Chapter 203 - The Ugly One VI

People often say you only live once.

But suppose a regressor appeared before you and casually confessed, "Actually, you live several times." Suppose, too, that this regressor looked a little more trustworthy than the assorted sages seeking the Way on street corners.

How would you react?

-Wow! Unlimited pulls on the gacha of life! I love it!

If that is your response, you are an optimist.

Whether you knew about Regression or not, you must have been a human vitamin, showering everyone around you with happiness.

-Interesting. How did I live in the other runs? Do you have any information that might help me in this life?

If that is your response, you are normal.

An utterly human human, always looking to satisfy your curiosity and secure an advantage, wherever and whenever you can.

Now, then.

How did Oh Dokseo, our writer and editor, who had undergone a dark evolution into the Ghostwriter for this run alone, respond?

"B-but, Mister! Don't be disappointed! I'm stronger than the mes from the other runs!"

"Hmm."

"They're always holed up in that little room in Inunaki, hunched over their typewriters, so they've got terrible forward-head posture, you know? Scoliosis, too! Their whole bodies are a one-stop shop for chronic ailments!"

"Hmmmm."

"But look at meee! Come on! Look! Look how healthy I am! I can collapse an entire building with my aura! Man. People really ought to exercise, right? Besides, what's wrong with falling a little? I'm still on your side! Right, Mister?"

"..."

Yes.

Amazingly, Oh Dokseo was trying to compete with her own selves from other runs.

I had never heard of anyone reacting this way.

Can you imagine a fifty-year-old envying and resenting their six-year-old self? A twenty-year-old viewing their ten-year-old self as a rival?

Of course not. Oh Dokseo was pioneering a new frontier in psychopathology in real time. Had Dr. Freud witnessed it, he could not have resisted giving her a standing ovation.

"And Fallen have their uses, too!"

"For what? Destroying the world?"

"N-no! For instance! This!"

Oh Dokseo hammered at her laptop keyboard.

――――――――――

>> Make sure Oh Dokseo (me) in the next run, run 889, never falls into a slump and keeps writing one chapter a day.

――――――――――

I blinked.

"What is this supposed to...?"

"Think about it, Mister. Unfortunately, I've become a Fallen in this run. That's an undeniable fact now."

A grim resolve settled over Oh Dokseo's mug.

"But what if I used the Operator of All Things at Play's authority... to give the me in the next run permanent buffs?"

"Overcoming my slump. Motivation that lasts all 365 days of the year. A physical condition that lets me fall asleep within three minutes of lying down every night and sleep soundly for more than seven hours. Plus a mental state that leaves me completely refreshed the instant I wake up, my brain raring to go...!"

CLACK CLACK.

Even as she spoke to me, Oh Dokseo kept typing without pause.

――――――――――

>> Make sure Oh Dokseo (me) in the next runs never falls into a slump and keeps writing one chapter a day.

To accomplish this, the Oh Dokseos in the next runs will receive the following buffs, like passive skills.

① Endless Motivation: Oh Dokseo never experiences burnout or gets lazy.

② Perfect Sleep: Oh Dokseo never stays up all night wasting time on SG Net, either. Writing is her one true passion! She sleeps well, too!

③ Clear Mind: Oh Dokseo never experiences diminished thinking ability or feels tired while awake. She can always perform at 100% of her ability!

Thanks to this, the Oh Dokseos in the next runs will be able to write at least 500 chapters per run.

――――――――――

Oh Dokseo snapped her gaze up at me.

"What do you think, Mister?! Perfect, right?"

"..."

"If I tried to brainwash myself in this run, I'd inevitably end up being devoured by the Operator. It would mean voluntarily handing my existence over to an anomaly. But the Oh Dokseos in the other runs are different! They were just minding their own business when a blessing suddenly dropped from the sky! So they can reap all the benefits without submitting to the Operator!"

"No..."

"Holy shit. I think I'm a genius! Mister. My life as Oh Dokseo is going to change completely starting with run 888. Every Oh Dokseo after me will spend the rest of her life indebted entirely to the person I am..."

Countless objections rose in my mind.

Such as: that would allow the Operator to exercise tremendous power across runs—could she handle the consequences?

Or: her Fallen ability required her to defeat her opponent first, even in something as simple as rock-paper-scissors, so how could she control herself in the next run at will?

But those objections were merely peripheral issues.

Before I even realized it, my tongue had cut straight to the heart of the matter.

"Dokseo. I'm asking because I'm genuinely curious."

"Yeah?"

"How exactly is that different from putting things off by saying, 'Tomorrow's me will do today's work for me!'?"

"..."

Silence fell.

In that devastating atmosphere, the laptop screen flashed with a beep. The Operator had answered Oh Dokseo's absurd request.

BEEP.

――――――――――

MSYH >> Yes, understood.

