Chapter 69

Who could ever have imagined this shit?

Being trapped in an enclosed room with three ghosts pretending to be human, forced to sit still in a cold sweat.

And on top of that...

Having to act perfectly calm, as though I hadn't noticed a thing.

'... Don't let it show.'

Even if everyone before me was beaming as they clapped with the backs of their hands.

No, not everyone...

The ghosts.

CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP

'Do. Not. Let. It. Show.'

And then one of them whipped around to ask me:

"Why aren't you clapping?"

"..."

Holy fuck.

I raised my hands, barely managing to keep them from shaking.

And...

CLAP CLAP CLAP

I politely tapped one hand against my other arm, making a soft sound. Then I glanced around like a nervous junior employee trying to read the room and gave a slightly awkward smile.

"... I was going to, but I missed my cue and got flustered. It's a little embarrassing."

"..."

Please.

Please let it slide.

"Aw, you don't have to be like that!"

"Hey, Leopard, you're still putting pressure on him. Sit yourself down before you get on our talented new recruit's bad side."

"Oh, yes, ma'am."

The employee called Leopard... or the 'something' impersonating him shrugged and sat down as instructed.

'Phew... '

But my relief was short-lived.

THUD THUD THUD THUD THUD THUD

Dolphin suddenly dropped her head to the floor and began banging it sideways against it.

Without the slightest change in expression.

"A b-bug, I think there's a bug, a bug, I can't get the bug, the bug..."

THUD THUD THUD THUD THUD THUD

"... I heard other living creatures can't enter this Darkness. Could you have been mistaken?"

"Oh."

Dolphin stopped moving her head.

Her long hair was a tangled mess, and her skull was crushed.

"Right. Thanks, Supervisor Roe Deer."

"Not at all."

Then she calmly resumed talking to Deputy Leopard beside her as though nothing had happened.

"..."

Would I disappear... if I passed out, too?

This was driving me insane.

'How the hell did everyone but me get replaced...!'

How wonderful it would have been if I'd lost consciousness, been replaced, and woken up tomorrow morning instead.

"Mr. Roe Deer, have something to eat."

"Oh. Thank you so much, sir..."

Amid all this, the ghost wearing Section Chief Lizard's guise... No, let's not think that way. Section Chief Lee Jaheon offered me some food.

It was gimbap from a pretty good snack shop near the company.

'We have to last almost twenty-four hours in here until tomorrow morning, so we do need to eat.'

A rational decision. Apart from the fact that putting anything in my mouth right now would probably give me terrible indigestion or make me throw it straight back up...

'Ugh.'

"Oh, how about we share? We brought some things, too."

The two Team C employees took out sandwiches.

My social reflexes supplied an answer.

"I should have brought something, but things were so hectic that I've only been receiving. I'm very sorry, and thank you."

"Aw, I told you not to worry about being the youngest or who's been here longer. The section chief here doesn't seem to care much either, right?"

"Correct."

At the lizard's curt answer, Deputy Leopard gave a thumbs-up and an easy grin.

"Wow, that's great. Our team leader's like that, too. Mr. Roe Deer, you know that Mallard team leader over in Team A? Ours is a whole different class of good person compared to that guy."

Oh.

"... Your team leader must be quite impressive to have earned such respect from you both."

"Pretty much, yeah. Took leave after earning a Wish Coupon... Man, I really hope our team leader doesn't quit."

Without responding to the insult aimed at Team A's leader, I gently steered the conversation toward praise instead.

They were ghosts, so there really wasn't any need to... No. I was sticking with this.

'Forget about it. Forget about it...'

Doing this almost felt less like being in a ghost story and more like making conversation with senior employees from related departments assigned to my group at some workshop...

Of course, that didn't last long.

It was right after our meal. Deputy Leopard stood up with a yawn.

"Ah, since we're going to be here all day... I'm going to take my shoes off. That's okay, right?"

"What? You should've brought slippers like me."

"Well, I didn't. What can I do? My socks are clean."

Deputy Leopard bantered casually with Supervisor Dolphin as he started taking off his shoes.

'Right. Even if he suddenly climbs onto the table and starts tap-dancing, don't be surpri—'

He had hands instead of feet.

The hands that had been forcibly crumpled up inside his shoes emerged and clung to the floor.

"..."

"Oh, while I'm up, I'll get some more coffee. Everyone wants more, right?"

He sprang up.

Deputy Leopard was doing a handstand.

The hands attached to his ankles waved high overhead.

TAP... TAP.

An office worker walking upside down.

"Supervisor Roe Deer."

I stifled a scream.

"Yes, Deputy Leopard?"

"Could you come help me carry the coffee? For some reason, I can't see very well. Huh? Huh?"

THUD, THUD, THUD, THUD.

His inverted body kept trying to move forward, bumping into the cabinet holding the coffee.

