Chapter 11 - I Can Simply Feel It Again

There is a story about blind men and an elephant.

To summarize, three blind men were made to touch specific parts of an elephant and asked to describe what an elephant was like, and all their answers were different.

The lesson of that story is that one cannot judge the whole by a part.

But there are some things so clear that even seeing only a part is enough to understand the whole.

For Ferda, at this very moment, it was the beauty of Valdrova before his eyes.

All he could see were merely her chin and lips.

The clean, clear line of her chin, like porcelain, stole Ferda's gaze.

The lips set above it were red and glossy, like an apple touched by morning dew.

Even from that lower half of her face alone, Ferda could tell.

The person who would become his spouse was a woman.

And that she was an unparalleled beauty unlike anyone he had ever seen before.

As that information flowed into him, Ferda did not know what emotion he was feeling.

And so he simply stared at her lips.

The engagement wine flowed between Valdrova's lips.

It slowly slipped through the narrow gap, and at last emptied the cup.

At that moment, Ferda felt a change inside his body.

The fear of dragons that had been branded into Ferda's body was disappearing.

-Mortals shall be freed from the unknown and wash away fear, and thereby become one.

It was exactly the phrase Luri had spoken.

The primal fear toward dragons was disappearing.

'She truly prepared so much for ordinary humans.'

The core of this engagement ceremony was allowing them to face one another.

Because of that, Ferda could feel it once more.

The anticipation she had hoped for, and the pain she felt when it had been dashed.

When Ferda gazed at her intently, the helmet modeled after a dragon's head shifted slightly toward him.

The eyeholes glanced this way, then quickly turned away.

'I did stare too much.'

Ferda turned his head and stood still.

"Next, you will read your vows to one another."

With a face that looked utterly displeased, Luri passed the baton to Ferda.

Valdrova waited quietly with her head bowed.

Ferda slowly breathed out and turned the vibration of his vocal cords into a clear sound.

"You do not know much about me."

It had taken Ferda an entire day to write this sentence.

That was how difficult it had been for Ferda to find the first words to express his own feelings.

"But I know you."

And the answer he had reached was,

"You gave me your heart. Through your heart, I glimpsed you and learned from you."

To express everything about himself to her honestly.

"I saw how you were betrayed countless times, and slandered. They hated you countless times."

CLINK.

Each time Ferda recited his vows, the armor twitched.

"But you fulfilled your duty with noble dignity. You did not turn your back on what you wished to love, and loved it to the end. That nobility of yours set me right."

He thought that was the best possible choice.

"Therefore, I swear here in this place. Just as you gave me your heart, this time, I will offer my heart to you. My sovereign, my everything."

That was the end of what was written in Ferda's vows.

"This was not written in the vows, but..."

But Ferda was not finished speaking.

He raised his head and looked at Valdrova.

When he met the eyes of the dragon's head, she lowered her head deeply.

CLINK, CLINK.

Clad in armor, she was fidgeting with her hands clasped politely together.

"It is truly an honor to be engaged to a beauty such as you."

The iron helmet jolted greatly.

Luri looked at Ferda expressionlessly.

Only her hands and feet were not merely curling up, but twisting.

"Now, the bride-to-be will read her vows—"

Luri's words were cut off.

Valdrova's hand had given an order for her to stop.

"Is something the matter?"

-...

Valdrova did not answer.

Instead, she simply turned around and began walking away.

Thinking she might have prepared something, Ferda quietly watched her actions.

And so Valdrova returned to her lair.

THUD!

And simply closed the door.

"..."

Valdrova had gone back without reading anything.

Ferda and Luri stared at the firmly shut door.

"... The engagement ceremony has been concluded."

And with that, the ceremony was brought to an end.

Valdrova had not read her vows, but everything necessary had been done, so there was no need to dwell on it.

"Then let us return now."

Luri called Ferda that way.

But no answer came back.

Faced with a situation that had ended one-sidedly, he merely stared quietly at the iron door with a serious face.

"Lord Ferda?"

Luri asked him once more.

Ferda, who had been thinking deeply as if possessed by something, opened his mouth again.

"I am sorry, but would it be possible for me to enter seclusion for about three days?"

"By seclusion, you mean?"

"I mean exactly what it sounds like. I will spend time alone without eating or drinking. I am asking you not to interfere."

A declaration that he would shut himself in his room and refuse food and drink.

To Luri, it sounded like this.

'It seems the shock was quite severe.'

The reading of vows to one another.

But he had ended up reading them alone, and the other party had gone behind the iron door.

So Ferda had to be embarrassed.

