Chapter 158 - The Strategist X

"Ah, ah, ah... K҉R҉҉҉҉ZZT, ah..."

The [Operator of All Things at Play] looked bizarre.

For starters, the television static that was practically its trademark crackled over its entire body. Its voice stuttered like a broken AI. Even a Vocaloid song composed by a novice producer would have sounded masterful compared to the [Operator of All Things at Play] now.

"K҉R҉҉҉҉҉҉ZZT҉, ah, ah... Aaah..."

Anyone could see it had suffered a critical hit.

But all those peculiar features were mere ordinary ornaments compared to the God of Alienation’s actual appearance.

"Eek."

Oh Dokseo was the most bewildered of us. At a loss, she looked back and forth between the God of Alienation and me.

"A-a little girl...?"

Indeed.

The God of Alienation had taken the form of a girl with white hair wearing a white dress.

The sight of that white girl, constantly shrouded in static and spilling pitch-black liquid from her bullet wounds, was quite harrowing to anyone who had yet to lose their humanity.

"What... What’s going on, Mister? Oh. Did the God of Alienation deliberately take this form to make us feel sorry for it...?"

"No, this was planned."

I dropped the Walther PPK pistol.

The Godslayer could no longer do anything anyway. That Noble Phantasm’s role had only ever been to inflict a fatal wound.

Surprisingly few people knew this, but the gun that delivered the finishing blow to South Korea’s god had not been the Walther PPK. It had been another firearm. The PPK had misfired.

Even its absurd malfunction at the most crucial moment made the Walther PPK a perfect fit for [Chekhov’s Gun]. But this was where the Noble Phantasm’s role ended.

"While you were meditating under the waterfall, trying to feel your connection to the god, there were writers locked inside the hotel."

"Huh? Y-yeah. I know that, but..."

"At the time, I asked those writers to write works featuring the [Operator of All Things at Play]."

Yes.

To quote exactly what I had told the writers:

["All you need to do is write. Oh, right. When you write a new novel, please be sure to have a god appear in the opening. And make sure its name is the [Operator of All Things at Play]."]

["Let us out of here!"]

["Well then, keep up the good work, dear writers."]

And when I made that exceedingly polite request, I had actually added one more condition.

I had specifically asked them to describe the [Operator of All Things at Play] as the white girl now before our eyes.

As a result, once I had fatally wounded the [Operator of All Things at Play] and depleted all its strength, it had no choice but to transform into the shape humans had imposed upon it.

In short, I had collaborated with the writers to fix the God of Alienation’s appearance.

"But why? What’s so significant about that form? Isn’t that kind of sick?"

"Tsk, tsk, tsk. Bah, this is the trouble with young otaku these days. You just can’t talk to them."

"...?"

"Dokseo. That white girl is one of the very foundations of genre fiction on the Korean Peninsula, and the form of a god least harmful to the characters. Now that the [Operator of All Things at Play] has taken that form, it can no longer pose a threat to us."

"...???"

The moment I finished speaking, the static-covered white girl stretched out a delicate hand.

Then her lips moved.

"Ah, ah, ah, ■, ah."

"Ah, hello? Hello? Hello?"

"Hello? I’m God."

"Hello, I■ God?"

"Hello, I’m God?"

The God of Alienation kept repeating the same sentence like a broken cassette tape.

Oh Dokseo’s jaw dropped.

"Aaaaah? D-don’t tell me! Is this that thing I’ve only heard about...?"

"Yes. Allow me to introduce you to the [Hello, I’m God] Cliché."

This calls for a brief explanation.

These days, a protagonist’s reincarnation might involve an accidental traffic collision with a [Reincarnation Truck], or a deliberate collision triggered by [Posting Hate Comments], but long ago, a different Cliché was in fashion.

By “long ago,” I mean before either KakaoPage or Series existed.

Back then, aspiring writers all spent their turbulent, delusion-ridden adolescent years writing parodies of subculture works. Then a megahit crossed over from the Japanese archipelago to reach them.

Like the Beatles’ British Invasion, which conquered the American record market, that island hit bombarded the minds of the Korean Peninsula’s little otaku brats.

The bomber’s name was <Fate/stay night>.

Translated from that alien tongue into human language, it meant “the night where fate stays.”

Blessed by moonlight, the otaku went utterly wild and churned out parody after parody. It was one killer moon.

And among the characters of <Fate/stay night> was a white girl with white hair—

Parody writers made this white girl a proxy for God and invariably had her appear in the prologue.

For example, the prologue would begin with the protagonist dying an unfortunate death. Then they would suddenly open their eyes and realize they were in a vast, pure-white space.

["W-where am I? I’m sure I just died..."]

["Hello? You’re already dead. Sorry you died by mistake, so I’ll grant you one wish and let you be reborn in a new world."]

["No way! Wait, who are you to be telling me this?"]

["Me? I’m... Let’s see. To put it figuratively in your human language... Shall we say 『the World』?"]

["The... World...?"]

["Yes. Hello? I’m 『the World』."]

Indeed.

Originally, it was not “God” but 『the World』.

The crucial point here was that you had to emphasize the god’s dignity with those majestic double corner brackets (『』), never some feeble single quotation marks (‘’).

Anyway.

As parodies like these poured down like summer monsoon rains, the Cliché of “a god in the form of a white girl” gradually began appearing even in otherwise perfectly normal works.

By this point, the white girl had lost her original name, 『the World』, and firmly established her identity as “God.”

