Chapter 14 - You Have Skills Too? (2)

Regardless of whatever the ghost was babbling about, the voice made one thing clear.

[Please select a skill card.]

This was undeniably real!

The two brass-colored cards began flying rapidly through the air. They whizzed back and forth at a dizzying speed, but something else was driving me completely out of my mind.

"Oh, come on! What kind of broken bullshit is this? Copying monsters’ abilities too? That’s going too far! Hey, who’s running this Tower?! Why didn’t you give a skill like this to a sensible hunter like me, instead of this pathetic scrub?!"

'Oh, please, can we have some quiet?'

"Get out here! This doesn’t count! God, I’m seriously losing my temper!"

The attendant spirit flailed his arms and legs in outrage. How should I put it...? He was just pathetic. He was no different from a child sulking because he hadn’t gotten any candy. So pathetic that I wondered whether an adult was even allowed to be this embarrassing.

'Ugh. I should just focus on the cards.'

I examined the two brass-colored cards flying through the air.

'They’re both shit-colored, so neither skill can be much good...'

Even so, my heart raced with pure excitement. A monster’s skill! I could share the same skill as a monster! Somehow, it felt like I was doing something secret, playing a naughty prank.

'I’m curious.'

I slowly reached out.

'Let’s just pick one!'

I was about to grab a card at random, exactly as I’d intended.

"Huh? What? You’re picking that one?"

The damn ghost couldn’t keep his mouth shut even that long. The boyish excitement that had set my heart pounding quickly cooled. Honestly. His knack for spoiling the moment was incredible.

'Yes. It doesn’t matter which one I pick anyway.'

"Why wouldn’t it matter?"

The attendant spirit was looking at me from the other side of the cards.

"You’re getting a free ride anyway. You might as well pick the better skill."

'That’s the point. I can’t tell which card has the better skill. They’re both shit-colored. This is purely a game of chance.'

"Huh? Why can’t you tell which skill is better?"

'Oh, come on. You’re really not getting it today.'

I shouted in frustration.

'The cards are the same color! I can only see their backs! There’s no way to tell them apart, so how am I supposed to know which skill is better?'

The attendant spirit tilted his head.

"But I can see them."

'What?'

"I can see the fronts of the cards."

He said it with a brazen look on his face. I was dumbfounded.

'What kind of ridiculous—'

I was about to ask what nonsense he was spouting when it dawned on me.

Position!

From where I was, I could only see the backs of the cards. Even if I shifted my gaze, the cards moved along with it. Just as you couldn’t see the far side of the moon from Earth, I could never know what was written on their other sides.

But that only applied to me.

The attendant spirit could move freely through this dark space.

That’s right.

Of course he could fly to a position where he had a clear view of the other side!

'My God...' I muttered.

'You can see them from there? You can really read the card descriptions?'

The attendant spirit furrowed his brows.

"Of course I can. What do you take these eyes of mine for? I’ve been famous for my keen eyesight since I was a kid. There was this kid in my neighborhood called Gaettong who fired a popgun at me, right? Well, by the time I was five, my eyes were already sharp enough to dodge it. Eventually, I even mastered Thousand-Mile Sight. Hah, that’s how great I—"

'Eureka!'

"Holy fucking shit! Have you suddenly lost your mind?! Why are you yelling?"

The attendant spirit was startled, but I didn’t care.

'Eureka! Eureka! EurekAAAA!'

I was simply rejoicing in my good fortune.

He gave me a strange look, then quietly clicked his tongue.

"I called him Zombie, and now his brain’s actually rotted like one. Tsk, tsk, tsk..."

2

These were the cards’ contents, as revealed by the attendant spirit.

+

[Blessing of Reproduction]

Rank: E

Effect: Ah, nature grants us a home, yet also visits hardship upon us! In this harsh world, the orc race has overcome nature by maximizing its reproductive capacity. One orc was captured and killed, you say? Fear not. There are still nine more where you cannot see them!

※However, you will suffer from being in heat all year round.

[Chwiik, Chwik]

Rank: F

Effect: “We add chwiik to the end of every sentence, chwiik. Even we don’t know why, chwik! But try a bowlful of chwiik yourself, chwik.” An orc gives a thumbs-up. “Then you’ll never escape the joys of chwiik-chwik-ing, chwiik!”

※However, chwiik-chwik.

+

'Wow... '

Shit-colored cards, all right.

They were both utterly insane shit skills. I could hardly contain my admiration.

"Well? If I hadn’t stopped you, you would’ve picked [Chwiik, Chwik]. Gongja, you were born a man. You ought to experience an orc’s prowess at least once. Now hurry up and thank me. Come on! Hurry!"

The ghost’s bullshit was equally hard not to admire. In other words, it was mind-bogglingly insane.

'Hmm.'

Ignoring the attendant spirit, I quietly considered my options.

'If I have to pick one of these, [Chwiik, Chwik] looks better.'

"Huh? Are you nuts?"

'No, I’m right about this.'

I nodded. I was certain.

'However I look at it, [Chwiik, Chwik] is far more useful than [Blessing of Fertility].'

"Hey, hey! Wait! Think it over a little more. Give it some calm consideration...!"

I snickered at the attendant spirit’s flustered reaction.

'Looks like you’re thinking exactly what I am.'

Before he could try to stop me again, I quickly snatched the shit-colored card. The cards were flying around fast, but that wasn’t much of a problem. It might have been different with a whole bunch of them, but there were only two.

