Chapter 69 - The Chronicler I

1

It suddenly occurs to me that I’ve been talking about Dang Seorin far too often lately.

Of course, I can’t tell the story of my life as a regressor without her. But even the Korean Peninsula’s greatest success story, the Great Witch of the Railways, everyone’s idol, is entitled to a private life.

Yes. A private life.

I’m not the sort to go out of my way to pry into someone else’s secrets, nor am I inclined to interfere with their hobbies.

Even if that “someone” happens to be a mentally deranged, split-personality, vicious, stammering keyboard warrior.

“Oh. G-Guild Leader... G-good morning...”

Sim Aryeon.

Nickname: the Goryeojang Villain, counted among SG Net’s most notorious trolls.

Yet in run fifty, she treated ordinary people for free and was praised as the [Angel of Healing]. She even volunteered as an art teacher, school nurse, and librarian for elementary school children.

Fashion style: favors brown tops. Usually wears a white doctor’s coat over a brown turtleneck. Why? Presumably she wants to advertise that she’s a healer whose services command a high price.

That alone paints a pretty bizarre portrait, but her awakened skill was even more unhinged.

Ability: commonly called the Grudge Bomb. Or, to put it another way, the Bird That Drinks Aggro. The more shit people gave her, the stronger her healing became. This ridiculous ability was why Sim Aryeon practically lived on SG Net, stirring up every kind of trouble imaginable.

Sim Aryeon could truly be called the Anubis of the Korean Peninsula... but when it came to her private life, her hobbies were quite wholesome.

“Yes, good morning. Heading somewhere this early?”

“I-I thought I might paint for the first time in a while. Hehe. Since you gave me that easel last time...”

She smiled awkwardly, a canvas and easel tucked under her arm.

Hobby: painting.

Yes. She was actually an art student. Readers with good memories may recall that she was painting when I raided the Goryeojang Villain’s home in run fifty.

And... appearances aside, astonishing as it was, Sim Aryeon had one of the most impressive academic backgrounds in our guild.

Education: the elite track of Yewon School (art), Seoul Arts High School (art), and Seoul National University (design).

And that wasn’t all. From childhood, she had swept the school art exhibitions, and her record of awards at various design exhibitions was equally impressive.

Two ministerial awards during elementary and middle school, and one presidential award in high school. Every aspiring art student unfortunate enough to be born in the same year and prepare for entrance exams alongside her hated Sim Aryeon. Even as a child, she had all the makings of a Bird That Drinks Aggro.

Sounds like bullshit, right? I thought so too, so I sneaked into the ruins of her schools and dug through their records. It was all true.

Why on earth did it have to be true...? Back then, all I could do was lament in the middle of an abandoned school, exhibition records spread out around me.

And what did Sim Aryeon primarily devote this dazzling education and career to?

-Goryeojang: Hmm... Really obvious you’ve never observed people in real life. Did you use your own joints as references for this? If so, I seriously recommend switching careers from illustrator to lab specimen.

-Goryeojang: Holy shit, jackpot. Draw like this at an entrance-exam prep studio and I bet the director would refund your tuition on the spot.

-Goryeojang: Seriously, I drew better than this when I was eight lol.

Nitpicking in comments like these.

Or drawing comics designed to piss people off and posting them on SG Net.

Sim Aryeon was standing before me, giggling as though she wouldn’t hurt a fly, but just last night she had won the profanity triple crown from SG Net’s outraged members: insults to her mother, her father, and her ancestors.

“Where are you going to paint?”

“Oh, the Han River. I thought I’d watch the water chatter away and paint a landscape for a change... I-it’s such lovely weather today. Mmm. Then, if I get bored, I might take a walk around the neighborhood and give free checkups to any elderly people who aren’t feeling well...”

“Dear God. Why did you have to give someone like her an ability like the Grudge Bomb?”

“Pardon?”

“Nothing... Anyway, you’re just going to the riverbank up ahead, right? Give me your bag.”

“Eep. Th-there’s no need to... Oh. Um. Th-thank you, Guild Leader...”

She followed me hesitantly, but the moment we reached the Han River and set up her easel, all her dithering vanished.

Facing the canvas, she brushed on paint in swift strokes, humming “Hmm, mmmm, hmm” to keep her own rhythm.

“...”

She painted with a single, fluid sweep. Apparently, working fast was one of an artist’s virtues, and her hands certainly moved at an incredible speed.

But she wasn’t merely fast. After encountering all sorts of artwork throughout my life as a regressor, I prided myself on having developed a fairly discerning eye. Even by my standards, her painting was highly accomplished.

“Heh... J-just as I thought. I’m a genius...”

Although, well, the remarks she occasionally muttered without realizing it were honestly quite a turnoff.

