Chapter 148 - Godslayer III

6

The Namsan void.

The anomaly entrenched here was the Korean Central Intelligence Agency, or KCIA for short. Calling it the Agency for National Security Planning worked just as well.

If you preferred Fate/stay night-style Noble Phantasm names to abbreviations, you could also call it [The Gun That Pierces the Heart of Dictatorial Power] or [Priests of the Sacred Water Who Resist Communism].

“What a backward country!”

Long ago, this had also been Old Man Scho’s most hated void.

“I’m not a communist advocating bloody revolution! I’m a social democrat advocating gradual reform through parliament! I’m also different from the far left that wants to seize parliamentary power and ultimately turn it into a party monopoly! Why must I be called a commie?!”

There was a reason he proclaimed his ideological convictions so vehemently.

-Catch that commie bastard over there!

-The target is putting up heavy resistance.

-Director! He’s a foreigner! One wrong move could turn this into a diplomatic incident!

-Hey! Agent Kim! Does a different hair color mean he can’t be a commie? Does that make Stalin a freedom fighter? Shut up and catch him when I tell you to!

BANG! BANG! BANG!

Gunshots rang out around Old Man Scho.

That’s right.

The “Korean Central Intelligence Agency” anomalies coiled up in Namsan appeared at every opportunity to round up humans with subversive ideologies.

In fact, the KCIA occupied a niche on the Korean Peninsula much like that of goblins.

No, judging by their various characteristics, they were unquestionably goblins.

A. First, there were lots of them. Anyone walking through the void could easily encounter middle-aged men whispering, “I’m actually a KCIA agent,” or “A relative of mine actually works at Namsan...”

B. They kidnapped people, dragged them into underground caves, and never returned them. Screams could always be heard coming from the Namsan bunker.

C. Let your guard down, thinking, “How strong could a mere goblin possibly be?” and you were guaranteed a nasty surprise.

The awakened who suffered most at the hands of these KCIA goblins was, without question, Old Man Scho.

Not just near Namsan—wherever he went, KCIA goblins would pop out and spray bullets.

“Fuuucking sons of bitches!”

The German bellowed with wonderfully earthy diction.

His mastery of sonic arts was such that, had he met Seo Gyu, the two might have acknowledged each other as sworn brothers.

“I! Am a social! Democrat! Who supports capitalism and liberal democracyyyy!”

What Old Man Scho had failed to consider was that one could not expect such nuanced ideological distinctions on the Korean Peninsula.

This was a land where Max Weber’s books had once been designated subversive literature because his name supposedly sounded identical to Karl Marx’s. Surely a mere social democrat was just a commie with slightly adjusted RGB values?

Moreover, from the KCIA anomalies’ perspective, “Germany,” like the Korean Peninsula, was still divided into West and East Germany. Clearly, Old Man Scho was an East German spy.

BANG!

In one run, Old Man Scho finally did die from KCIA gunfire.

Even across all my runs, it was a monumental death worthy of a Darwin Award. Waiting to see him again in the next run was excruciating.

After barely overcoming the urge to kill myself and going through the normal regression process, I immediately ran to find him.

Apparently aware of his own embarrassment, Old Man Scho stood with his hands behind his back.

I employed my footwork, demanding a look at his face, but each time he executed an astonishing evasive maneuver, maintaining his “hands-behind-the-back” stance with his back to me.

These were the first words out of his mouth:

“Embalmar. Huh? How could such a backward nation exist? Huh?”

Just as I thought.

Old Man Scho was always yelling at me to stop being racist, but deep in the dank folds of his brain lurked the ego of a European imperialist who looked down on Asia. I knew it.

“I guarantee Nazi anomalies are appearing back in your homeland, dancing hand in hand with the Gestapo.”

“Send me home this instant! I’ll show you what it means to clean up your own mess!”

“Well, if you want to see World War I and World War II taking turns playing out in the great void, I won’t stop you...”

“Why is humanity so backward?!”

A textbook line for the moment a revolutionary degenerates into a dictator.

“They don’t arrest bald people. Why not take this opportunity to shave it all off?”