"Understood."

The crescent-shaped smile on Luri's lips did not fade for quite some time.

* * *

"As expected of you, Master. With this, the initiative has passed to you."

Luri entered Valdrova's lair and applauded her.

Valdrova had returned to her dragon form.

She was curled up, her head buried beneath her wing.

Valdrova had kept ruining the engagement ceremony, but her decisive action held great significance to Luri.

"I never imagined it would be such a tactic. A one-sided hit and run, I mean."

-...

"You made him personally read such hand-and-foot-curling words and embarrassed him, then ended it one-sidedly. The other side's momentum must certainly have been cut off."

-...

"... But it seems that was not your intention."

Luri's face, which had been genuinely delighted, gradually turned expressionless at Valdrova's silence.

Valdrova, who had hidden her face beneath her wing, raised her head.

-I... wanted to read my vows as well. As one who was taking a spouse...

"... I think I understand."

Luri turned her eyes toward the place she had been trying hard to ignore.

There were traces that she, too, had made no small preparations.

Luri knew how many pages of paper Ferda had crumpled and thrown away in order to write his vows.

'It was ten sheets.'

The result of that had been a single page of vows.

It was not too much, and exactly appropriate.

But the vows Valdrova had written were.

'A full twenty pages.'

And those twenty pages were packed tightly on both sides.

The number of sheets sacrificed to write them alone amounted to more than three books' worth.

A pure young maiden's sensibility, unbefitting the infamous Grand Duchess.

It was exactly the sort of thing that would be troublesome if anyone other than her fiancé saw it.

But Luri had been Valdrova's attendant for several hundred years.

This was at a level where one sigh would be enough to let it pass.

"If you liked him that much, why did you not do it when it actually began?"

-That is...

Valdrova's mouth twitched.

-I could not look.

Luri tilted her head.

"What do you mean, you could not look?"

-I did not have the confidence to meet those eyes... and speak.

With the face and voice of a vicious dragon, she spoke the lines of a shy young girl.

-His gray hair, his sharp eyes that seemed to pierce through me, and his gentle voice...

"..."

-As I looked at them... my mind went completely blank, and I could do nothing.

"... This Luri's mind is going completely blank as well."

-Do you understand my heart too?

Luri wanted to pierce her own eardrums and cough up blood right then and there.

"In any case."

Feeling that she would shout at her once more if she listened any further, Luri changed the subject.

"From now on, the prospective Consort will begin acting as the lady of the house. He will manage this castle and the territories under it."

-That... is something I also know well.

"And when humans take hold of power, they begin to change."

-...

Power.

At that word, Valdrova, who had been elated, also grew calm.

The 3rd Prince.

The 3rd Prince who had died by her hand was still tormenting her.

It was said to have happened decades ago, but to her, who had lived for eons, it was like yesterday.

"That is how mortal beings live as they flow along with time. Please always be prepared for disappointment. My master, great ruler."

-I understand...

Valdrova's gaze turned somewhere far away, and she fell into deep thought.

The pure young girl who had faced a human returned to being an immortal.

Even for Luri, throwing cold water on an auspicious day was not particularly pleasant.

'But it is necessary.'

Just as even a war hero passing through a triumphal arch must realize that he is but a mere human.

One must also know that the things one cherishes and loves are destined to change or disappear someday.

That was the best advice Luri, as a dragon spawn and Valdrova's loyal retainer, could give.

* * *

After finishing the engagement ceremony, Ferda immediately entered seclusion.

Unlike Luri, who thought he had shut himself in his room from shame and shock, Ferda needed time alone.

'This emotion I felt while looking at her.'

When Ferda had actually been writing the vows, he had merely written down what came to mind.

But as he spoke them aloud himself, Ferda felt something that had sunk to the bottom of the water rise up.

To the point that, in the end, he had even added an unnecessary remark that was not in the vows.

'Why did I do such a thing?'

Ferda knew.

That if he said such a thing, she would certainly be flustered.

And that it might ruin the ceremony.

'But I had to do it.'

It had been based on an irrational impulse.

He had felt an impulse that if he did not say it now, it might be too late, and Ferda had been drawn along by that impulse.

In the end, he had flustered Valdrova, and the engagement ceremony had not flowed as planned.

'Why?'

Holding that question, Ferda closed his eyes.

He reviewed his five senses, drawing up what he had seen and the emotion he had felt at that time.

Ferda repeated it dozens of times so that he would not make a wrong guess.

And at last, he reached a conclusion.

'It was then, after all.'

Ferda had been entranced by the glimpse of her he had seen for a moment as she drank the engagement wine.

