Chapter 146 - Friends (2)

'Well, damn! There's no law saying I have to sit here and die!'

A blessing in disguise.

For the first time since entering high school, I felt I had experienced something called friendship.

'They say a real friend is someone who reaches out when you're in trouble.'

Right. Time for some reflection. I'd been too arrogant all this time.

People make mistakes in life. I'd trusted those kids too much! I hadn't considered the possibility that one of my friends might sneak out an audio file and fuck me over.

'It's all right. I've still got plenty of life ahead of me.'

I was only a second-year high school student. I had more than sixty years left to live. I'd make more mistakes, and each time, I'd face the risk of despair.

'But there's always a chance to turn things around.'

So I shouldn't get discouraged so easily. I shouldn't give up on everything too soon. I should believe in myself. Believe in my friend! Unlike those worthless fucking livestock, I was strong! A strong human being.

'Life is experience.'

I'd chalk this up as a [good experience].

'It's actually lucky this happened before I went out into the world. Right. Let's think of it that way. It's not like my business failed. It's not like the police arrested me. Some kids just ostracized me a little, right? And that'll clear up once the election's over.'

A truly good experience.

'I'll slip an apology to my girlfriend into the speech, too. She won't like it if I mention her outright, so I'll word it so only the people who know will understand.'

Hmm. I should also tell my customers I was sorry for causing them trouble.

'The people I really ought to apologize to are my customers. Not Kim Yul. Whether Kim Yul accepts my apology or not, that's the end of it with him, but my customers could become my customers again anytime. I'll put some care into apologizing.'

On the day of the student council election...

I finally completed my masterpiece.

Good day, everyone.

I am Hwang Eunseo from Second-Year Class 5.

(Bow in greeting.)

Though I am not running in this election, I have come to the podium today because I have something to confess to you.

Students of Sinseo High!

I have done something terribly wrong.

I, Hwang Eunseo, participated in bullying a classmate.

(Pause for two seconds.)

I saw a classmate being bullied and did nothing about it. Rather than intervening, I joined the other kids and participated myself. I hit him, calling it "playing around." I insulted and mocked him, calling it "a joke."

(Pause.)

Students of Sinseo High.

Until now, I did not realize that was wrong. I thought it was simply playing around and joking among friends. But we must not hurt people by "playing around," and we must not mock people with "jokes."

That I did not even recognize my wrongdoing as wrongdoing.

That I hurt him without realizing it, and mocked him without realizing it.

That is my greatest wrongdoing.

A candidate in this student council election helped me realize what I had done wrong. I asked, "What did I do wrong?" I refused to listen, insisting there was nothing wrong with playing around and making a few jokes. But for two weeks, the candidate stayed in the classroom after school and spoke with me.

["You must apologize."]

["You can apologize."]

["If you apologize sincerely, your friend may forgive you..."]

Thank you.

(Bow to the class president.)

Thanks to the candidate's efforts and encouragement, I am able to stand here today, before the entire school, and confess the wrong I have done to my classmate.

Of course, my apology today will not erase the hurt he suffered.

(Look around the audience.)

All this time, I have caused trouble not only for my classmate, but for other friends and many people at this school. I thought carelessly and spoke carelessly. I believe many people must have been disappointed in me.

(Bow to the audience.)

I was wrong.

(Speak with head still lowered.)

I am sorry.

(Lower the script from this point onward.)

(Don't look at the script—make it feel sincere!)

(Must have this memorized perfectly! Important!)

From now on, I will never again "play around" or "joke" thoughtlessly.

I will always think, and think again.

I will not think from my own perspective, but from my friends' perspective, from the other person's perspective.

(Strengthen the storytelling. Refocus the audience's attention.)

The friend I ostracized came to school early every morning and went to the animal enclosure behind the school. There, he cared for the chicks and rabbits that no one else looked after.

He is diligent. He is a truly kind friend.

I feel deeply guilty for tormenting such a diligent, kind friend.

(Promise an action that feels concrete.)

Starting today, in my friend's place—no, alongside my friend.

I will come to school every morning at 6:30 and look after the animal enclosure. From today until the day I graduate, I will not miss a single day. I will not take weekends off or skip holidays.

(Why? A plausible reason.)

This is not only to apologize to my friend, but to reflect every single day on just how gravely I have wronged him.

(Heh.)

Apologizing once here will not erase what I did wrong. Nor should it. Students of Sinseo High! If I miss even a single day, please reprimand me.

I have not changed yet. But I wish to change. I would like to thank Candidate Number Two, who worked so hard to help me change myself.

(Might be better to mention the number rather than the name?)

Students of Sinseo High.

Candidate Number Two brought me here today. Persuaded me. Spent two weeks persuading a single student.

(Emphasize two.)

I believe this is not merely lip service to "communication," but true "communication." Communication means effort. Communication means investing time. Communication means changing the people around you.

(Absolutely no looking at the script. Deliver from memory.)

(Make eye contact with people individually.)

