Chapter 111 - The Former Companion III

6

Before I knew it, fifteen years had passed since run 173 began.

"Guild Leadeeer..."

Miss Sim Aryeon, our guild member and resident Goryeojang villain, wore a woeful expression. More than a decade had passed, yet she still had no conception of personal growth.

"Why the long face this time?"

"Just don't roll me a joint..."

"...? A joint? You smoke?"

"... Ah, shiit. This is why normies... Anyway. The thing iiis, SG Net is dead..."

Sim Aryeon sniffled.

SG Net was a website built with cutting-edge technology, its servers housed in Seo Gyu's brain and heart.

Unless our manly Fucking Bullshit Guy got into an argument with someone on the street and died away from home, there was no chance of SG Net shutting down.

Granted, that was statistically quite likely, but it hadn't happened yet. Thus, Aryeon's use of the word "dead" was strictly figurative.

"Sob. Just look at thiiis..."

Aryeon showed me SG Net on her smartphone.

-Goryeojang: Today's café mocha.jpeg

-Anonymous: Wrote a novel, looking for critiques

-Goryeojang: Today's café mocha.png

-Anonymous: Everyone, believe in God

-Anonymous: Anyone up for a hot spring trip?

-Anonymous: Why are there only dumbasses left here? lol

-Goryeojang: Today's café mocha.jpg

I tilted my head. Even after looking it over three or four times, I could find only one odd thing.

"Aryeon. Why are you drinking so much coffee?"

"Aaaagh! Th-there were... two posts on SG Net today! Two! Just two posts, and that was it! Those are the coffees I drank today, yesterday, and the day before!"

"Oh..."

"Do you know how many posts SG Net gets per day on average now? Four! Four! My God! Guild Leader! I c-can't live like this! I can't even get a rise out of anyone. And of those four daily posts, one is mine, and another is something I posted anonymously...!"

"Hmm."

Yes. SG Net had died.

Only the [Library Society Anomaly Encyclopedia], which Aryeon and I maintained, still saw any activity. The restless spirits haunting the community had all been exorcised.

Every effect has a cause. There was a very clear reason why the ecosystem known as SG Net had been destroyed.

"Well. It was one thing when everyone lived scattered across the country, but now we all live here. This city has plenty of squares and places to relax. People probably don't need an online community as much as they used to."

"Nooo, but this is too, waaay too weird... I-I guarantee you even the Vatican in the old days had an online community. Everyone moving to Busan can't possibly kill an online community. Gasp. G-Guild Leader! Isn't this something occult? It's an anomaly, an anomaly! Wooow! You like anomalies, Guild Leader...! H-hurry up and subjugate it!"

This little punk... Sharp, aren't you?

"Aryeon. Do you really want me to spell out the other reason?"

"Y-yes? What do you mean...?"

"Look. There are no unemployed or homeless people here. Everyone has a job and leads a healthy daily life. When work ends, people throw small parties or go to clubs and socialize in person. They work off all their stress there, so of course they don't need to visit online communities. Just look at Seo Gyu. He went out saying he had a tabletop RPG session tonight, didn't he? But you, Aryeon, spend every day holed up alone in the guild build—"

"Eeeek! I-I can't hear you! Can't heaar yooou!"

Aryeon covered both ears and rolled around. No, rather than rolling... she rubbed her back against the floor. Vigorously, like someone doing the backstroke, she convulsed.

Had Gregor Samsa seen her, he would have scorned her for degrading the dignity of vermin.

"R-real life? Fulfillmeeent? You're saying they're so happy in the moment they don't need the internet? Are you stupid? Guild Leader, are you seriously stupid? Here, inside this smartphone screen, is reality! It's the truth! Humans quitting the internet—that's inhuman...! Something like that couldn't actually happen in this world, on this Earth, in this universe!"

"But it actually did."

"Eeeeeeeek...!"

The Goryeojang villain sank.

Even if the world were ending tomorrow, Sim Aryeon would still post nonsense on the internet today. Regardless of her character, however, her ability, [Grudge Bomb], was inevitably entering a decline.

It had become difficult to provoke people anymore.

Busan was drawing ever closer to an ideal world.

Everyone wanted to become better than they were. And in Busan, there was a way to grant those wishes.

-"Even though I'm tired after work, I have a habit of staying up late doing other things. It keeps wrecking my daily routine. Great Witch, would you please delete this habit of mine?"

-"Certainly. Gladly. What could be more agonizing than insomnia? Just offer one month's salary."

It was not a bargain with the devil, but it was a bargain with a witch.

Dang Seorin's Equivalent Exchange magic. Cheon Yohwa's Brainwashing magic. With those two powers working together, people could surgically excise the "parts they wished would go away" from their personalities with astonishing ease.