'Well. It’s a much healthier hobby than trolling online.'

I shrugged.

At least up until then, I had no intention whatsoever of interfering with Sim Aryeon’s hobbies.

That changed in run ninety-five.

2

To briefly outline the course of the history surrounding us, Meteor Strike was first slain in run forty-two.

Unfortunately, the law of action and reaction caught us in its grip, and our awakened were annihilated along with it.

But a regressor’s time defies the laws of physics. Run forty-three, forty-four, forty-five—as the runs went on, our strategy for Meteor Strike grew ever more refined.

By run ninety-five, it was no exaggeration to call that strategy complete.

“Dang Seorin. When Meteor Strike appears, set up something like a magical net beneath it in advance.”

“Huh? A net? Why?”

“Think of a meteorite, and it’s simple. Destroying it is one problem, but aren’t the fragments left afterward another?”

“... Oh.”

Taking my advice, Dang Seorin began developing a spell. The result was Heaven-and-Earth Net, a net spell designed solely to counter Meteor Strike. That neatly sealed away its final, desperate finishing move.

And why stop there?

The constellation-branded quest lists enticing the Korean Peninsula’s awakened also improved day after day.

The AAA game I designed and the Saintess operated, “Growing as an Awakened on the Korean Peninsula,” was an ultrarealistic, open-world sandbox MMORPG. Not only did it offer information on countless voids, it automatically provided personalized progression.

“Whoa. My awakened ability wasn’t actually turning filth into drinking water, but purification itself?”

“After I cleared the dungeon, a build guide appeared that showed me the most efficient way to develop my ability!”

“Ahhh. The world’s fucking awful, but at least getting stronger feels good.”

“Quests are invincible, and constellations are gods!”

“Repeat after me! Meteor Strike is just... a star.”

Of course, I’d earned every one of those rewards by slogging through life as a regressor.

Running an academy and raising as many awakened as possible had paid off. It had allowed me to develop their potential, optimized builds, and more.

“Huh? The reward is... an Equivalent Exchange spellbook? What’s this?”

Just look at Dang Seorin: the Dang Seorin of run four and the Dang Seorin of run ninety-five were on entirely different levels.

Spells she had barely managed to develop over years in previous runs were now handed to her practically for free.

“... My goodness! Magic this absurd actually existed?”

The results were tremendous.

Not only S-rank awakened like Dang Seorin, but nearly every reasonably capable awakened grew along an upward curve like Bitcoin in the early 2020s.

As a result, though not quite to the same extent as Tenlegs, Meteor Strike was gradually joining the lineup of pathetic, overhyped anomalies.

Udumbara? That one had joined ages ago.

-Ky҉uu҉?҉

-Hu҉ng҉҉ry҉?҉

-Tw҉ink҉҉҉le҉҉ tw҉inkle҉?҉

Ah, alas, the three anomaly brothers of the Korean Peninsula, who had plunged the early years of my regressor life into despair, were finally shutting down their services—

Anyway, everything in the world has its downsides as well as its advantages.

Just as pushing the Saintess’s power to its limit increased the likelihood of her fallen version, the “Executor,” appearing, the others faced similar problems.

The awakened grew stronger, but they also began growing that much more dangerous. Perhaps you could say they were slowly picking up “acceleration.”

Had this been a character-collecting mobile gacha game, none of that would have been a problem. Quite the opposite.

'Run-ten Dang Seorin is two-star, run-fifty Dang Seorin is three-star, and run-one-hundred Dang Seorin is four-star! Wow! So many Dang Seorins!'

'You mean we can sell the same character two, three, four times just by changing her outfit?'

'Limited rate-up rerun! Saintess Alter—the Executor arrives! Clairvoyance, Telepathy, Time Stop, and massive buffs to her existing abilities!'

'Mad about it...? Guess you’ll have to pull.'

We could have tested people’s wallets and patience from all sorts of angles.

But as you all know, this was reality. As a regressor, I had to keep an eye on a variety of side effects.

“Um... Guild Leader...?”

Which was why, if anyone started spouting lines like these in real life, I needed to be extremely careful.

“Hmm? What is it, Aryeon?”

“I-I don’t know if I should say this. No, actually, I shouldn’t. B-but I thought maybe it would be all right with you...”

“Hmm? What is it? Go ahead and tell me.”

“Th-then. Lend me your ear.”

Sim Aryeon whispered into my ear.

“Um... Guild Leader. About Meteor Strike. Even just a little would be fine, but could you t-take your time killing it...? Just a little slower?”

?

“Why?”

“I want to paint it...”

?

“Why?”

“B-because... it’s fucking incredible. Starlight bringing destruction from the sky. All those black waves. And even a siren and a lullaby... Honestly, I think it should be captured in a painting and preserved forever for future generations...”