A girl god who appeared in the prologue to send the protagonist to another world—reincarnation—or turn back time to let them live again—regression.

Such is the historical origin of the white girl who says, “Hello? I’m God.”

You could call it a literary origin, too. Fate is literature, after all.

"Well, of course, Fate/stay night wasn’t the sole origin. The character called ‘Truth’ in Fullmetal Alchemist served the same role. You can see that in Japanese ASCII-art stories. Still, it’s fairer to say the divine form of the ‘white girl’ itself originated with Fate/stay night..."

"No, I didn’t want any of that fucking trivia."

After hearing my flawless explanation, Oh Dokseo had the audacity to look incredulous.

"Besides, you said you got into subculture around run 555. You started later than me, and only because of me. So how do you know all this ancient stuff from the nineties?"

"Now, now. It was the two-thousands, not the nineties. And I devoted runs 555, 556, and 557 to subculture alone. Naturally, I restored and read all the old materials, and even cracked every private practice piece locked away in all those online communities."

"Holy shit, now I see it’s not just Romance of the Three Kingdoms. You’re a complete disaster across the board. What kind of monster did the me from a past run unleash on this fandom...?"

That was when someone beside us cleared her throat.

The Saintess was watching us with an expressionless face.

"Regardless of its origin, you mean that the form the [Operator of All Things at Play] has now assumed is the least harmful form of a god, correct?"

"Yes. That’s correct."

"Then I think it’s time to deliver the finishing blow," the Saintess said calmly.

"The final strike that will end this speedrun stream."

Indeed it was.

"Dokseo."

"Uh, yeah?"

"Take out the laptop and turn it on."

"..."

Oh Dokseo rummaged through her backpack and pulled out the laptop. It was the very anomalous object the [Operator of All Things at Play] had left behind earlier.

On its pure-white desktop, in a white Notepad file, the same question and answer as before were inscribed.

[ W h a t I s T h i s W o r l d ? ]

[ This world is a ‘speedrun’ gameplay stream. ]

A battle for the authority to interpret the world.

We had won that battle. We had not surrendered the world to some mere God of Alienation.

I placed a hand on Dokseo’s shoulder.

"In the [Hello, I’m God] Cliché, the god must grant a human at least one wish."

"..."

"Tell that God of Alienation, [My wish is for you to acknowledge this answer as well]. You’re its shrine maiden, Dokseo, so you can impose your own interpretation on the god."

KRZZZZT!

The static clinging to the God of Alienation’s body grew a little worse. I could sense it desperately trying to maintain its existence.

It reached out and grasped the tip of Oh Dokseo’s foot. Then it parted its lips as if petitioning her.

"Dan, ger. Warning."

"The being known as Undertaker is dangerous."

Those were the words it uttered.

Both Oh Dokseo and the Saintess hesitated.

In that brief breath of hesitation, the God of Alienation murmured.

"Undertaker is a regressor."

"A regressor is an absolute being. No one except the regressor can perceive that this world is repeating. Thus, the regressor grows into the master of time and causality."

"Undertaker is exterminating, one by one, the beings capable of recognizing his regressions—the entities known as ‘Gods of Alienation.’"

"In order to monopolize time entirely for himself."

"..."

"If this entity is sealed as well, there will be one fewer entity capable of interfering with Undertaker’s regressions, even minimally."

"Granting a regressor absolute dominion over time. Question. Is that truly the correct choice for humanity?"

"This entity is not the target that must be subjugated. Undertaker is. This entity is an ally."

"On the contrary, this entity sought to inform humanity, through the entity named Oh Dokseo, of the existence of a regressor called Undertaker."

"Undertaker designates this entity an anomaly. Counterquestion. Is Undertaker himself not the most dangerous anomaly of all?"

"..."

"A ‘regressor’ is, by nature, a Cliché primarily found in works of fiction. This entity alone can stand in the way of the regressor called Undertaker."

"Warning. If even this entity is sealed, humanity will have no hope remaining. The regressor will escape the net of fiction and exist alone."

"Oh Dokseo."

"You must subjugate the regressor and become the protagonist yourself."

Silence settled over the white space.

The gravity of that silence emanated chiefly from the Saintess. We had simply never bothered to discuss it, but I watched her and she watched me, each serving as the other’s overseer.

So that if either of us fell into corruption, the other could execute them immediately.

The God of Alienation was merely trying to agitate us, to shake our relationship however it could. But like all propaganda, its words contained about ten percent truth.

Nevertheless.

I offered neither excuses nor arguments in my defense. I simply waited for Oh Dokseo’s response.

I would never abandon my trust in her at this point, and Dokseo would never doubt me either. If another being’s words could shake it, it was neither faith nor friendship.

"... Mister."

"Mm."

"I’m just asking to be sure, but about sealing that God of Alienation. There’s no reason we absolutely have to stick to the ‘speedrun gameplay stream’ format, right?"

That was what she said.

I blinked and tilted my head.

"Well. Of course, if you have a better method, I’m perfectly fine with that..."

"Yeah."

Oh Dokseo sat down and placed the laptop on her knees.

TAP-TAP-TAP.

Her fingers moved like those of a lively pianist.

"In that case, yes. I think this is much better than a speedrun stream."

Oh Dokseo turned the laptop around to show us.

Her revised answer was inscribed in large letters on the white screen.

That answer was:

[ W h a t I s T h i s W o r l d ? ]