Chapter 78 - The Promotion Seeker II

“What?”

“Your Excellency. On reflection, I have never particularly enjoyed my life,” Yu Jiwon said.

“Even if Time Seal made me repeat my ‘happiest day,’ I doubt that happiness would objectively be worth very much.”

Uh...

What the hell was she talking about?

“While other ordinary people spend a happy day with their families or cuddle with their lovers within their sealed time, I would spend eternity repeating, at best, the day I got into university or the day I came top of my department. Imagine it, Your Excellency. Is that truly the most worthwhile happiness? I cannot help feeling cheated.”

“No... What... So what exactly are you trying to tell me?”

“Your Excellency, my esteemed Deputy Guild Leader. Please inform me in the next run, in advance, that you are a regressor, a prophet and savior who promises the gospel of an eternal day. Then this lowly sheep shall work tirelessly to create the happiest possible day, preparing for herself the days of paradise she will enjoy in comfort.”

“...”

Silence settled over the tent.

“Uh, so... If I understood you correctly, I'll use Time Seal on you, but before that, you want to personally put together the happy day you'll repeat forever?”

“Precisely, Your Excellency. Your understanding is most astute.”

“Are you actually fucking insane?”

“Your Excellency, Deputy Guild Leader! I shall serve you like a faithful dog until the day this world ends. So please, I beg you, make this promise to your unworthy subordinate.”

“It's already almost completely ended! No, Jiwon. I'm sorry. Your deputy guild leader was wrong. The truth is, I lied. Common sense says regressors can't possibly exist, right? Huh?”

“I have always trusted you implicitly, Your Excellency. Surely the friendship we've built is not so trifling? Of course, the me of the next run is exceedingly foolish and may fail to recognize you as her savior. In that case, simply tell her, ‘I know you murdered someone when you were fifteen, cut them into pieces, and dumped them in a water parsley field on Bukhansan.’”

“What? You killed someone in middle school? No, more importantly... Hey! Stop grabbing my trouser leg and let go! Huh? Hey, let go! Oh, really? I said let go! Heeey! Adjutant Yu! You crazy fuck!”

I'd encountered countless lunatics in my life as a regressor, but Yu Jiwon was the first psychopath who actively sought to exploit my regression solely and thoroughly for her own pleasure and happiness.

Even looking back now, a full 1,183 runs in, there was no other bastard quite like her.

What was even more astonishing... was that she wasn't just running her mouth. She genuinely remained loyal to me until the very moment her life ended.

GR҉O҈҈҉W҉O҈҉O҉O!

In the fifth run, I surrendered my head two minutes after beginning my fight with Tenlegs.

But plenty of awakened died before I did in that battle. Yu Jiwon was among them.

“Your Excellency! Look out!”

She even volunteered to take the hit from a Tenlegs tentacle coming straight at me. She darted out from beside me and body-blocked it.

I was dumbfounded.

Because I could have dodged that attack even if she hadn't intervened.

If there had been a ‘Pointless Death of the Year’ competition, that magnificent scene would have easily made the finals.

Honestly, I'd have been willing to applaud and laugh if the person responsible hadn't been my personal adjutant, who'd been through hell and high water with me.

“Hey... Adjutant Yu—no, Jiwon... What fresh kind of bullshit is this...?”

“Cough.”

Yu Jiwon coughed up blood, a neat hole punched through her chest.

Her blue eyes looked up at me with a seriousness the world would never see again.

“Next run... Your Excellency, promise...”

She slumped to the ground.

And died.

“...”

This was going to drive me insane.

4

Absurd as it was, I wasn't cruel enough to disregard the dying wish of someone who had died in my place. (Surely a pointless death still counts as a kind of death?)

I regretted not being a little crueler, but by then it was too late. I ended up delivering her dying wish to the Yu Jiwon of the next run.

“I see.”

The silver-haired picture of cool composure gave a little nod.

The world hadn't yet begun collapsing in earnest, so supplies were fairly plentiful. Yu Jiwon had raided a convenience store with a single axe and turned it into a fortress.

She claimed she'd owned the store beforehand, but I didn't particularly believe her. Lying came more naturally to her than breathing.

“I understand that you claim to be a regressor. I also understand that you possess an ability called Time Seal. But aren't these all merely unsubstantiated claims?”

“I also know you're a psychopath.”