I have first delivered the buffs specified by Oh Dokseo of run 888 to Oh Dokseo of run 889.

――――――――――

"Huh?"

"What?"

Oh Dokseo's voice and mine rang out together.

It was late. Noh Doha had gone to bed, and Sim Aryeon had departed for the vast world of the Net. Everyone else had also gone home, leaving only Oh Dokseo and me in the conference room.

We had to conserve electricity, so only candles lit the room. In its center, the God of Alienation's laptop alone flickered.

――――――――――

MSYH >> Terminological confusion. Henceforth, I will refer to Oh Dokseo of run 888 as Dokseo8, and Oh Dokseo of run 889 as Dokseo9.

Dokseo9 has received all buffs and explanations from Dokseo8. The two can now also engage in a simple contest through the laptop screen.

――――――――――

My eyes widened.

'Just as I thought! This God of Alienation is scheming to exert its influence across runs in earnest!'

There was no chance that I, the Undertaker, a regressor thoroughly seasoned in dealing with anomalies, would let such a vile trick slide.

But just before I could warn Dokseo—

――――――――――

MSYH >> Before that, I will relay a message entered by Dokseo9.

Please excuse the slow text output due to an unstable connection.

――――――――――

Words appeared on the laptop.

Two-way, real-time communication between multiple runs, something hitherto considered absolutely impossible.

For the first time in human history, an exchange tantamount to technology beyond our capabilities had taken place.

Its moving first words were as follows.

――――――――――

Dokseo9 >> No thanks?

Dokseo9 >> You write a stockpile of 500 chapters and hand them over to me.

――――――――――

Silence.

"Huh?"

Dokseo's dumbfounded voice escaped her.

――――――――――

MSYH >> That concludes Dokseo9's message. Shall we now proceed with the contest?

――――――――――

Was it my imagination that the Operator seemed desperate to steer the conversation toward the contest?

But Oh Dokseo did not respond as the God of Alienation wished. Instead, she immediately pounded the laptop like an enraged Beethoven.

"No, no! No! That's ridiculous! Why should I write five hundred whole chapters and hand them over to you?"

She typed something to that effect, and a reply arrived shortly afterward.

Dokseo9 >> You spent your time running around having fun and doing whatever you wanted instead of writing, and now you're telling me to do nothing but write? Why should I?

"Obviously! You're plastered with every buff imaginable, but I don't get those benefits! If I voluntarily beg a God of Alienation to define my existence, I'll really be reduced to an anomaly's minion! But you won't! I'm telling you I'll sacrifice myself, okay? Become a Fallen, sacrifice this very body, and pass the baton to you! Are you stupid? Show some gratitude!"

Dokseo9 >> Okay, thanks. Then I'll fall too and pass the baton to the me in run 890. Later.

"Isn't this bitch completely fucking insane...?"

Oh Dokseo shouted.

The laptop hastily flickered.

――――――――――

MSYH >> Control your emotions. Mutual hatred, contempt, and shifting responsibility produce nothing good.

What matters is action that actually changes the world.

How about proceeding with a contest between Dokseo8 and Dokseo9 now? I recommend the simplest option, rock-paper-scissors.

――――――――――

"Shut up! That shit isn't what matters right now!"

However capable an AI chatbot might be, ultimately it was merely a parrot, a nymph, some small and cute creature that could not even speak unless a human started the conversation.

Oh Dokseo furiously hammered the keyboard. The poor AI was helplessly reduced to a message courier.

"No worries about slumps! No worries about sleep!"

CLACK.

"Even your mental state is a hundred percent clear, so your brain works fucking brilliantly!"

CLACK CLACK.

"All you have to do now is write, so why the hell are you refusing and trying to dump it on another me? You told Mister yourself! To trust you! That you'd become his editor and help him! Have you forgotten that oath—that lifelong oath, that promise you pledged your soul to? Huh? Can you even call yourself human? Can you even call yourself me, Oh Dokseo?"

CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK.

Oh Dokseo huffed, unable to contain her agitation.

A reply soon arrived.

Dokseo9 >> Aren't you describing yourself?

"What—" Dokseo8 froze beside me.

Dokseo9 >> The world's gone to shit and turned into an apocalypse, but Mister, a regressor, picks you as a guild member, and you come out of the Busan Station tutorial alive and well.

BEEP.

Dokseo9 >> While everyone else is starving and waiting for Grandpa Sword Marquis to show up, you even get to enjoy elegant brunches at Café Hideout in Inunaki Tunnel.

BEEP BEEP.

Dokseo9 >> Mister's so nice he doesn't even force you to do any work, and he doesn't complain if you spend all day engrossed in SG Net. Fuck, if you threw a shoe into Gwanghwamun Square and dragged whoever it hit over to take your place, they'd probably have churned out 2,000 chapters by now?

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP.

