Chapter 251 - Will It Mean Anything? (5)

It wasn't as though I wanted to leave my mark on this world. I wasn't attached to it enough to want to be remembered as myself rather than the Demon Knight.

By the same token, I didn't want to invite needless sympathy by revealing my circumstances. All the more so because I knew their desire for personal gain could outweigh their compassion for me, and very easily at that.

But what if the charity I earned by explaining my plight brought me a precious clue? What if I could sway someone who had no intention of killing me, but might know something?

Then I could talk. I could certainly do that.

My desire to go home outweighed my pride.

["I meeean... Are they out of their minds?! Even so, dragging in a soul from another world?! Demon involved or not, that's crossing the line by a mile!"]

That aside... wasn't he a little too genuinely angry? I'd just... just expected a reasonable amount of shock, or a few sympathy points along the lines of, “You poor thing. Tsk, tsk.”

"... I thought you hated me."

["That was when I mistook you for Demon Vessel Number One!"]

"Things aren't exactly different now."

["They are! They are different! They just are!"]

After all, Yukkwi's behavior up to now could be summed up as brusque, prickly, disapproving, and hostile.

He'd only left me alone because he lacked the strength to kill me himself and wasn't determined enough to goad someone else into doing it. Personally, he thoroughly disliked me.

["Unbelieeevable. This is absolutely absurd. What, taking a soul from another world? A wager? Are you kidding me?! It's fine because they aren't the ones getting hurt?! Because they're already called demons anyway?! Rotten to the core! Absolutely rotten!!"]

I could still vividly remember the ways he'd picked on me: telling me to eat porridge because watching me pick at my food ruined his appetite, or to lie down and sleep because he hated seeing me tottering around...

Hearing him say all these things in stark contrast to those moments made the back of my head itch. How should I put it? His entirely unexpected reaction left me feeling strangely awkward.

["And what's wrong with that body's original owner?! Fine, the demon was being a demon, but what's that one's excuse?!!"]

More importantly, um, wasn't he being too loud? He'd wake everyone at this rate.

As Yukkwi's voice rose, I glanced around, worried the Mountain Lord or the priestesses—some of whom stayed by the cave entrance—might wake up.

["Fine, ask someone for help if you can't clean up the shit that is a demon by yourself. That's fine! But shouldn't you at least choose someone from the same world?! Why someone from another dimension of all places?!"]

Fortunately, no one had woken up yet. Perhaps it was because Yukkwi's words sounded loud only to me, while in reality he was merely chirping like a chick. What a relief.

["And you! You're a problem toooo! Why are you shouldering all of it alone? Do you think people will treat you properly if you just grit your teeth and wait?! Did you expect them to read your mind without you saying a word? Are you a pushover?!"]

A relief indeed, but wasn't that anger spilling over onto me now?

["Are you even listening, you exasperating fool?!!"]

"... Yes, sir—I am."

Not content with shrieking, he lost his temper and began smacking everything around him. He reminded me so much of my late grandmother that I barely managed to suppress the polite speech that rose instinctively to my lips.

As for the little slip I'd made in the process... well, he didn't seem to have noticed, so it probably didn't matter.

["Then why haven't you said anything?!"]

"Because even if I did, my circumstances wouldn't take priority...?"

["That's...!"]

Seriously, though, it was hard not to speak politely.

My eyes rolled as I struggled with a persona that threatened to unravel the instant I explained my situation. At a loss for words, Yukkwi struck the rock in frustration.

TAP, TAP.

["... That's true."]

He'd hurt himself doing that.

I gazed at the surface of the rock where Yukkwi sat. His nest was piled with dry reeds, and soft moss carpeted the area underneath. Why hit that particular spot with all those alternatives? Didn't it hurt?

["The plight of a single life doesn't carry the same weight as that of an entire world."]

While I was thinking that, Yukkwi lowered his head dejectedly. With his head buried between his gathered flippers, he looked rather like a child crouching with their hands on their knees.

["... Is that why you ran away?"]

"... Yes."

It was cute, seeing a turtle only a little larger than my palm doing that.

Only after entertaining that thought did I belatedly realize our conversation was veering off track. What if the others woke up while we were talking?

"So, your answer?"

["I've thought this for a while, but you're incredibly rude regardless of your circumstances."]