“Hardly surprising. Everyone around me has known that for a long time.”

SCREEEEEECH!

Mid-conversation, an anomaly crashed through the convenience store window. It was a cockroach-like monster. I channeled aura into my cane and gave its maw a pretty little piercing.

CRUNCH!

Yu Jiwon approached and smashed the anomaly's head with her axe blade, making certain it was dead. The anomaly twitched.

She'd always possessed outstanding combat instincts. Glimpses of that talent were already apparent even then.

We resumed our conversation as though nothing had happened.

“What more do you want me to prove? I know you like Romance of the Three Kingdoms and majored in Latin, too.”

“Pardon? Hmm. Hmmm... I see. Indeed. Quite intriguing, but those remain unsubstantiated claims.”

“Fuck, I also know you killed someone at fifteen, chopped them up, and dumped them in a water parsley field on Bukhansan. Just believe me, you psychopathic bastard!”

“... Oh.”

Her eyebrows flicked up.

“Understood. That last statement has greatly increased the credibility of your claims.”

“Why? Because it's a truth nobody knew?”

“More precisely, because it is ‘incorrect information.’ I was fourteen, not fifteen, and it was Dobongsan, not Bukhansan.”

“...”

“If your ability were Mind Reading, allowing you to read someone's thoughts, or something that uncovered their secrets, there would be no reason for you to deliberately acquire incorrect information. In other words, you obtained incorrect information from someone else. And I have several reasons to be certain that my murder was never discovered.”

“...”

“Hmm, regression. And the me of the previous run used a regressor as a postman to send me a letter... Most intriguing. Few people could have such a rare experience in their lives.”

Seriously, this was going to drive me insane.

I opened a can of coffee from the convenience store shelves and poured it down my throat. Yu Jiwon didn't stop me.

“Let's call this coffee my delivery fee. I've delivered your dying wish, so I'll be going now.”

“Ah. My apologies, but please wait two minutes. I'll come with you.”

“What?”

I was horrified.

When I turned around, Yu Jiwon was rolling up the national and city maps spread across the counter and cramming them into a suitcase.

Incidentally, the store's most striking interior decoration was the skin of a ‘tutorial fairy.’ No, I didn't use the wrong word. This bastard had skinned a fairy and mounted its hide on the wall behind the counter like some sort of trophy.

I could confidently guarantee that she'd made skins out of at least two different kinds of living creature.

“Hey, what do you mean, come with me? You've got piles of supplies here. Just hold out here.”

“That would be an inferior strategy.”

She pushed up her glasses.

“Didn't the me of the previous run ultimately leave this place and join your guild anyway? If I'm going to leave regardless, joining you now should help me rise much faster.”

“It's not my guild. It belongs to someone named Dang Seorin.”

“Ah. Is that so? My apologies. Please continue to offer me your guidance and correction whenever I make a mistake.”

“No, screw guidance and correction, I'm telling you not to follow me! Hey. Heeey. No, you bastard! I don't like you anymore! Fuck off, will you!”

Yu Jiwon did not fuck off.

Far from it, she latched on like a parasite. The host this psychopath chose was called Three Thousand Worlds.

By throwing herself into witch cosplay more enthusiastically than any other guild member, she personally proved that she possessed not only ‘Minimap’ but also the skill ‘Farming Dang Seorin's Affection.’

“Wow, Deputy Guild Leader. Where did you find such a cute girl to bring home?”

“An honor worth three lifetimes, Your Excellency, Great Witch.”

“...”

Selected as one of Three Thousand Worlds' founding members, Yu Jiwon rose faster and higher than her fifth-run self. You could also describe it as making a complete ass of herself.

Her official titles were head of operations, adjutant to me, the deputy guild leader, and special secretary to Dang Seorin, the guild leader. In short, she firmly cemented her position as the guild's number three.

As the third-highest person in Korea's most successful enterprise, she was essentially the number three at the country's top conglomerate by pre-apocalypse standards. That was enough to earn praise for her successful career anywhere she went.

But our silver-haired psychopath Yu Jiwon was a personage who paid no heed to other people's opinions.

“Chief Yu.”

“Yes, Your Excellency?”

“... We'll be fighting Tenlegs soon. Shouldn't we hold your funeral before then?”

“Ah.”

