Chapter 205 - An Insurmountable Wall

Olivia blinked blankly. No matter how she thought about it, she could not understand.

This was not a conversation between two young noblewomen, but between two women in the highest echelons of society. Such women fought in circles of veiled words, maintaining decorum however they could. Olivia had naturally come prepared for that battle, intending to fight to the end. Yet a single remark had brought her defenses crashing down.

'She summoned me because she wants to be beautiful and clever like me?'

That was all? Could there be some hidden intent to strike a blow at her? She tried to see it that way, but could make no sense of it. The more information she gathered, the more the picture became a mass of contradictions.

'A dragon who acts like a naive young noblewoman...?'

Willful dragons like Storeus might be called childish, but they were not truly children. His words had always carried messages peculiar to dragons.

Olivia's mind worked faster than ever. What if that childlike behavior was a strategy to make her lower her guard? What if the claim that there was nothing more to it was a lie, a ploy to put her off her guard? What if she meant to probe Olivia's intentions, then sever her head the moment she showed affection?

She kept devising countermeasures. The more tangled her thoughts grew, the more menacingly those horns gleamed.

"Are you hot?"

That one question brought everything to a halt. Her agitation had left her armpits and forehead damp. The powder she had applied to the sensitive areas was beginning to melt.

"My apologies. I have always been prone to perspiring..."

"Wait a moment. Luri."

Luri handed Olivia a glass of ice water. Wind spirits circled her, cooling the air. Olivia drank the water to clear her head. Just as she was about to resume her thoughts...

"I am sorry."

"... Pardon?"

The dragon had apologized.

"I chose a place befitting a visiting princess, but I was thoughtless. It never occurred to me that you might suffer from the heat."

"Not at all. My nerves are partly to blame, so please think nothing of it."

"You were nervous. Hmm..."

Valdrova seemed to ponder something. The message conveyed by her silence became another barrage of information tormenting Olivia.

Then Valdrova looked toward her attendant. Luri merely stood still with her eyes closed. Yet that apparently sufficed as a conversation, for Valdrova acted at once. She removed her mask, revealing her face.

"Will this... help you relax...?"

And every conjecture Olivia had made went straight into the rubbish bin.

The face beneath the mask was nothing like she had expected. It was an exceptionally gentle face, wearing an awkward smile. Shyness lingered in the rounded eyes and lips as glossy as cherries. She was one of the most beautiful women Olivia had ever seen.

Beauty alone would not have shocked her so deeply. It was how utterly that face failed to match a dragon's majesty. Every glimpse of those fearsome horns had felt like a blade pressed to her throat, but now that she could see the face, she no longer felt the blade. Despite the overwhelming presence unique to dragons, part of her wondered whether this woman truly was one.

"Are you a little more at ease now?"

"... Yes."

"I am glad."

Valdrova's bright smile gave Olivia another piece of information: this woman's expressions were easy to read.

"I truly wanted to know how I might become as beautiful and clever as you."

Perhaps that was why Olivia now found herself struggling in an entirely different way. Without her years of social training, she was certain she would have stammered disgracefully.

"There is nothing special about me. I am so dull that I cannot even understand what gave you that impression, and here I am floundering. How could I possibly be called intelligent?"

"Hmm, that... What was it...? 'Embodying the image of a god,' was it? How do you find things like that to say?"

"Those were not my own words. I am ashamed to admit I merely borrowed them from a famous work of philosophy."

"Isn't philosophy the study of making iron?"

"Its dictionary definition is the rigorous study of the world and human life. Yet as Your Highness says, it is much like making iron. One constantly hammers and tempers the mind, shaping it into a tool."

Valdrova's golden eyes sparkled.

"I see. If I read that book, will I be able to speak intelligently?"

"Of course."

"Philosophy... Wait a moment. Luri."

She gestured for something to write with. Luri answered quietly, a hint of displeasure in her voice.

"I will remember it for you."

"But... No, that would hardly be the proper attitude for a student, would it?"

"..."

Valdrova was repeating Luri's own words. Never having expected them to be turned back on her like this, Luri struggled to maintain a professional expression as she handed over paper and a pen.

"Could you perhaps recommend some books for me to read?"

There was no longer any grandeur in her voice. Olivia answered.

"I would suggest some accessible collections of meditations and dialogues. The meditations contain many thought-provoking questions, along with philosophers' thoughts and the answers they offer. I believe you will find them interesting."

"I see. Meditations and... dialogues... Um... Could you also tell me what those words mean?"

"Of course."

Olivia explained everything step by step. Whenever Valdrova looked confused, she explained again, breaking it down until she understood clearly.

What a strange situation. Here she was, teaching a dragon everyone feared. She was undoubtedly speaking with a dragon, yet that distinctive sense of pressure was gone. It felt as though she were talking to a child.

That frightened her, too. Was there truly no hidden intent behind any of this? Or had she simply failed to notice it, even now? Instead, it was Olivia whose mind was growing dazed. She was being helplessly swept along at Valdrova's pace.

During a brief silence, she watched Valdrova writing and made a reflexive remark.

"Your handwriting is exceptionally beautiful."

"Isn't it?!"

Valdrova's face brightened as though the sun had risen across it.