“Fuck off! Nobody touches my hair!”

In any case, Namsan was a void I had known for a very long time.

I had even accompanied Old Man Scho as he gritted his teeth and set out to subjugate it. From then on, I gradually compiled a strategy guide.

Above all, the Saintess lived in Yongsan, so I had to prepare thoroughly for the safety of one of my key companions.

Of course, the Saintess had no political leanings.

It would have been wrong to impose that sort of collective thinking on her in the first place.

But KCIA agents who had lived through the 1960s to the 1980s had a rather old-fashioned mindset for understanding the concept of a shut-in.

A suspicious individual who stayed home all day and was oddly obsessed with an external communications network (=the internet)? With no proper job, either? Obviously a spy, wasn’t she?

[“Last week, I was reading Kant on a walk. Then an anomaly in human form approached and asked, ‘Young lady, what’s the title of that book you’re reading?’”]

The Saintess had once aired her grievance in a rather angry voice.

[“It seemed to be a type of anomaly capable of conversation, so I answered. Kant’s <Critique of Pure Reason>.”]

[“But then it challenged me, asking whether the book I was reading was subversive literature.”]

[“Naturally, I argued back.”]

[“Marxism began as a materialist interpretation of Hegel’s philosophy, and Hegel and Kant remain opposing philosophical schools even in the modern era.”]

[“Furthermore, I support Schopenhauer’s philosophy. As is well known, Schopenhauer detested Hegel. How could I possibly side with Marxism?”]

[“But the KCIA agent did not understand my explanation at all.”]

[“It was a very, very backward anomaly.”]

“Hmm...”

To be honest, that explanation would have been difficult to understand even for someone who wasn’t an anomaly.

In any case, the Namsan goblins had nearly dragged the Saintess away several times. Had she not possessed some of the most absurdly overpowered abilities of all time, she might truly have been kidnapped.

Indeed, quite a few awakened and civilians had been “bewitched” by these anomalies.

Writing a strategy guide for everyone and posting it on SG Net was the natural next step.

-You there! You look suspicious. Open up that luggage you’re carrying.

“I am an American citizen.”

-What?

An American passport!

It was the simplest, most cost-effective method I had discovered after countless experiments.

However indiscriminately the Namsan anomalies might try to kidnap people, showing them a passport from the mighty USA abruptly made them docile, like officials confronted with an imperial certificate of immunity.

-Ah, well. My apologies, sir. There have been so many unfortunate incidents lately that our superiors have stepped up searches.

“Wow. Korea really is still the front line in the fight against communists. Very interesting.”

-Yes, yes. Take care, sir!

The anomalies that had fiercely hounded even Old Man Scho as a commie instantly transformed into friendly gentlemen.

That was the moment an American passport (forged) became an essential item for everyone on the Korean Peninsula.

People no longer panicked much even when a Namsan anomaly suddenly appeared nearby. They only had to show their passports and spout a few words of Konglish, and it would disappear on its own.

But that strategy was only a way to get safely past the Namsan anomalies.

To subjugate them outright, one needed a “slightly weightier item.”

-Stop!

Like me, walking toward Namsan right now.

-Who are you? Where did you come from?

-Take off your hat! This bastard’s suspicious.

-Where do you think you are, barging in here? Huh? Hey, asshole! Lift your head!

All I had tried to do was pass through the front gate, yet I was met with hysterical reactions.

From their perspective, however, that was only natural. Merely refraining from opening fire immediately meant the anomalies were fulfilling their professional duties.

I currently had a strapped hat pulled low over my head. I must have looked deeply suspicious even to them.

-Move and we shoot!

-Hands up! Put your hands up, asshole!

CLICK!

The anomalies aimed their guns at me.

I calmly raised both hands.

And just as the anomalies were about to sigh in relief—I unveiled what lay beneath my strapped hat.

-Huh...?

My head gleamed brightly.

Yes. This incident actually took place in my 592nd run.

The curse the Monkey’s Paw had left me by squeezing out the last of its magic.

The spell’s aftereffects persisted beyond run 591 into run 592.