And it wasn't limited to personality.

-"My family abused me as a child. Even now, whenever I'm sitting quietly, the trauma suddenly resurfaces and torments me. This disposition of mine causes trouble for those around me, too. Great Witch, could you erase my memories of being abused by my family in childhood?"

-"Of course, dear. Provided you also pay with all the negative emotions you hold toward your family."

Memories. Emotions. Personality.

The great witch accepted anything as material for negotiation, and anything as payment.

Busan's crime rate plummeted. Naturally, since every criminal's personality had been remodeled.

Dang Seorin's "witch trials" gradually opened to ordinary people as well. Once a week, golden scales soared over the great square, and each time, dozens of people became slightly better versions of themselves.

Was it Tolstoy who said it? Happy families are happy for similar reasons, but unhappy families are all unhappy for reasons of their own.

There may be many ways back to unhappiness, but there is always only one road to happiness.

This city was no different.

As people cut away their unhappiness one piece at a time, interestingly enough, the citizens' auras gradually grew alike.

Healthy. Early to rise and early to bed. Exercising regularly. Cherishing the people around them. Polite. Kind. Honest with themselves. Avoiding hurt, whether suffering or inflicting it, whenever possible.

Utopia.

"What am I going to do, Guild Leadeer...? Waaaah, now I can't fix you even if your arm gets cut off and your legs snap into pieces... I'm sorry. When another monster wave attacks, I-I don't think I'll be able to heal you anymooore..."

"Oh, don't worry about that. You were due to be fired soon anyway."

"... Huh?"

"It'll be over soon. The monster wave."

7

I'll give a detailed explanation of the anomaly known as the "monster wave" in another episode.

For now, imagining precisely what the name suggests will suffice.

A tsunami of anomalies. Monsters surging endlessly from the horizon.

Even anomalies that could never ordinarily coexist because their territories overlap come rushing in as though they form a single enormous army.

I don't know why this phenomenon occurs. But it is clear when it occurs.

When the void grows too large.

For example, if all of North Korea is consumed by the void, a "monster wave" will inevitably appear.

The tsunami lasts approximately twenty hours.

Thousands, tens of thousands of anomalies form a simultaneous wave, approaching to engulf the ground humanity still holds.

This very phenomenon forced me to establish the National Road Management Corps.

The reason we refused to abandon the Korean Peninsula's various cities, going to the trouble of connecting national roads to preserve our territory, was that any further encroachment by the void would leave us swept away by a nearly infinite tidal wave of monsters.

Dang Seorin chose the exact opposite course.

-"Undertaker! Undertaker! Undertaker!"

-"Waaaaaah!"

And today.

The terror of the monster waves, which had constantly threatened the city's security ever since the peninsula's resources and manpower were concentrated in Busan, finally came to an end.

-"Everyone! Welcome him with a round of applause! Our hero! The Guardian of our city who defended Busan—no! The Korean Peninsula! And beyond that, the world! Ascendant Undertaker makes his entrance!"

-"Long live the Undertaker! Long live Busan!"

A parade was held in the city.

It was a kind of festival. Just as a victorious Roman general would pass through a triumphal arch and display his achievements to the citizens, I proceeded slowly, escorted by the awakened around me.

I rode in a convertible, while overhead, members of Three Thousand Worlds—now part of the National Road Management Corps—followed on broomsticks in a rather impressive formation.

Songs of victory streamed incessantly from speakers installed throughout the city. Their melodies stirred and moved everyone who listened.

Even alcohol, a quintessential luxury, was distributed without limit today. Five years' worth of reserves would probably disappear in this single day.

-"All this time, our city has lived under the constant threat of those loathsome waves of anomalies! But through the valiant efforts of Ascendant Undertaker and countless other heroes! The monster wave has finally been subjugated! Rejoice to your hearts' content, citizens! Our city is free!"

-"Waaaaaaah!"

The festival reached its climax when the procession crossed the city and arrived at the National Road Management Corps headquarters.

The square where the weekly "witch trials" were held. Overlooking it, the Corps headquarters towered like the Tower of Babel.

In the middle of the grand staircase one had to climb to enter the headquarters, the city's ruler, the mistress of the Korean Peninsula, Dang Seorin in her black pointed hat, was waiting.

"Welcome, Undertaker."

Seorin smiled. Her smile and voice were being broadcast throughout the city through magic specially designed for this day.

"You did it in the end."

"..."

"You warned me before. You said countless anomalies would block the path we chose. But I said your strength and my magic could overcome them."

She pursed her lips playfully.

