Chapter 169 - Diver I

1

Breaking news.

Lee Hayul was sulking.

"..."

The reason was simple. I had left her behind on a trip to the Uyuni Salt Flats, the very first wish on Lee Hayul’s bucket list (length: nine pages of A4 paper).

Lee Hayul was furious. And the way this little brat expressed her fury was positively infantile.

Namely, she had activated her “As of today, I’ve decided I’m not just unable to speak—I can’t hear, either” routine.

"Hayul."

"..."

She whipped her head to the left.

"Hayul. I said I’m sorry, didn’t I?"

"..."

She whipped her head to the right.

Every time I tried to meet her eyes, she turned her head away. She was so spectacularly good at it that our lines of sight remained perfectly parallel, like the legs of an Olympic synchronized swimmer.

'Ah.'

I’d known this would happen. That was why, when I left for Uyuni and Hayul asked, ["Big brother, so where are you going?"] I’d fudged my answer: ["Huh? Uh? Well, you know, I’ll find somewhere nice."]

I’d expected to return within a week at the latest.

At heart, Lee Hayul followed the Choe Yeong school of thought, regarding other people as no more valuable than stones. A week-long disappearance wouldn’t bother her much.

Or it shouldn’t have.

As revealed in the previous episode, I’d been thoroughly scammed by an airline booking. My itinerary had ballooned from one week to three months.

Even the nature of the trip had changed. We spent only two days enjoying our original destination, the Uyuni desert. The remaining eighty-seven were an educational field trip entitled “How Did Homo Sapiens Sail Across the Pacific All the Way to Hawaii? Amazing, Isn’t It? Let’s Find Out for Ourselves!”

There was nowhere I could even lodge a complaint. Just like humans, anomalies had precious little room in their conceptual vocabulary for “refund,” “fair compensation,” or “a properly written apology.” It was always decent customers like me who were left footing the entire bill.

["Go fucking die..."]

["Big brother. So where have you been?"]

After nearly dying to make it back to the Korean Peninsula, all I received by way of welcome was Noh Doha’s Strangulation and Hayul’s icy gaze.

An explanation was unavoidable.

The result was the present situation.

The world wasn’t some dating sim where affection stayed maxed out once you filled the meter. When Lee Hayul realized I’d gone to the Uyuni desert and left her alone out of the trip, she began recalibrating her affection score.

"Hayul? Won’t you talk to your big brother?"

Lee Hayul pretended not to notice me.

"Something’s weird. I keep smelling some middle-aged guy around here."

My sensitive, middle-aged heart suffered a tremendous shock. I nearly went into cardiac arrest.

'Is this how a father feels when his child hits their rebellious phase?!'

I’d thought it was an emotion I’d never experience as a regressor. Who knew I would encounter it this way?

I barely managed to speak.

"... Let’s go to the Uyuni desert together later."

Lee Hayul whipped her head around. For the first time in three whole days, our eyes met. The jaw joint of the housekeeper doll she always brought along suddenly loosened up.

"Later? When?"

"After summer’s over. This fall."

"Really?"

"Really. While we’re there, let’s stop by Machu Picchu and head all the way up to Tenochtitlan. Make it an Americas travel special."

"Big brother, love you!"

The touch of false love wrapped around my shoulders. I shuddered. How humiliating.

"... But in return, you have to be a real help preparing for this year’s Great Monsoon. Follow your guild leader’s instructions without any complaining. Understood?"

"Yep!"

By now, my body was liable to go into convulsions at the mere first syllable of “travel,” but I had no choice. Lee Hayul’s help was essential if we were to get safely through the disaster event that occurred every year.

The event’s name was “Monsoon.”

Yes.

That great catastrophe that filled everyone on the Korean Peninsula with fear and terror on an unconscious level. Summer’s big event was approaching.

2

Some of you may have found it strange that, despite all the stories I’ve told so far, I’ve rarely brought up the weather.

A very astute observation.

In fact, even without anomalies descending upon us, Earth had already been experiencing an apocalypse in real time.

All because of the weather.

The polar bears drifting down from the Arctic Ocean every year on little boats of ice, sobbing their hearts out, were proof.

Climate Apocalypse.

The hypothesis that, quite literally, climate change might bring about the end of the world.

It was already being treated as a grave possibility, but anomalies took it a step further.

-The weather in Daegu is seriously insane. How is it forty-two degrees, even in summer? Is this a desert or a city?

-Maybe it really was a desert all along?

-What.

Daegu became a desert.

No exaggeration whatsoever. Actual desertification simply took place.

And it wasn’t just Daegu. North Korea’s Kaema Plateau became a paradise for polar bears that had migrated from Siberia. The tigers of the Baekdudaegan range, which had spectacularly announced their revival as anomalies called Mountain Lords, now had some formidable competition.

The Korean Peninsula had it easy by comparison. Right next door, the Japanese archipelago received relentless visits from “earthquakes” every season.

And these weren’t ordinary earthquakes, either. Every one was a Continent-class anomaly called the “Great Tokai Earthquake,” with all manner of earthquake-related anomalies appearing in a tangled mass.