???

If Cthulhu appeared in the ocean and someone declared, “Whoa, I absolutely have to paint that photorealistically so as many civilians as possible can see it!” they’d be treated as a lunatic. At that moment, my expression was exactly that of someone who had encountered such a lunatic.

“Miss Aryeon. Your guild leader is a little confused right now, but Meteor Strike is a special-class anomaly.”

“Huh? Oh, yes... A Continent-class anomaly by the Library Society’s standards. And more dangerous than any anomaly observed on the Korean Peninsula so far. Of course I know that...?”

“And you still want to leisurely paint it? Are you serious? What if the combat squad members sent to kill it die?”

“Um... You could work a little harder so that tragedy doesn’t happen...?”

“...”

“A-and honestly, I think sacrifices for art are unavoidable. I wanted to paint Tenlegs last time, too. Hwaaah. Losing that painting of Tenlegs is an eternal loss for humanity. Such a waste...”

“...”

For reference, the group called the Library Society had designated Tenlegs’s official identification name as “Crawling Baby Cthulhu.” In short, Sim Aryeon really did intend to paint Cthulhu.

And she actually did.

I was so dumbfounded that, in the next run, I set things up during the Tenlegs hunt and told her to go ahead and try.

“M-my goodness. These tentacles! Such bizarre wonders, never once possessed by any life-form on land—no, by any life-form in the deep sea—at any stage of evolution...! To think this actually exists! Impossible! Hwaaaah. I’m painting it, painting it, painting it all...!”

“...”

I regretted it a little.

But the surprising thing was... the anomaly paintings she uploaded to SG Net became an enormous hit.

-Anonymous: Doodle) Posting another little painting of Tenlegs today... ^^

(Image file)

-This is Tenlegs, the anomaly defeated last time! I was really lucky to join the hunting party and get a chance to paint it! But everyone fought so well that I didn’t have enough time to sketch... :(

-I’m a little embarrassed, but I thought it would be nice if awakened who couldn’t join the hunt could use this as a reference for what Tenlegs looked like... so here it is...!

-P.S.: It always makes me sad that image quality seems to deteriorate whenever I upload files to SG Net :( Admin, please try a little harder...!

Hmm.

Yes. I know what you’re all about to say. Unfortunately, this really was written by Sim Aryeon, aka the Goryeojang Villain.

She had simply posted anonymously rather than under her registered username.

Naturally, a flood of comments followed, their tone the exact opposite of those beneath the bait posts the Goryeojang Villain shat out.

-[Hundred Flowers]HighSchoolYear6: Woooow! So, so pretty!! >_<)!!

-Anonymous: Uh, this is a little too realistic...

-Anonymous: If you joined the Tenlegs hunt, doesn’t that make you pretty high-tier among awakened? Damn. That’s insane.

-[Three Thousand]WitchTrialJudge: Really looks like Tenlegs.

└Anonymous: Looks like ten kinds of shit?

-dolLHoUse: Disgusting.

-LoveMySon: Oh, please register an account, you gifted artist. I’m always looking for your paintings, but they’re hard to search for :(

-Anonymous: Really well painted.

-Anonymous: I was on the hunt too, and Tenlegs really looked like this. Even the vibe is exactly right.

└BookishGirl: How do you kill a monster like this?

└Anonymous: ‘Undertaker.’ ‘Great Witch.’ That’s it.

└Anonymous: Simply the GOATs.

-Anonymous: But why does this fucker posting paintings sound so obnoxious every time?

└Anonymous: What’s obnoxious about it??

└Anonymous: No slandering our talented artist.

-[Contentment]CookingQueen: What a wonderful painting. It feels more abstract than a literal depiction, yet I feel as though I’m looking at the real Tenlegs. You seem to have a natural gift for portraying anomalies!

Hmm.

I nodded at Go Yori’s comment.

Quite a few awakened on SG Net had participated in the Tenlegs hunt. If even they unanimously testified that it “looked just like the real thing,” Sim Aryeon clearly had a special aptitude.

Brushwork that felt real to those who knew nothing about it, and like the actual anomaly to those who did. A forcefulness that made it seem ready to leap out of the screen at any moment. Talent. The aesthetics of anomalies.

“Ehehe... So many compliments saying I painted it well...”

“...”

Then, suddenly, an idea flashed through my mind like lightning.

It was one of those flashes of inspiration that occasionally came to me in my life as a regressor.

“Aryeon.”

“Hehe... Yes? Guild Leader?”

“You like painting anomalies, right?”

“Y-yes? Y-you’re making me nervous. Why are you asking all of a sudden...?”

I planted a hand on her shoulder.

As she tilted her head in bewilderment, I gave her a broad smile.

“Tell me, have you ever considered becoming a constellation?”

“...?”