“Anyway, from what I can see, you look much happier in this run than you did in the last one. Well, I don't know what your standards for happiness are, Chief Yu, but wouldn't this be enough for a satisfying afterlife?”

“Hmm.”

She said hmm. This bastard.

This psychopath had just looked into empty space, expressionless, and said ‘hmm.’

To give you a visual aid, the shape of her lips at that moment was very close to ‘ω.’

“Your Excellency, Deputy Guild Leader. A thought just occurred to me. If I am happier in this sixth run than I was in the fifth... isn't there a fairly good chance that I will be a little happier in the seventh?”

“Jiwon. What are you saying, Jiwon...?”

“Please pass on my dying wish to the me of the next run, asking her to make every effort to create a happier time before holding her funeral...”

“Hey!”

By now, you can probably begin to picture how this episode ends.

That's right. To skip any epilogue and go straight to the conclusion, this absolute motherfucker Yu Jiwon used me, her direct superior, as her last-will delivery boy every single time.

From the sixth run to the seventh, the eighth, the ninth, the tenth, the eleventh.

Whenever I tentatively asked whether she was finally happy enough and offered to hold her funeral, she would say,

“Hmm. Won't I be a little happier next run?”

And postpone her sealing endlessly.

Seriously, how could someone like this exist?

I may not look it, but I've read countless web novels since run 550, and I pride myself on having encountered innumerable regressor protagonists. Yet I've never seen a character use a bona fide infinite regressor like this.

This bastard even... In later runs, once the National Road Management Corps was founded, she sometimes went to work under Noh Doha instead of Dang Seorin.

“This Minimap really is exactly what our National Road Management Corps needs... It's made tracking our personnel's locations in real time so much easier. Whew. Thank you for introducing such an excellent recruit free of charge, Awakened Undertaker...”

“...”

And a few runs later, Yu Jiwon had smoothly risen to director of the Operations Control Office, the position immediately below Noh Doha in the National Road Management Corps.

In other words, if you observed her over a very long span—hundreds of years—Yu Jiwon really was gradually ‘getting ahead,’ climbing toward higher positions.

From ordinary guild member to my adjutant. From my adjutant to Three Thousand Worlds' number three. Then from a Three Thousand Worlds executive to a power player in the National Road Management Corps.

Truly, a miracle of creating something from nothing! Living proof of a success story!

I could scarcely begin to guess how such a phenomenon could occur.

A monster of ambition who kept getting promoted with every run? Wasn't this a genuine anomaly?

Even more astonishing was the fact that this monster, who would stop at nothing to get ahead, never betrayed me once throughout the long history of 1,183 runs.

Once, over drinks, I asked her why as we drank soju. Her answer was quite something.

“Pardon? You mean I should betray Your Excellency Undertaker? I would sooner die. It would never happen.”

“No, but why? You're a psychopath.”

“Please stop stereotyping psychopaths. Your Excellency Undertaker is a regressor with Perfect Recall, so surely you record people's every move and judge them accordingly. Naturally, I must exercise strict restraint in every run and take care not to displease you. Isn't that simple common sense?”

Holding a clear soju glass, Yu Jiwon looked up at the full moon in the night sky without expression. Her eyes alone were quite wistful.

“On the contrary, I find it difficult to understand that humans foolish enough to betray Your Excellency exist on Earth. In another sense, it is truly remarkable. Why are so many people so foolish?”

“...”

I really... didn't understand her...

But conversely, no one else in the world understood the person called Yu Jiwon as deeply as I did. By around the fiftieth run, I had become certain of one thing about her.

Even if everyone else in the world wanted Time Seal, this bastard never would.

Once, I'd thought she'd been born in the wrong era.

But I was wrong. She was the sort who would prosper in any era. That held true even in an apocalypse where civilization had completely collapsed. If anything, you could call her a survivor perfectly suited to this age.

At this point, half out of obligation and half as a joke, I couldn't help asking Yu Jiwon as a matter of courtesy.

“Jiwon.”

“Yes?”

“Are you a little happier now?”

Just then, a chess piece moving across the map abruptly toppled forward.

And my silver-haired adjutant, practically my one and only fellow Romance of the Three Kingdoms enthusiast, a founding member of my life as a regressor, my psychopathic friend, would rest her hand against her chin, consider for a moment, and give this reply.

“I think I can be a little happier next time.”

- The Promotion Seeker. End.