I don’t respect the archipelago’s magical girls for nothing.

Given these circumstances, the areas where humanity could live were inevitably extremely limited. In a sense, you could reasonably say that “climate anomalies” posed the greatest threat to the survival of Homo sapiens.

So what local climate specialty did Busan—the Korean Peninsula’s new capital, its only hope, its last Utopia—have to offer—

"The monsoon will hit us soon."

"..."

"..."

Tension hung over the conference room. Only a handful of people had gathered here, in the heart of the National Road Management Corps.

But considering who they were, it would be no exaggeration to call this the heart of Busan—no, the heart of the Korean Peninsula.

Noh Doha, commander of the National Road Management Corps. Yu Jiwon, chief of the Operations Control Room. Dang Seorin, leader of the Guild Alliance. Seo Gyu, operator of SG Net. Sim Aryeon, Saintess of the Holy State of the East. And so on.

"This monsoon will be unprecedented. Unless we prepare thoroughly, the Korean Peninsula could evaporate during the rainy season."

"Don’t you scare us with ‘unprecedented’ this and ‘unprecedented’ that every time? I don’t see what’s specifically different..."

"I saw it firsthand while crossing the Pacific this time. Supermassive typhoons are forming in the western North Pacific."

Dang Seorin flinched. Her face darkened abruptly, and her hands trembled. That trip had left both of us traumatized in more ways than one.

"Take a look at this."

I brought up my PowerPoint presentation. It was a photograph I’d stubbornly taken with the Paranormal Camera even while crossing the Pacific in a tiny boat.

LatestMonsoonUpdate.jpeg showed a “typhoon.” At the sight of this photographic evidence, Noh Doha’s brow furrowed sharply.

"What the hell is that...?"

"A typhoon."

"Fuck, that’s seawater spinning into a waterspout, not wind. You’re calling that a typhoon...?"

"Don’t expect common sense from an anomaly."

Indeed. The typhoon that had formed this summer measured a staggering 1,200 kilometers across.

And every bit of it was made of water.

I don’t know who first praised water as the mother of life, but seeing that typhoon would change their mind. Water kills people.

"The other regions should be fine if they take the same precautions they do every year, but Busan is another story. If that typhoon hits us directly, the entire city will become Atlantis. We need to come up with countermeasures at once."

"Let’s run..."

A shocking announcement! Commander of the National Road Management Corps proposes abandoning the capital!

Noh Doha, too, had been infected by “Capitals Exist to Be Abandoned,” an anomaly no ruler of the Korean Peninsula could escape.

I shook my head at Noh Doha, who looked ready to inherit the Joseon royal family’s signature move at any moment.

"We mustn’t run, Commander."

"Then you want us to withstand that? How? By what means? I’d rather get hit by a tsunami. The moment that thing makes landfall, it’ll push the coastline all the way back to Daegu...! Our best option is to evacuate every Busan citizen into the Inunaki Tunnel and flee to Seoul en masse..."

I gave her a pitying look.

"Commander. We can’t escape the monsoon typhoon. The moment Busan escapes unscathed, the typhoon will inevitably make landfall at another city."

"Huh? What the hell is that supposed to...?"

"This isn’t a natural phenomenon. It’s an anomalous one. It’s impossible for the Korean Peninsula to get through the monsoon without suffering damage. The anomaly will keep coming, and the summer rainy season will continue, until it causes damage. Someone has to bear the brunt of that 1,200-kilometer-wide water bomb."

"..."

"Is there any city as well maintained as Busan? Any region with as much power concentrated in it? Ultimately, having us stop it is the most efficient option. Otherwise, half the cities on the Korean Peninsula will be wiped out."

"Fuck..."

Noh Doha shuddered at the anomaly’s cruelty. With the supreme authority in a foul mood, the atmosphere in the conference room naturally plummeted.

Only Sim Aryeon, who would have mistaken ‘reading the room’ for something you served in a dog bowl, tentatively raised her hand.

"U-um, Guild Leader?"

"Go ahead."

"Well, I don’t think the typhoon’s damage will reach the Holy City of Pyongyang. It doesn’t really seem to have anything to do with my jurisdiction. Could I head back now...?"

"For the record, a Great Monsoon on this scale will knock out SG Net, too."

"What? F-for how long?"

"Let’s see. At least a fortnight? Whenever it rains too much, an anomaly that destabilizes internet communications always tags along."

"The Holy State of the East will mobilize all its resources to aid our brother comrades in Busan!"

Sim Aryeon clasped my hand tightly in both of hers. Her gaze was more serious and soulful than any I’d ever seen from her.

Honestly, she looked even more wistful than when she’d said, ["I really love the café mocha you make for me, Guild Leader."]

"Haa..."

Noh Doha scratched hard at the back of her head.

"Commander. Sighing drives your good fortune away."

"Bullshit. Enough of that stale old-man nonsense. So how do we stop that monstrous water bomb? You did come up with a plan before calling this meeting, didn’t you...?"

"Of course. Everyone, please look here."

