bewildered as to what on earth you heard during the explanation on your first day.]

R-really?

'Was I out of my mind from not eating?'

Come to think of it, my memories of the first few days after I started working here were hazy.

I even seemed to have lost all the things I'd used at Daydream Inc... This was maddening.

"Sorry. But I'd still like to negotiate my working conditions now."

[Of course, Mr. Roe Deer!]

Well fed and clearheaded, I negotiated fiercely with the Host until we completed an employment contract.

Two days off a week, summer and winter vacations, fifty Strange One's Silver Coins, a performance-based bonus every six months...

Hmm. Not bad.

[Then let's have you sign the contract before the week is out!]

"All right."

[Now you'll officially be working on the talk show. Ah, yes. I also had a surprise idea during today's live broadcast!]

[I stopped by your dressing room to tell you, but seeing you put candy into a stomach that had been empty for a month startled me so much that it slipped my mind. Good heavens!]

"Haha... Um. Sorry. What is it?"

Braun pointed a gloved hand at my forearm.

[Your tattoos, Mr. Roe Deer.]

Oh.

I raised my arm and looked at the lettering.

My forearm was blotchy red where the makeup had been unevenly wiped off.

[Getting makeup done for every appearance will be a nuisance. Oh, all the more so for a workaholic like you, Mr. Roe Deer, who tries to work even when given time off! With that in mind...]

[Why not remove them altogether?]

"..."

[Think about it. You'll save time, and it'll be an opportunity to free yourself from troublesome constraints...]

"Wait a minute."

['Wait a minute'? Aha, is something troubling you?]

"These tattoos have been useful in all kinds of ways."

[Haha! Is that all!]

[That was when you worked at that miserable company, with neither fun nor decent treatment.]

[You're part of this marvelous talk show's crew now, Soleum! You'll be treated well wherever you go. You can even get free ice cream sundaes at the boutique. Come now, let's wipe away these filthy scraps of lettering.]

Hmm.

"Still, I think... I could have fun with these."

Especially the inventory tattoo.

'I could use it to stage all sorts of fun things on the talk show too.'

Like pulling something out of my arm like magic to surprise the audience. Even if I didn't go onstage, wouldn't it be useful for helping the crew carry sets or lights in a pinch?

"Why should I get rid of an ability I already have? I'm asking because I don't really see the point."

[Hmm.]

The Host interlaced his fingers.

[Yes, Soleum. Now that you've eaten and regained your energy, you're showing more of your naturally independent spirit... Excellent!]

[In that case, I'll look into this myself. I'll find something that can produce a very similar effect.]

[To think you even covet a magician's tricks! Such passion is moving. Haha!]

An emoticon wiping away tears appeared on Braun's TV screen.

[Then enjoy the rest of your break, my friend!]

"Sure. Thanks."

After making sure the catering staff had cleared away every trace of the meal in my dressing room, the Host waved and left.

"Whew."

I sat on the sofa.

I wasn't appearing on the next show, and this week's guest bookings and production meetings were already finished, so I had some free time.

'Then shall I do some organizing?'

Since I might end up having the tattoos removed, it seemed sensible to sort through the things inside first.

Now that I'd realized I'd lost the items I received from Daydream Inc., I could also take the opportunity to properly check what was in there.

TAP.

I reached into the inventory tattoo and began taking things out and arranging them on the table.

'Most of it's still here, safe and sound.'

Other than the company belongings, the only thing missing was the Blood Bathtub... Oh, that was in the bathroom. In that case, nothing was missing.

Even the Exclusive Equipment made by the company was still there, perfectly intact...

Some of it hadn't been made by me, but received as gifts.

"Oh."

I took out a black button the size of a fingernail.

... Deputy Eun Haje's communication button.

'Could this be the button Section Chief Lee Jaheon meant?'

Hmm. He must have meant that we should keep in touch.

'That's kind of him.'

I'd go out and try it when I got some leave. Smiling, I put the button away.