"..."

["Besides, you haven't said exactly what your question is."]

I'd pressed him for an answer so I could hurry on my way, only to get smacked with facts.

Right. Yukkwi had lived for thousands of years. Compared to him, I was a green youngster who hadn't even lived fifty.

It was a little strange for a nonhuman to care about human etiquette, but he certainly had ample reason to be offended. I cautiously gauged his mood.

"I'd like to know... whether there is a way to conceal demonic energy besides sealing it."

He probably would have answered even if I hadn't switched to polite speech... but surely there was no harm in being respectful. Now that I'd revealed some of the truth, continuing to act like a jerk was a trial in itself.

["... Not one you can use."]

Above all, I wanted to.

Feeling as though I'd undone a button on my shirt, I listened attentively. That single shift in manners seemed to have mollified Yukkwi considerably; he explained more kindly than before.

["You'd have to seal it, kill the demon, completely suppress it with overwhelming power, or turn the demonic energy into magical energy. But if you could do any of that, you wouldn't be here in the first place, would you?"]

"What about purification...?"

["No. Purification only works when the original being can survive separation from the demon. And as you are now..."]

He pondered briefly, then offered an analogy.

["Suppose there's an apple in a sack of flour. Taking it out would hardly damage the flour. Unless the apple gets crushed in the process, was already crushed, or has been in there too long."]

I immediately caught the gist of what he meant. So... in my case, had the apple been in the flour too long?

["But you're more like... flour with an old apple and a crushed apple mixed in, topped with a sprinkling of dirt. There's no way to separate out just the flour."]

Nope. It was even worse.

"Then...?"

["Honestly, at this point I think killing the demon would be a problem too. You—or rather, the body you're using—have been joined with the demon for too long. So long that it no longer qualifies as human. To be honest... hmm."]

Did he mean this body would die if the demon died?

I calmly waited for him to continue, tamping down the complicated feelings churning inside me.

["Oh, wait, wait. Could that be why?"]

Yukkwi suddenly exclaimed.

"...?"

["I'd wondered why they specifically brought a soul from another dimension... That would explain it."]

"... Must I answer another question?"

["No, that's all right. Well, of course I'd appreciate it, but I'll answer this one for free. When you get down to it, you're a victim caught up in this world's affairs."]

I was glad he'd answer without another exchange of questions... but what on earth had prompted that reaction? I waited quietly.

["But before I tell you, I have two warnings. First, this is only my hypothesis, so it could be wrong—though of course I think it's very likely right. Anyway. Second, you might regret hearing it."]

"... Is it that serious?"

["Ah, well. The content is part of it, but the very act of hearing it is a problem. You know how they say some things are better left unknown? Once you know, there's no going back."]

The reprieve before he reached the heart of the matter felt like a harbinger of impending devastation.

["So, do you want to hear it?"]

"..."

But was I going to retreat, trembling at that warning? Keep stumbling around blindfolded because I feared the unknown?

"I'll listen."

I didn't want that. I hated the thought.

I'd struggled enough. At this point, I'd rather know and regret it. I was tired of wandering without knowing anything.

["All right. As long as you're prepared."]

My tightly shut eyelids felt inexplicably hot.

["The demon and the body's original owner probably went out of their way to bring in a soul from another dimension for Concealment Through Ignorance. It's a sort of loophole exploiting the rule that 'perception proves existence.' But that law doesn't apply to this world, so beings belonging to this order can't use it even if they want to. They need someone like you, who belongs to that other order."]

"... Could you explain in more detail?"

["Hmm. Yes. It is a difficult concept for humans."]

Yukkwi gently rubbed the underside of his mouth with a flipper, like a human stroking their chin, then chirped.

["The rule is... exactly what it sounds like. If you can't perceive something, or don't, it ceases to exist. If you don't acknowledge gods, there are no gods. If you believe demons don't exist, demons disappear. Of course, there are finer points, like more widely shared beliefs taking precedence..."]

"... I'm not trying to argue, but when I first woke up in this body, I didn't know it contained a demon. Why didn't the demon disappear? Was that also due to one of those finer points?"

["Oh, no. That's simply because the worlds are different."]

"... What do you mean?"