"I'm not asking because you're the newest, mind you. You're just sitting close by. Sorry if it sounds like I'm going back on what I said."

F-fuck.

"Yes. Of course."

I sprang to my feet and went over to Deputy Leopard.

Come to think of it, being next to an upside-down ghost might be better than sitting beside one with a crushed skull.

Right?

Right??

-How fascinating! Are they aiming for the uncanny valley effect?

-An entertaining performance, Mr. Roe Deer. Let's enjoy it to the fullest!

To the fullest?

Enjoy it?

'I want to congratulate myself just for not squeezing my eyes shut right now...!'

Asking me to enjoy this was setting the difficulty way too high!

"All right, let's carry these over."

"Yes."

I placed a cup of coffee in each hand attached to his ankles, then carried a cup in each of my own hands and set them on the table.

I was proud of myself for not letting my hands tremble or spilling the coffee.

The problem was that, with everyone's coffee refilled, the mood shifted into a proper conversation.

"Now, then."

Supervisor Dolphin beamed, one side of her skull caved in.

"How about we take turns bragging about Darknesses we've cleared? Honestly, without little pleasures like that, it's hard to keep working here!"

Deputy Leopard waved a hand.

"Hey, what if a ghost overhears and does something? Let's just talk about, I don't know, our favorite foods."

"Oh, sure. That works, too."

"..."

He did have a point.

Even discussing the ghost replacements in this Darkness does not cause any abnormalities.

However, this is not recommended, as the conversation is highly likely to lead to questioning who is a ghost.

But you're all ghosts.

"I like things crispy outside and tender inside. Fried eggplant, for example."

"Oh, do you? I like things that pop when you bite into them. Eyeballs, maybe?"

Dolphin thrust her face right in front of mine.

"Do you have eyeballs, Mr. Roe Deer? Looks like you do... You brought them inside your mask, didn't you? You're going to share let's share"

Aaaaaaargh!!

"I didn't bring them to eat."

I pretended to politely fold my hands beneath the table to hide their shaking.

"And it seems we have similar tastes in food. I think texture is important, too."

"Oh, a kindred spirit!"

The ghost imitating Supervisor Dolphin smiled brightly.

"I guess Supervisor Roe Deer isn't a ghost. You even talk normally about food."

Wow.

'I can't take any more of this.'

If I kept up this conversation, there would come a moment when I screamed. Definitely.

-Oh dear, you seem rather sensitive to the uncanny valley effect, Mr. Roe Deer! An audience member with great reactions is always welcome. A shame about the circumstances...

-Don't worry. Isn't it a great comfort simply to have me, Braun, beside you? Your friend, right at your side!

... Wait.

Right.

'Braun is right.'

-A fine Host's words are always suited to the situation!

Exactly. What I was experiencing was a kind of fear arising from the uncanny valley, amplified to the extreme.

'The fear of seeing something that looks human but isn't.'

Watching coworkers suddenly and casually display grotesque, alien behavior in an ordinary break room was incredibly chilling.

Add in the fact that I was the only human here, and I was experiencing the absolute pinnacle of insane terror.

'In that case...'

Let's look beside me.

The lizard was putting a sandwich cookie into his mouth, wrapper and all.

"..."

"..."

It wasn't any scarier than usual!

That would probably hold true even if he flicked his tongue, walked backward with a huge grin, or stood up and danced like mad, shaking his head while calmly making everyday conversation.

He was already scary anyway!

He already looked like a lizard!

There was no uncanny valley or anything else for me to feel.

'I'm sticking with the section chief, no matter what.'

At last, a solution was in sight.

Fighting my cold sweat, I casually turned in my seat toward Team Leader Lizard, as though I had something important to ask him.

"Section Chief Lee Jaheon."

And there actually was something I wanted to ask.

According to <Records of Dark Exploration>, in this ghost story, 'the ghosts are identical to one's companions in every respect, including appearance, identity, and personality.'

In other words, if I casually asked something without making it unnatural, there was a high chance I'd receive the same answer as from the 'original.'

Provided he didn't suddenly start doing ghost things.

'Then maybe I can ask even more freely.'

Since he wasn't the actual person.

I pulled my chair closer, as though I wanted to use this opportunity for a frank discussion between teammates.

I was trying to create an atmosphere that would keep the other ghosts from interrupting, and it seemed to work reasonably well.

Then I asked:

"We haven't really had the chance to talk like this at work. Would you mind if I asked you a few things privately now?"

"Go ahead."

"Thank you. What I wanted to ask was... I've been wondering how you're so strong, sir."

"I see."

Fortunately, Section Chief Lee Jaheon didn't seem offended.

"It is the combined result of innate factors and acquired learning."

"..."

An all-purpose answer that worked for any question!