After acute hair loss swept through my scalp, not a trace remained of the ape that might once have raced through a jungle, shrieking and howling.

Beholding my head, radiant as the sun, the anomalies murmured.

-Y-Your Excellency?

I solemnly lowered my voice.

“Company, at ease.”

-...!

The Namsan anomalies hastily put away their guns and saluted.

I stared at them steadily, as though even that displeased me.

Beads of sweat rolled down the sides of their heads.

“Keep up the good work.”

-Yes, Your Excellency!

The anomalies shouted enthusiastically, as though thanking me for passing them by without incident.

This was the true strategy.

If I was “bald” and carried exactly “290,000 won in banknotes,” I could roam the Namsan void with a free pass.

It seemed simple, but I had actually discovered it through an astonishing convergence of coincidences.

For starters, anyone carrying as much as 290,000 won in cash after civilization collapsed was exceedingly rare. The chances of that person happening to be me, and of me being bald while also approaching the Namsan void, were even lower.

Truly astronomical odds!

Moreover, repeated tests revealed that only two people could activate this strategy: Noh Doha and me.

I suspected it might require someone tacitly acknowledged as the “ruler of the Korean Peninsula.”

I headed deeper into the void as leisurely as if I were taking a stroll. Nobody could stop me.

[“So, Undertaker... you mean you’ve deliberately come to Namsan with exactly 290,000 won in cash before?”]

“That’s right.”

[“How on earth did that happen?”]

“Saintess. After slogging through roughly 590 regressions, you develop the habit of trying all sorts of things.”

[“How, on earth, did that happen?”]

True to her philosophical nature, the Saintess pursued endless inquiry. But since the real issue was changing the world, I pressed onward like a rhinoceros’s horn.

-Y-Your Excellency!

-Your Excellency!

“Keep up the good work.”

Namsan anomalies leaped out from all over the void, but each time, the sight of my beautiful head made them swear allegiance.

Now only this place’s final boss, the “Director of the Korean Central Intelligence Agency,” remained before me.

The KCIA director was an anomaly of considerable strength. Following the normal route, even my current self would have found subjugating him no easy task.

Above all, the KCIA, the Agency for National Security Planning, anticommunist interrogation centers, and more overlapped within this Namsan void. Naturally, their boss, the “KCIA director,” possessed powers that far surpassed actual history.

But it was meaningless.

-Aaaaaargh! Y-youuuu!

The moment the KCIA director saw my bald head, he melted into a soft mass, like meat in beef-bone soup.

Just as Africa’s grains of sand were Hannibal’s bane and Russia’s snowmen were Napoleon’s weakness, “baldness” was a weakness the KCIA director could never overcome.

It was a fine illustration of the truth that matchups always mattered when dealing with anomalies.

Yes, even baldness had at least one advantage in the end-of-days apocalypse.

[“The Namsan void, so easily...”]

“In today’s world, knowledge is power, Saintess.”

Amid the remains of the KCIA director, who had melted like slime, lay the item I had spent this entire episode searching for.

I bent down and picked up “that gun.”

The Korean Peninsula’s strongest Noble Phantasm.

A German-made Walther PPK pistol.

“Ahh.”

That cool, weighty sensation.

I couldn’t help smiling.

“What a relief. I’ve defeated this anomaly before, but back then I didn’t give the pistol a second glance. Being bewitched by Chekhov’s Gun would have been a problem.”

[“...”]

“But now I have a use for it.”

You have waited a long time.

At last, every condition was in place.

Run 135. Ever since the world was destroyed by the “Logout Game,” I had never once stopped pondering how to kill that God of Alienation.

The <Zero Requiem> project to bring Sim Aryeon’s ability into full bloom.

The method of using The Total Fortune System, established through experiments despite the risks.

And finally, the Walther PPK pistol, now proven obtainable here.

Every step in this process had been a regressor’s groundwork and search in the dark, all for the sole purpose of subjugating the God of Alienation.

Therefore, today there is no epilogue.

Comrades.

Now, we kill a god.

-Godslayer. End.