["I meeean... the loophole itself works thanks to your soul, but since the demon belongs to a different order, the rule doesn't apply perfectly."]

After hearing all that, I thought:

What was he talking about?

["How should I explain this?"]

As if sensing my frustration, Yukkwi tapped the ground with a flipper.

["Your world uses perception to define existence. Ours doesn't. That's point one."]

"Yes."

["And under the law I mentioned, anything you don't perceive doesn't exist. Not so for us. That's point two."]

"Yes."

["Then we're left with a contradiction, like a spear that pierces anything facing a shield that blocks everything, right? That's precisely where Concealment Through Ignorance comes into being. Something that doesn't exist, yet does."]

"... You mean it seems to be gone, but is still there?"

["Exactly. Until you perceive it, it doesn't exist. But it hasn't disappeared entirely. You're acting as a screen, letting it 'pretend not to exist.'"]

Only then did I begin to understand.

"... But even when I was entirely unaware of its existence, someone sensed demonic energy from me."

If Yukkwi was right, why had my first meeting with the Inquisitor gone the way it had? Back then, I'd regarded the demon in my right arm as nothing but character lore. I'd never dreamed it actually existed. So why had the Inquisitor sensed demonic energy from me?

["That's because of the difference in standing. You may be exploiting the rules of a world, but ultimately, the one using them is you—a single soul. Wouldn't it be a problem if that alone could hide an entire Great Demon? If anything, I'm amazed you've concealed this much."]

That more or less answered my question. It wasn't as though I had no complaints, but if those were the laws of the world, what could I say?

["Well, that's not what matters. Now it's almost certain they brought you here to use Concealment Through Ignorance. You might not realize it... but after hearing what I just told you, your body has become even closer to a demon's. Unless you rein it in, they'll detect you from a hundred li away."]

"... That is not good news."

["I told you. Once you know, there's no going back."]

Fuck. Satisfying my curiosity was all well and good, but having it poison me was maddening. Was this really how things were going to go? Could I actually make it home?

"... Then could that be why the being who dragged me here never explained anything to me?"

Suddenly, I remembered the system, which hadn't offered a single word no matter how much I begged. I mulled over that unnatural silence.

Until now, I'd written it off as a cruel, selfish, heartless bastard who enjoyed screwing people over... but could there have been a reason for that silence too?

["Very likely. Surely it isn't the sort to ask someone to clean up its shit without even explaining anything? If it really is, that bastard deserves to be beaten to death."]

"... I see."

I exhaled through a suffocating sense of frustration. I couldn't tell what emotions lay hidden in the tangled skein of my breath as it unraveled, strand by strand.

"So that was why."

But one thing, one thing was certain...

Of all the scathing labels I'd attached to whoever hid behind the system, I might take back the accusations of coldness and heartlessness.

That is, if I ever had the chance to talk to them after everything was over. And if they'd truly wanted to tell me, but held back solely for my sake—oh, of course, I'd still want to curse them to hell and back for their utterly misguided approach. Fuck, how was kidnapping me without permission and keeping their mouth shut to the bitter end supposed to be for my sake? If they really cared, they should never have brought me here, or at least asked my consent, the fucking—then I thought I could at least revise “selfish, cruel, heartless motherfucker” to “still selfish, tried to consider me, but went about it completely wrong, motherfucker.”

Only if the chance to uncover the truth ever came.

["... Don't tell me you're starting to pity the bastard who summoned you?"]

"I'm not that much of a pushover."

I merely meant that... if someone switched the tracks to save five people, sacrificing me, then apologized to me, I would tell them I understood their choice.

And understanding was separate from forgiveness.

Of course it was. My life had been thoroughly fucked over. Why should I forgive them? Even if five people were saved, I was the one sacrificed.

Sacrifice had value when it was volunteered. A sacrifice decided by someone else wasn't a sacrifice. It was a living offering.

"I'll have to beat them half to death."

So that bastard was going to get a beating. No, they were going to get the absolute shit beaten out of them. As I'd just said, understanding and forgiveness were separate things.

["Good. That's the spirit."]

At my resolute response, Yukkwi shrugged his shell.

Is It a Problem if the Protagonist Is Obsessed with Staying in Character? (Serial)

Author │ Hae Inseol

Publisher │ Kim Juhyeong

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