And past the Happy Maker, emergency rations, Blood-Drinking Knife, wrapping paper, and Necronomicon...

I spotted a red button too.

We Help! - ₩66,666,666

'Surely he wasn't talking about this button.'

Wasn't this the sort of thing you pressed in a moment of absolute peril?

There was neither reason nor need to recommend it to someone happily working at a new job.

I set it on the table without much thought.

'Almost done?'

There was practically nothing left in the tattoo... Oh, one more thing.

A paper bag decorated with theme park mascots emerged from the tattoo.

It was filled with dragon-shaped churros.

[Blue Soda Churros]

Wow.

'I can barely remember how long these have been here.'

Hadn't I sold one to an official from the Disaster Management Bureau and kept the rest?

Still, they didn't seem spoiled, since I'd stored them in the inventory tattoo.

I was about to set the bag on the table... but something felt odd, so I examined it.

I could read letters I hadn't been able to before.

A Blissful Taste

A Healthy Snack for Children

A healthy snack, huh.

'... Would it be okay to eat these?'

Because, well, the Host had said I could eat candy too.

And he'd told me to eat properly!

'They'll spoil if I get rid of the tattoo. Maybe I should just eat them before that happens.'

It would be a waste otherwise.

'Right.'

I put a churro in my mouth.

It popped on my tongue with a junk-food texture as I chewed and swallowed...

And.

And...

"Mmph!!"

Something surged up my throat.

SPLATTER.

Dark blue water began pouring out of the mouth that had swallowed the churro.

Seawater, smelling of salt.

"...!! Mmph!!"

Seawater filled my throat and mouth completely, gushing madly onto the dressing room floor.

I-I couldn't breathe!

I couldn't breathe!

'Wh-what is...'

What kind of healthy snack was this shit, f*ck... No! I mustn't swear! But what the hell was I supposed to...

N-no. My consciousness was fading, whether from lack of oxygen or something else. I-I was dy...

...

'That.'

We Help.

I barely managed to get my hand onto the table.

I rummaged blindly through the belongings spread across it, and the moment my hand touched the red button...

"Mmph!!"

I slammed my arm against the table like mad, pressing the button.

Now seawater was streaming from my eyes, nose, and ears too.

'H-help...'

And.

BEEEEEP!

An alarm blared furiously inside my head...

Emergency Call Complete

My consciousness was ejected.

* * *

"Supervisor Kim Soleum."

"..."

"Supervisor Kim Soleum."

"Gasp...!!"

Holy f*ck!

I jolted upright in terror.

No, I thought I'd gotten up...

But everything was pitch-black.

...

I couldn't see anything. No, I couldn't feel anything. No sense of touch. No smell, no hearing! Nothing! There was nothing...

"Are you awake?"

"...!!"

A familiar manner of speech echoed inside my head.

That was...

"... Team Leader Lee Jaheon?"

"Yes."

At that moment.

BOOM!!

The world shook.

'Wh-what was that!'

"Please wait a moment."

Then, a few seconds later.

A view suddenly opened up.

My half-flooded dressing room. The scene I'd seen right before losing consciousness.

But I wasn't seeing it "directly."

An image floated before me like CCTV footage... as if I were peeking through someone else's eyes...

"...!"

The viewpoint on the screen checked its own limbs.

My tattoos were visible at the wrists.

... It was me.

This was the view of someone else controlling my body!

"I'll move now."

Then the viewpoint began moving.

H-huh?!

'Wait, could this be...'

"W-wait a moment. Are you moving my body right now, Team Leader?"

"Yes."

I swallowed.

"... Were you summoned by the 'We Help' button?"

"Yes."

"..."

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute!

The "We Help" button sold at the Alien Shop... had summoned Section Chief Lee Jaheon?

"Team Leader."

I swallowed.

"... Are you, by any chance, an alien from the Space Shopping Mall?"

"...? Yes."

Aaaaaaaargh!!