It felt like asking the top student in school how they got such good grades and being told they studied hard with their excellent brain...

'I'd like a little more detail.'

From anyone else, that would probably have been a sign to back off, but with Section Chief Lizard, I couldn't tell.

In the end, I deliberately gave a slightly sheepish smile and replied:

"I see. I asked because I'd like to become physically stronger myself. Even without items or contamination."

"Combine a protein-focused diet with aerobic and anaerobic exercise."

"... Will that make me as strong as you, sir?"

"No."

"..."

Look, I'm already about as strong as you'd expect for my build.

I almost gave my boss an incredulous look.

"... I'd appreciate any advice you could give me on the subject."

"Yes. You have other strengths, Mr. Roe Deer. Develop those further."

The lizard spoke dryly.

"No individual excels in every area. Do not pour resources into inefficient, unnecessary pursuits. Make use of others."

... Wait a minute.

"Do you mean that you'll handle situations requiring strength, so I'd be better off developing my other strengths?"

"Yes."

The lizard nodded.

"Your strengths are your ideas and judgment, Mr. Roe Deer."

"... Thank you."

Well, now.

'Would you call that a high opinion of me?'

Of course, I was grateful. It was better than dumping everything on a subordinate.

'Still, it's a shame.'

Should I push a little further?

After a moment's consideration, I pressed the opening.

"But we do sometimes enter Darknesses separately. Physical strength is a versatile, effective tool, so I think I'll need it when I'm on my own."

"I see."

The lizard stared into space for a moment, as though deep in thought, then gave his decision.

"I will recommend an item."

"...!"

Jackpot.

"Does it enhance physical strength?"

"Something similar. Use it as a parent item when making Exclusive Equipment."

"...! Thank you."

I'd already been thinking it was about time to upgrade my Exclusive Equipment or expand my selection.

'At least I got something out of this.'

It seemed I'd managed to gain something even while sweating buckets in a ghost story full of ghosts... Wait.

Come to think of it, this lizard sitting before me wasn't Lee Jaheon himself. He was a ghost, too.

'Does this promise actually count?'

I was briefly flustered, but then I remembered the manual.

Those replaced by ghosts will indirectly remember the events that occurred inside the enclosed space.

In that case, given Section Chief Lee Jaheon's personality, he was extremely likely to honor it.

'That settles it.'

Phew.

Accomplishing something did give me a sense of achievement.

'Now let's use that sense of achievement to endure the terror...'

I pretended to stretch, trying not to look at the two Team C ghosts, who had now begun doing handstands and grinning at me.

I no longer even cared which of them was Lee Gangheon, the man who'd introduced me to Salmon Market.

'Let's empty my mind...'

I plied the lizard with every kind of trivial small talk, avoiding conversation with the ghosts as much as possible.

Because I kept talking to him, the Section Chief Lizard ghost had no opportunity to do anything pointless. He just answered me endlessly.

'I've learned the deeply significant fact that the section chief prefers beef to pork...'

-My friend, this is no longer even small talk, let alone an interview. It feels like extremely tedious research for an amateur autobiography...

I know, Braun, but I can't help it...

When even that ran dry, I shut my eyes and pretended to be sleepy, passing the remaining time playing word chain with Braun.

Whatever bullshit reached my ears, I stuck to the same response: "I'm tired... I'm sorry, but could we continue talking after we leave?"

'It's three in the morning. Please.'

I felt as though I was bathing in cold sweat, but at least no sudden emergency occurred.

And so, after several precarious hours that felt like a thousand years, clinging only to Braun in my pocket...

"..."

"..."

CLICK.

I finally saw the break-room door open.

Having spent the entire night awake, alone...

"... I did it."

I did it, you bastards!

I made it!!

Dazed, I wanted to stand up and punch the air.

'I'm tearing up.'

This was almost the first time I'd endured this kind of ghostly horror all on my own, without any way to shorten the ordeal...

How should I put it? It felt as though I'd overcome my limits.

'I really want to give myself a pat on the back...'

I staggered to my feet.

I could only be grateful that no one knew I was the sort of person who struggled even with a D-grade—

"Mr. Roe Deer."

"...!?"

H-huh...?

I turned my head to see the lizard, his eyes wide open.

He looked perfectly fine, as if he hadn't stayed up all night... Wait.

'...?'

His eyes were open?

"T-Team Leader."

"There is no need to wait for Team C to wake up. Go home."

I stared at the lizard standing there perfectly normally as though I'd seen a ghost.

Then I turned to look at the Team C employees sprawled out asleep.

"..."

"..."

No way.

"Weren't you... a ghost last night?"

"I was not."

"... But you clapped with the backs of your hands!?"

"?"

The lizard tilted his head, then answered as though something had dawned on him.

"I thought it was a trend."

"..."

Ah.

Aaaaaaah!