[Selection complete. Copying skill.]

[Returning to twenty-four hours ago.]

"N-no!"

'Yes!'

Our shouts rang out together like a chorus.

[Your current hunter rank is F.]

[No penalty will be incurred from the skill.]

At the same time, the dark world filled with light.

* * *

My eyes snapped open.

"Hmm!"

My head felt refreshed.

"Ah, this is nice. A comfortable bed really does help you shake off the fatigue."

This was no longer my cramped two-pyeong room. It was accommodation I’d asked the Union to arrange for me: a hotel room that wasn’t huge, but was more than spacious enough for one person. After winning the lottery jackpot, I’d decided to stay here for the time being.

Meanwhile...

"Damn it! I thought you’d fall for it! All you’ve got is that useless cunning!"

"Heh heh."

The attendant spirit floated in the air, kicking at nothing. Apparently, his failure to make a fool of me had left him quite bitter. Hmm. The sight alone soothed my heart. It was as beautiful as a landscape painting.

"All right, let’s pack the elixir again... Status window."

There was no reason to waste time here. I checked my status window on the way to the hunting grounds.

+

Name: Kim Gongja

Rank: F

Skills (4/4)

1. I Want to Be Like You (S+): Passive

2. Regressor’s Clockwork Watch (EX): Passive

3. Sword Constellation (A+): Passive

4. Chwiik, Chwik (F): Active

+

"Good. No problems."

My skill slots were full, but that was fine. When it was time to get a new skill, I could simply overwrite [Chwiik, Chwik].

Until then, I’d use it to my heart’s content.

"Gongja, I’ve been thinking... Maybe it’s fine to just sit cross-legged and train quietly. There’s no need to put yourself through painful deaths just to train, is there? Sitting cross-legged. Cultivating the mind. Doesn’t that sound wonderful?"

"Whew."

I arrived at the third-floor hunting grounds.

Orcs were wandering in the distance.

"Grrr... Chwik."

Keeping a close eye on the orcs’ positions, I took out the elixir. The thermos was nice and hot. I downed its contents in one gulp.

"Hey, Gongja? Can’t you hear me? I’m saying we should train peacefully. Even if you train sitting cross-legged, I’ll have you mastering aura within six months. No training method is inherently superior to another, right? Just trust me."

"Ahh! Tastes great."

This was only my second time drinking it, but I was already developing a taste for it. The apothecary must have paid attention to the flavor when she made the elixir.

While I waited for it to take effect, I spoke.

"Mr. Sword Emperor, have you noticed something?"

"Huh? What? Are you going to sit cross-legged?"

"You call me Zombie when you have the upper hand, but when you’re at a disadvantage, you call me Gongja. And for a while now, you’ve been calling me Gongja instead of Zombie."

THUMP.

"I’m kindly pointing it out so you can break the habit."

The moment I finished speaking, the world before my eyes slowed down.

My heart pounded. Along with its pounding, I felt that faint flow again.

Aura!

The attendant spirit’s training method definitely worked. Unlike on my previous run, I could sense the aura clearly right away.

"Hah, huh... Haaah..."

Steadying my breathing, I approached. The orc’s ears twitched and pricked up as it sensed my presence. The enormous green monster slowly turned around.

"Grrk?"

Its eyes widened. From its perspective, confusion was understandable. Some prey was walking right up to it on its own two feet.

"Grrrr!"

Apparently deciding to humbly accept this good fortune, the orc raised its club high.

That was also the moment I smiled inwardly.

[Activating skill.]

I opened my mouth.

"Chwi... ik! Chwik...!"

The orc froze, its eyes widening even further. The club cutting through the air stopped midswing.

"Chwirk... Chwiik? Chwi... ik?"

It tilted its head, seemingly puzzling over how to take the fact that mere prey had learned its people’s language.

Of course, its limited IQ made understanding the situation impossible. And my IQ wasn’t low enough to let such a golden opportunity slip by.

"Chwiik!"

Perfect Orcish flowed from my mouth.

My command of the language rivaled a native speaker’s!

"Grr? Chwi... rk?"

The monster before me grew even more bewildered. Its helpless confusion was plain to see. In the end, even when I lunged at it, the orc couldn’t put up any real resistance.

SHLASH!

My blade smoothly sliced through the orc’s Adam’s apple. I fed exactly one drop of aura into the blade’s tip—not too much, not too little.

THUD!

A fountain of blood erupted as the orc’s massive body fell.

"Chwi... rk...? Grr... Chwik..."

It chwiik-chwik-ed as though it had suffered some injustice.

Translated into human speech, perhaps its dying cry would have been something like, “Et tu, Brute!”

"Chwirk."

I smiled triumphantly. Forcing the aura out had left my body aching, but... I was in incomparably better shape than on my last run. I was fine. If I only used this much aura, there were no particular problems.

"You cheating bastard! I knew this would happen!"

The attendant spirit trembled with anger.

"Does tricking a good orc like that make you feel good? Huh?! You don’t even consider how the orcs feel, do you? It’s dirty humans like you who make the innocent orcs of this world suffer!"

I didn’t retort, “Didn’t you say no training method is inherently superior to another?”

Instead, I answered with a single mocking word.

"Chwiik!"

"Aaargh! I’m furious! I’m so pissed off! O Tower, why did you give such a broken skill to this slippery little bastard?!"

By the time a week had passed, I had made it all the way through the fifth-floor hunting grounds.