Confidently, I advanced to the next slide. In a font brimming with youthful flair, it read:

[Great Monsoon Flood Damage Prevention Plan]

[STEP.1]

[Project: Rename Noh Doha!]

Silence settled over the conference room.

"... Huh?"

Only after a long while did Noh Doha respond.

"Rename me? What the hell do you mean, rename me...?"

"Commander Noh Doha. Having to change the precious name your parents gave you may cause you considerable grief. But when dealing with anomalies, names matter above all else. Commander, for the safety of Busan’s innocent citizens, please change your name, even if only for this summer."

"No. I’m asking what the three syllables of my name have to do with Busan’s fucking safety...?"

"From now on, your name is no longer Noh Doha."

I looked solemnly at the supreme authority of the Three Hans.

"From now on, you are ‘Noah.’"

"...?"

"What are you doing, Noah? Shouldn’t you be off building an ark?"

"You son of a—"

Project Noah’s Ark: commence!

3

The “Noah’s Ark” that appears in the Bible boasts some incredible specs.

But it wasn’t the ark that interested me. It was Noah himself. My theory was that he must have been an ancient archmage.

First of all, Noah stored every plant and animal on Earth inside a vessel only 135 meters long. Those animals naturally included blue whales and all sorts of fish. Proof that the world’s largest supermassive aquarium had been installed inside the ark.

In other words, Noah’s Ark must have been enchanted with “My Inventory Is Infinite” magic.

What’s more, this infinite pocket dimension was made entirely of wood. Noah was a man of the Bronze Age, after all.

The fact that this was a feat beyond even modern engineering was utterly irrelevant. Science advances as time passes, but magic grows stronger the further back into antiquity you go.

Noah, the ancient archmage, had simply been able to cast magic that strengthened wood to the level of steel.

Unfortunately, our modern Noah (formerly Noh Doha), making a second coming on the Korean Peninsula, possessed absolutely no magical talent.

Instead, there was another archmage to serve as Noah’s magic wand.

"Ah—aaaah—ah—"

Dang Seorin. The awakened with an unprecedented gift for magic sang atop Geumjeongsan, Busan’s highest mountain.

CRRRACK, CREAK, CRACK!

And wouldn’t you know it? Moved by the quality of the outdoor concert, the trees exposed their own roots and gathered on Geumjeongsan’s smooth ridge.

Yes. I hadn’t mentioned it often in my stories, but Dang Seorin’s Spell-Song Chanting magic shone in support work like this, too. She hadn’t built the Giant Potato-Saintess-Robot Statue in another run for nothing.

Wearing a helmet labeled “Safety+First,” I smiled in satisfaction.

"The ark’s construction is going smoothly."

"..."

"Now, Commander Noh Do... No, Commander Noah. I’m counting on you. Please step forward and kneel."

Along with Dang Seorin, the construction site on Geumjeongsan’s ridge hosted me, Noah, Sim Aryeon, and Lee Hayul.

And one more surprising guest had joined us.

An indispensable role in the play that was building the ark. The actor playing “God,” every bit as important as Noah.

None other than Mo Gwangseo Jesus Christ.

"Hayul, ready?"

"Yep."

"Good. Then... Noah, what are you doing? Hurry up and kneel before Mo Gwangseo Christ. Oh, prostrating yourself is fine, too."

"..."

In a rare display, Noh Doha’s lips twitched. A nameplate reading “Noah” hung on her chest.

"Do I really, truly have to do this shit, Awakened Undertaker...?"

"You do."

My answer was firm.

"We’re trying to harness Genesis, the most powerful myth on Earth. We have to get the bare essentials right for ‘Noah’s Ark’ to exert its power."

"..."

"Will you get on with it?"

With an expression that cursed the entire world, Noh Doha knelt. Mo Gwangseo looked down at her, wearing his endlessly benevolent smile as always.

Of course, Mo Gwangseo possessed no free will whatsoever. Every movement and line was controlled by Lee Hayul, the Puppeteer.

Mo Gwangseo (feat. Lee Hayul) spoke.

"The corruption of all living beings has spread across the earth, and their final day has come before me. Now I shall utterly destroy all living beings along with the earth."

"..."

"Noah. Therefore, build an ark."

With her lips twitching and quivering, her tongue trembling, and her teeth grinding, Noah murmured quietly.

"Yeees..."

God commanded, and Noah obeyed.

A perfect reenactment of the divine decree in Genesis!

There was the minor error of the actor playing God also playing God’s son, but that didn’t matter. Anomalies weren’t quite that strict about authenticity.

Now, at last, Noh Doha was a genuine, fully legitimate Noah.

Every vessel whose construction she participated in from this point forward would fulfill the role of an “ark.”

"Fuck, this goddamn world..."

The actor playing Noah also had a rather foul mouth for humanity’s savior, but that didn’t matter, either.

"You regressor bastard. This is revenge for me giving you shit about disappearing for three months last time, isn’t it...?"

An absurd slander. Where would you find another regressor who kept public duty and private feelings as rigorously separate as I did?

I gazed wistfully at the sea off Busan.

July. An SSS-class Great Monsoon was moving north toward the Korean Peninsula.

It was summer.