"I practiced so much. Writing letters is easier than I thought, but writing them well is really hard."

"But is there any need for you to trouble yourself with such things?"

Olivia hastily softened the remark, which might easily have caused offense.

"Forgive my presumption in asking. With my limited understanding, I thought it might be better for Your Highness to entrust such tasks to a representative rather than go to this trouble yourself."

"Mm, you're right."

Valdrova had once felt the same way. What use would she have for learning to write like this? She had never bothered to learn, nor had she cared to.

"I wanted to show Ferda my writing. I thought he might be pleased if I showed him how beautifully I could write..."

"Is that all?"

"That's all."

She smiled foolishly.

"Because right now, that's everything to me."

"Is... that so?"

"And that made me want to keep learning new things. I thought that if I became clever by learning like this, I wouldn't feel ashamed to stand beside Ferda..."

Valdrova looked at Olivia again.

"And then I wanted to try talking to you, too."

"..."

It made no sense, no matter how Olivia considered it. Why would a dragon try to impress a mere human? She could not believe that a dragon said to have lived since the beginning of time could entertain such ordinary, humble aspirations.

Without thinking, she met those eyes again. Within the golden irises lay vertical pupils. What she felt from them was pure admiration, just like the way the children of the Empire looked at her. It was Valdrova who averted her gaze, seemingly embarrassed.

"I want to learn so much more."

"If Your Highness wishes, I would be happy to teach you at any time."

"On that note..."

Valdrova's face slowly reddened. Her lips fidgeted as she cautiously drew out the words.

"Olivia... would you be my friend, too?"

Olivia answered her question.

"Of course, Your Highness."

* * *

After finishing tea with Valdrova, Olivia stepped outside. She had excused herself by saying she needed to discuss diplomatic matters with Ferda. In truth, they were not particularly urgent.

Olivia seldom announced that she would leave first, since doing so could easily seem discourteous. Yet she had done it. Being in the same room as Valdrova had become unbearably difficult.

In public, Olivia always concealed her feelings behind a cheerful smile. Now, however, only a faint, awkward smile remained on her face.

What had shaken her so deeply was a single, simple word.

'Friend...'

A word so familiar in high society.

'What is a friend?'

Yet to Olivia, it was a word so far beyond her reach. Someone more than an acquaintance, who remained beside you in joy and hardship, someone with whom you shared mutual respect and support—was that it?

'... Was I ever able to make a friend?'

Suddenly, she remembered the first time someone had slapped her. The woman who had dared do so was Crown Prince Alexander Arken's first wife.

Though married to Olivia's detestable brother, she had been a decent woman. After her official marriage brought her into the palace, she had tried to ease Olivia's suffering and sincerely sought to grow close to her. Olivia had even dared to hope she might come to regard the woman as an older sister.

That was the first and last time she had believed she could make a friend. Hope had always been cruel to her.

It had not taken long for the first wife, who had always smiled and joked with her, to begin hating Olivia. With mascara smeared across her face until she looked like a ghost, she had approached Olivia and slapped her.

["You bitch... Because of you...!"]

The first wife had vanished forever, leaving Olivia with nothing but a torrent of hatred she could not understand. Only later did she learn what had provoked such rage.

The problem was that the woman had failed to bear a child despite sharing Alexander's bed time and again. Fingers were pointed at her, accusing her of being barren, until at last it was decided that she would be stripped of her position.

She could hardly help being furious. The fault lay not with her, but with Alexander. She had discovered that Olivia was the only person Alexander saw as a woman. Unable to slap the man who would soon be emperor, she had turned her anger on the blameless Olivia instead.

Olivia had felt terribly sorry for the crown princess. But she had felt no guilt.

Such resentment echoed endlessly, even where she could not hear it. If only the princess weren't here, the person I love would look at me. If only the princess weren't here, my fiancé would cherish me more.

'They're all just excuses.'

Olivia thought them the excuses of the lazy. She considered such people fools who did nothing but hate and rage, trapped in the past. Would anything truly change if she were gone? If you lacked something, you could acquire it. Failing that, you could cultivate your own strengths.

That was how Olivia had always lived. Never once had she neglected the advantages she had been given. Wherever she fell short, she worked to improve, even at the cost of sleep. That was how she had become the princess everyone admired.

She had never doubted that she was right. At least, not until today.

["Would you be my friend?"]

The moment she heard those words, Olivia sensed something in Valdrova that she herself lacked.

["I like people who are pure-hearted."]

The words Ferda had spoken when they first met overlapped with them.

Valdrova was an utterly pure-hearted person. She struggled to speak indirectly or hide her feelings. Yet she was careful not to make anyone uncomfortable, and when she loved something, she loved it without reserve.

She was unsophisticated, but Olivia could not laugh at that. No matter how many thousands of masks Olivia made and wore, she could never imitate the true face beneath Valdrova's.

'So this is what it felt like.'

Without realizing it, Olivia clenched her fist. She could understand at least a fragment of what the first wife had felt. To look up at a realm she could never reach, no matter how hard she tried... So this was how much it hurt.

That frustration was boiling up in Olivia's heart. For the first time in her life, she was jealous of someone.