The emotion from that moment had, for an instant, made him someone other than himself.

Not Ferda the Great Mage, but one man, Ferda.

'But what should I call this?'

To find that out, Ferda recalled only the point where it had been heightened to the utmost.

He repeated it over and over solely to obtain that answer.

At that moment, Ferda felt a writhing.

A feeling of rough rotation within the circle he had already made below his dantian.

The greater that driving force grew, the hotter his chest gradually burned.

'The Red Circle is moving.'

It was a rapid current flowing so fast he could not control it.

At the same time, it was a torrent violent enough to devour him.

'This could be dangerous...'

Instead of searching for that answer, Ferda focused on the sensation.

There were two choices given to him.

Distract himself and calm the movement of the Red Circle.

Or focus on that emotion and make it surge even more violently.

'Calming it is the best option.'

Making it surge was a dangerous choice no different from pressing a blade to his throat.

That was true even for Ferda, who had been a Great Mage.

'But in order to create a dignity befitting Grand Duchess Valdrova...'

He had to take a risk and venture forward.

That was the resolve Ferda had made when he set foot in Valdrova's territory.

'Let us try.'

Ferda focused his mind on a single point.

Creating the second Circle was similar to creating the first Circle.

But it was described more easily because it lacked the vague difficulty of creating the first Circle.

'The problem is that I do not have enough mana built up to that extent.'

Piercing through to a Circle was like breaking an egg.

To enter a new world, one had to break one's shell on one's own and prove oneself.

What was needed for that was a hard beak and strength.

Mana and mental strength played that role.

Ferda had both of those conditions in place.

'First, concentration...'

Ferda closed his eyes and assumed his posture.

He let his consciousness fall deep below.

At the same time, his five senses faded.

The sound of his heartbeat, and even the flow of time felt through his skin, disappeared.

At last, there was nothing that could interfere with Ferda.

All that remained to him was his complete consciousness.

Ferda drew a line in his mind.

That line became a guide, and the surging mana moved along the line he drew.

Without offending the mana's temperament, he naturally guided it to a new place.

The stream made from the great river grew larger and larger, and at last became a new circular shell.

'And then I layer it over.'

Another circle that wrapped around the circle he had made.

As he slowly shaped its form, he clearly defined the shape of the Circle.

Over the long span of forty-eight hours, Ferda focused only on shaping it, and completed it perfectly.

Two circles now rotated within Ferda's dantian.

Ferda had become a 2nd Circle mage, a Spell Blower.

"Hmm..."

Though he had become a 2nd Circle mage in only a few days, Ferda was not satisfied.

'The emotion has settled.'

It was because, as a new path opened and he became 2nd Circle, Ferda's emotion had settled.

That ticklish emotion had become part of Ferda, and the excitement he felt when recalling that memory had vanished along with it.

'This is the downside of the Red Circle.'

One had to desire a greater stimulus, and when the stimulus disappeared, one stagnated.

So one had to become either a monster devoured by emotion, or something that amounted to nothing.

'I can simply feel it again.'

Though it was regrettable that he had not discovered the answer, there was no impatience.

The moment he faced her again, this emotion would once more surge up until his heart was full.

He felt certain of that.

Ferda smiled.

* * *

"I expected it when you said you would shut yourself in... but did you become 2nd Circle in that time?"

"That is what happened."

A mage who had reached 2nd Circle within three days.

It had only been a little over a month since he came here, yet he had gone from an ordinary person to 2nd Circle in an instant.

'Abnormally fast growth.'

Though he was still only a mere 2nd Circle at best, if one looked solely at the rate of growth, it was worthy of awe.

"So this is where I will be working now?"

"Yes. Though you only hold authority as an acting representative."

The place where Ferda and Luri stood was the Grand Duchess's office.

It was furnished with old brown wood, and everything was optimized for official work, while at the same time the dignity of its owner seeped from the space.

To the point that when Ferda first stepped inside, he almost mistook it for a place where a king must certainly be waiting ahead.

Ferda, feeling that atmosphere, asked Luri.

"So now that I am officially her fiancé, what should I do?"

"As I told you earlier, appoint personnel. Since the Grand Duchess will begin her activities, you must fill those positions."

"So I heard. But can I decide that on my own authority?"

"Of course, Lord Ferda cannot."

Luri lifted what had been placed on the table and spoke.

"But this can."

It was the jade seal of Grand Duchess Valdrova.

A jade seal held authority no different from the person themself.

There was a reason people said to regard the jade seal as one would the king.

"Appointing personnel..."