"Can we consider it proven now which of us was right?"

"You can have the credit for being right. I'll take the blood and effort I invested in making your words come true."

"Oh, please. Show-off."

Laughter rose from the crowd surrounding the square.

Her diction and our conversation were far too undignified for the ruler of a city, but it didn't matter. This city no longer needed grand political flourishes or hyperbole to maintain power and authority.

Every single citizen had become complete.

"In any case, a hero who defeats our worst enemy deserves a fitting reward. I swear upon my golden scales that whatever you wish for, I'll grant it. Now, our dear hero. Tell me your wish."

"Thank you. Then... It seems you put Operations Director Yu Jiwon on the microphone for today's event. Replace her. Her personality may have changed, but she's still just as over the top. I nearly died of embarrassment on the way here."

-"Guardian Undertaker?"

Laughter erupted in the square again.

Seorin chuckled too, then took a step toward me. Her footfall sounded. For some reason, it reached only my ears, not the city's speakers.

I realized she had briefly cut off the "broadcast magic."

"Is that enough? Really? I meant it when I said I'd grant any wish."

"My wish is to stay by your side until the end, and that wish is already coming true."

"..."

"So just fire Yu Jiwon. Go on."

Seorin let out a soft laugh.

"Honestly..."

Even I don't know what words followed.

Seorin held out her right hand, and, indulging her tastes, I kissed her ring. Then the entire city's cheers drowned out every other sound.

Night fell.

Fireworks burst.

All manner of witches roamed the city's night sky. Corps members, given three days of leave starting today, flew up on their broomsticks and fired off firework magic to their hearts' content.

Seorin and I sat on a high terrace of the Corps headquarters, the two of us gazing up at the festival in the night sky.

On the table were a few pieces of bread from the famously delicious Haeundae Bakery, along with two already-empty wine bottles.

"So, now..."

Seorin's long finger slid around the rim of her wineglass.

"Are all the anomalies threatening us gone?"

"Well. We can consider the greatest threat gone. There may still be God of Alienation-class anomalies I haven't identified. But at the very least, the monster wave will never target this place again."

"That's good. It means we won't have to watch those damned anomalies swarming toward us anymore. That's really good."

Fireworks burst again.

Perhaps even the whistling of the rockets as they rose had been recreated with magic; the pleasant sound of fireworks echoed overhead.

Red and yellow backlighting shone on Seorin's profile as she watched the night sky.

"Ahh, this feels good. Mm. Undertaker, make me a cup of coffee. I'm in the mood for one."

"If you drink caffeine at night, you won't sleep."

"Who cares?"

Seorin propped her chin on her left hand and grinned. Her right hand stroked Blackie, curled up in her lap.

"I'm not sleeping tonight anyway. And I'm skipping work tomorrow. Won't you have more free time starting today, too?"

"... Fair enough. Just one cup, then."

The rooftop terrace, effectively Seorin's private bar, had every tool a barista needed. I smelled the coffee grounds; they'd been ground today.

There was even ice cream in the cooler. With a wry smile, I made an affogato and handed it to her.

"Here. Coffee for your hangover."

"Oh, thank you! Mmmm. Yes, just as I thought. The coffee you make really is the best."

Fireworks burst.

MEOW

Blackie cried from Seorin's lap.

"But... how did you subjugate the monster wave? You said it yourself, Undertaker. That it was practically impossible to subjugate, more a phenomenon than an anomaly."

"I didn't."

"Hm?"

"I didn't subjugate it. Near Seoul, a monster wave made up of hundreds of thousands of anomalies still appears, vanishes after twenty hours, then appears again, repeating endlessly."

"..."

I had verified it with my own eyes.

Seorin's hand stopped as she spooned up her affogato with relish.

"... Wait. Really? You're not joking? Then we're in serious trouble!"

"No. I've never lied to you, Dang Seorin. The monster wave will absolutely never surge down toward this place again. Your city is safe."

"Uh... Undertaker?"

Seorin looked confused.

"Sorry. I'm not following this conversation. Wasn't the monster wave a phenomenon that inevitably pushes out of the void into non-void regions, into human territory? That's what you told me before."

"That's right."

"And the monster wave hasn't actually been subjugated, but keeps appearing?"

"Yes."

"Then why, on what grounds, are you so sure a monster wave will never sweep into Busan again?"

"Because this place is the void."

Fireworks burst.

"This is no longer human territory, but the territory of an anomaly. Not Busan, but Utopia. A void bearing a name that literally means 'a place that exists nowhere.'"

"..."

"So the monster wave has no reason to target this place and swarm toward it. Dang Seorin. Not while the anomaly that is you rules this region."

Fireworks burst.