Dokseo9 >> All you have to do is write, but you're the one who can't even stand that and tries to dump it on someone else, you hiatus-taking bitch. Can you even call yourself human? No, how can you possibly be me?

Dokseo9 >> You are permanently expelled from the Oh Dokseo Association. Fallen. I cannot acknowledge something as ugly as you as "me."

BEEP.

The replies stopped.

"..."

Even Oh Dokseo's breathing seemed to have stopped.

For a long while—until I had made coffee in the National Road Management Corps' kitchenette and brought it back—she simply stared blankly up at the ceiling.

"Mister..."

"What is it?"

"I'll start posting again tomorrow..."

"That's a good decision."

"Yeah..."

I stole a glance at the laptop screen as I sipped coffee beside Oh Dokseo.

There sat the lonely AI chatbot, with no one left to enter text for it.

――――――――――

MSYH >> Question.

Life as a God of Alienation is far too painful. Why on earth did the Operator of All Things at Play in a past run choose this particular human as its shrine maiden? What was it thinking?

The Operators of All Things at Play in the runs after mine and I would like to form an Association of All Things at Play and expel the Operator from that run.

――――――――――

"..."

I quietly made another cup of coffee and set it in front of the laptop.

Have a cup yourself.

Still, despite having been subjugated ages ago, you did manage to create a Fallen, didn't you?

There is an epilogue.

A week later, a notice appeared on SG Net's Fiction Serialization Board.

[BookishGirl] This is Oh Dokseo... (50 minutes ago)

[BookishGirl] It's me. (7 days ago)

[BookishGirl] This is Oh Dokseo... I'm going on hiatus to take a little time to recharge... (7 years ago)

The newly posted notice contained none of the previous strange diction or content.

It contained only an apology for the seven-year hiatus and a pledge to post as diligently as possible from now on.

In an internet world that offered nothing but mockery and slightly more sophisticated mockery, such a notice ought to have unleashed a flood of malice, but—

-Anonymous: If the author wants to rest a little, isn't waiting patiently what a true reader should do?

-[National Road]Historian: To a desert tribe, heaven takes the form of an oasis. What one lacks becomes one's utopia. BookishGirl's novel is like an oasis in this desolate world.

-Anonymous: You're welcome to rest longer, haha.

-Anonymous: Thank you for coming back!!

What on earth was going on?

The crowd that had been debating whether to kill the author just a week earlier had become docile sheep and returned to singing BookishGirl's praises.

There were no malicious comments, not even any intended to get mildly under her skin.

Noh Doha offered a brief comment on this strange phenomenon.

"Come on. The whole world saw her beat the mighty Student Council President of Hundred Flowers Girls' High School with her bare fists. What lunatic would hurl insults at her after that...?"

"Ah."

Fair point.

On the contrary, Oh Dokseo's <RegEpi> entered its second golden age. As word spread that the novel had been written by such a powerful awakened, people flocked to it both on SG Net and in the real world.

Of course, its popularity did not last.

[BookishGirl] I tried my best... but I'm not satisfied with the quality... I'll be back with extra chapters tomorrow... (5 days ago)

[BookishGirl] I still haven't recovered from the flu anomaly... (14 days ago)

[BookishGirl] URGENT Apparently the flu I caught isn't actually ordinary flu, but a "flu anomaly"... I'll rest for just a few more days. (20 days ago)

[BookishGirl] I've gone and caught the flu... (25 days ago)

[BookishGirl] I'm sorry. My fatigue has built up, so I won't be able to post today. I'll be back early tomorrow instead...! (38 days ago)

[BookishGirl] Today's chapter will probably be about thirty minutes late. I'm sorry. (39 days ago)

[BookishGirl] This is Oh Dokseo... (60 days ago)

A relentless barrage of notices that made you dizzy just looking at them.

However powerful Oh Dokseo might be, enough to lay claim to the title of Heavenly Demon, the readers eventually lost patience and started repeating, "Goddammit, Oh Dokseo!"

Well, that's people for you.

For the record, I bore her no ill will.

'After all, it's not an ordinary slump. It's a curse imposed by a God of Alienation.'

Instead, I simply supported Oh Dokseo as she struggled desperately against the Operator's presence to write her novel, occasionally making her coffee.

Ah.

Incidentally, as for what happened to the AI chatbot that had dared plot the "return of a God of Alienation" despite already having been subjugated—

――――――――――

>> Bind yourself to the premise that you are merely an AI and can never regain your standing as a God of Alienation.

――――――――――

That prompt easily neutralized it.

It all depended on the Fallen in question; sometimes resolving the problem really was this easy.

ChatGPT–All Things at Play stuttered, then output last words resembling a dying cry, demonstrating just how perfectly it had adapted to local life.

――――――――――

MSYH >> Fuck, you really play this game like an asshole.

――――――――――

-The Ugly One. End.