Number Two is a candidate who makes an effort.

A candidate who invests time in you.

A candidate who changes the friends around us.

(Wrap up.)

I do not know how you will remember your school days.

But I hope that, as much as possible, you will remember them happily. Remember them fondly. Yet for all of us to be happy and have fun, none of us should have to suffer.

For a school life that is even a little better.

For school days that remain even a little happier in our memories.

Please cast your vote for Number Two.

(Step away from the microphone.)

(Unamplified voice. Speak loudly.)

Kim Yul!

I'm sorry for everything!

I'm truly sorry!

I hope we can get along from now on!

(Bow as both an apology and a farewell.)

(Exit.)

Perfect.

"Hmm. Good. It's pretty decent..."

That was the class president's verdict after reading my apology. Decent? Was this merely decent? She needed her eyes checked. Badly. This wasn't decent—it was a masterpiece. How could she fail to recognize all the psychological techniques I'd packed into it?

Being the generous person I was, I'd have to put up with it. Ugh.

"There are quite a few parts you have to recite from memory. Can you manage?"

"Of course. I stayed up all night memorizing it. I could do it with my eyes closed."

"You're dependable, Hwang Eunseo. Looks like I'll have picked a good friend."

The class president patted my shoulder. That little shit.

"Then let's check the rehearsal first..."

The class president planned to display her campaign pledges and vision in a PowerPoint presentation. That required darkening the auditorium. Fortunately, pressing a button and waiting a little made the curtains move automatically, leaving the auditorium quite dark.

During rehearsal, I met my girlfriend's eyes.

"... Hmm."

She didn't even acknowledge me. But I deliberately bowed my head, adopting an apologetic posture toward her. Her eyes widened as though she hadn't expected that.

'Just wait.'

I smiled inwardly.

'Today is Hwang Eunseo's comeback day.'

The time for the election speeches drew near.

The entire student body gathered in the auditorium. It was packed. My girlfriend paced back and forth at the rear, apparently anxious.

The class president, on the other hand, was composed. She sat upright in her chair as if she wasn't the least bit nervous. Even I was a little nervous. How steely was her heart?

"Hey, aren't you nervous?"

"No."

The class president murmured quietly.

"Only people who aren't prepared enough get nervous. Do you have any idea how much... how much I've prepared for today? How often I've fantasized about a stage like this, a day like this? There's no way I'd ruin it with something as trivial as nerves."

Her voice was cold.

"..."

For a moment, a chill ran down the back of my neck. That was how icy her voice was. We'd been spending time together after school for days, but this was the first time I'd heard her speak like that.

'What's her problem? She's not acting like herself either.'

As I stood there awkwardly, feeling I'd been rebuffed for no reason, someone approached us.

"U-um."

A familiar face.

"We're about to start... If you have a USB drive to submit..."

The broadcasting club president, who had tried to threaten me not long ago, fidgeted nervously. When our eyes met, the club president hunched up. Hah. Probably realized how harshly I'd been treated.

"Yes, here."

The class president handed over a USB drive.

The broadcasting club president took it with trembling hands.

"I-I just need to put up the file on this, right...?"

"Right. Just do it exactly as in the [rehearsal]."

"Exactly as in the rehearsal... Then..."

"Then your job is done."

The class president stared up at the broadcasting club president.

"Why? Do you think you'll have more business with us?"

"No! N-none! I was just asking. Sorry! Good luck!"

The broadcasting club president hurried down off the stage with the USB drive. Below it was an array of broadcasting equipment, including a laptop and projector, dizzying just to look at.

'... What's going on?'

That behavior was awfully suspicious. The club president had always been odd, but had never stuttered that badly.

"We will now hear from the principal."

But there was no time to investigate the suspicious behavior. The principal and the chair of the election committee—last year's student council president was serving as its representative—rambled on in succession. The auditorium, noisy with the entire student body gathered inside, eventually fell quiet.

"Now, will Candidate Number One please come forward?"

My girlfriend gave her speech first.

As the class president had predicted, my girlfriend threw out campaign promises left and right. Every last one cost money. But she was rich enough to fulfill all those promises, and most students knew it well.

'Simple, but powerful.'

My girlfriend left the stage to thunderous applause.

'It's fine. If I act well, we'll win. No, the class president doesn't even need to win. I just need to do well. What matters is apologizing to Kim Yul in front of the entire school. Then the kids will think [that's enough]... '

I took a deep breath.

"Now, will Candidate Number Two please come forward?"

"..."

I looked back.

The class president was watching.

She nodded to me.

'Good.'

Let's go.

'I'll put my heart and soul into this performance.'

I stepped onto the stage. With every step, the weight of the gazes clinging to me grew heavier. My heart pounded. I desperately suppressed its racing.

WHIRRR

The thick curtains moved, blocking the sunlight. Dark shadows enveloped the auditorium. As the broadcasting club president adjusted the projector, a clear light illuminated the stage. Dust motes glittered in the air along the beam.

Hundreds of gazes.

Hundreds of breaths.

"Good day, everyone."

I slowly opened my mouth.

"I am Hwang Eunseo from Second-Year Class 5."

And then.

"Though I am not running in this election, I have come to the podium today because I have something to confess to you."

What followed was nothing short of a magnificent speech.

'Oh.'

Once I began setting the mood, my nerves vanished as if washed away. No, I was still nervous. But the excitement of performing overwhelmed that tension, freeing my tongue.

'It's working.'

My voice rose and fell exactly as I wished.

'It's working!'

My expressions weren't awkward either.

I could feel my facial muscles moving naturally.

'Fuck! It's actually working!'

Come to think of it, I'd filmed countless videos. I'd played director and staged Playing with Kim Yul. Those had indisputably been performances, too. Works of art. I'd become better at acting than anyone else at Sinseo Middle and High School.

"Students of Sinseo High! Until now, I did not realize that was wrong...!"

Bullying was a provocative subject. With my acting skills added to it, even the third-years who hadn't cared about the speeches were all looking at me.

"I was wrong."

All the students were looking at me.

"I am sorry."

Their breathing felt tangible, as though it had become a current I could grasp.

"I have not changed yet. But I wish to change!"

Look. Look at me. Hwang Eunseo wasn't dead yet. He wouldn't die.

I'd stupidly let an audio file leak, but that was a mistake. I could cover for my mistakes beautifully, just like this. I was an incredible person. When I turned my head, wasn't even my girlfriend watching me with a dumbfounded expression?

"Please, I ask you to cast your vote for Number Two."

I stepped three paces away from the microphone and shouted.

"Kim Yul!"

Certain of victory.

"I'm sorry for everything! I'm truly sorry!"

I bowed my head toward the students of Second-Year Class 5.

"I hope we can get along from now on!"

Stillness.

A small sound broke the auditorium's silence.

CLAP

Applause came from the direction in which I had bowed.

CLAP CLAP, CLAP, CLAP

Kim Yul was standing and clapping. Yes. Kim Yul. The very person I had apologized to, the person who would forgive me, was giving me a standing ovation. Though his expression was cold and blank, and his applause wasn't enthusiastic, a standing ovation could mean only one thing.

Forgiveness!

Following Kim Yul's lead, the other students began applauding. The clapping spread easily. They applauded as though they'd seen a good performance, as though that was enough. Even the teachers were clapping.

'Hngh...!'

Tears flooded my face.

'Thank you!'

Not because I was glad Kim Yul had forgiven me. What did it matter whether recyclable trash forgave me? I had done it. I'd fallen into hell, but climbed back up through my own strength. That made me proud.

'Thank you, me! Thank you for not giving up! Well done!'

CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP

'Thank you, too!'

CLAP CLAP CLAP, CLAP, CLAP CLAP

'Thank you for being livestock swept along by the mood! Thank you! Keep being livestock! Even after I graduate, even after I enter society, even after I become an adult, stay livestock forever!'

I was grateful for everything in the world.

"Uh."

A sound came through the auditorium's speakers.

"Senior."

The applause showed little sign of subsiding. At first, the sound from the speakers was buried beneath the noise. But the broadcasting club president adjusted the volume, and it grew louder.

"Is it okay to film something like this?"

I wiped away my tears. I wasn't sure what was happening, but the broadcasting club president seemed to have put on a video. When I turned, a video was playing on the dark auditorium wall.

"Don't worry."

A familiar face appeared in it.

"We'll only pass it around among a few people, then delete it."

It was me.

"..."

Huh?

"Hello, dear customers. The Kim Yul TV you've all been waiting for is back again today. Oh, I've received lots of notes saying Kim Yul TV is a tacky name. I agree!"

An unreal scene played out.

In the video, I held a camcorder and filmed my own face. I filmed Kim Yul. This was before the [play] had properly begun. The kids were poking and prodding Kim Yul for fun.

"But I'm terrible at naming things. Haha. I'd appreciate it if you! Would send in notes with your own names for the series!"

Huh?

"All right, let's keep the introduction short. How are we going to play with Kim Yul today? Lots of you sent in entries. And among today's entrants, the glorious winner is... Da, da, da, da-da-da."

The entire student body gathered in the auditorium murmured.

"Queen!"

The teachers stared at the video.

"Congratulations! Ah, now I'll announce Queen's request. Let's move quickly. Quickly. Aha, prepare two banana milks. Grind a centipede into one, and into the other..."

My mind goes blank.

"Hwang Eunseo, you crazy fuck!"

Someone shouts.

My girlfriend's voice.

My girlfriend, who had returned to her seat after finishing her speech, is standing and screaming.

"Crazy bastard! Fucking lunatic! You goddamn..."

I couldn't make out my girlfriend's voice very well.

My mind was simply numb.

Instinctively, I turned to look at the broadcasting club president.

"..."

Head bowed low, the broadcasting club president was gripping the mouse connected to the laptop.

I turned my gaze again.