Chapter 224 - If (2)

3

[Now recruiting a manager for hunter Yoo Suha, World No. 1, S-Rank Hunter, Tyrant of the Tower of Babel.]

Yoo Suha frowned at the banner.

"Sujeong."

"Yes?"

"Assistant Manager Sujeong."

"Go ahead."

"Doesn't this kind of miss the point of the event?"

"Is there a problem?"

Ja Sujeong's expression was composed.

"I deliberately made it extravagant out of consideration for you, Mr. Yoo Suha, the attention whore of the century. Reporters will be here at the appointed time tomorrow, and they've even prepared feature articles on who will be selected as your right-hand person. Your face will grace the front pages of web portals for the next two weeks. How wonderful. Congratulations."

"Where the fuck did such a capable manager come from? Argh, shit, Sujeong. Your uncle here loves you to death! You know that, right?"

"You're hot. You're suffocating me. You're filthy. Please don't come any closer. If you do come closer, please don't breathe."

"Hey! How am I filthy?"

"You've been showing off three consecutive triple axels of vomit. Just how fragrant do you expect to smell?"

"Fuck. I should've showered..."

"So you don't like what the banner says?"

"No, it's not that I don't like it... Hang on."

Yoo Suha went into the guild's storeroom and came back with a can of paint.

"Heave-ho."

With the practiced movements of someone who had done his share of inking walls in his younger days, he swept his brush across the banner. As he kept painting, its original message disappeared beneath an entirely new jumble of words.

"Nice. Done. Fucking awesome."

"..."

[Now seeking a servant for the manager, of hunter Yoo Suha, World No. 1, S-Rank Hunter, Tyrant of the Tower of Babel.]

Ja Sujeong was briefly at a loss for words.

"Mr. Yoo Suha."

"Yeah."

"Guild Leader Yoo Suha."

"What?"

"The banner's message has changed completely."

"I told you. You're an assistant manager. Now that you've got the title, you should have a subordinate too."

Yoo Suha spoke with the confidence of someone reciting a self-evident truth.

"Some wet-behind-the-ears rookie comes waltzing in and expects the same treatment as the manager who's been taking care of me all this time? Huh? The working world isn't that easy, Assistant Manager Ja Sujeong."

"I see..."

"Seniority is absolute in our guild. I'll forever be His Majesty the Fucking All-Powerful Guild Leader. And you, Ja Sujeong, joined second, so you've got the right to boss the underlings around. Call the position manager or whatever the hell you want. Just pick yourself a hired hand. Someone with some muscle. Someone who can drive. Huh? Anyway, get yourself one damn good servant."

"Understood."

"Good. Then I'll, hmm... oh... Bleeuuurgh!"

The interviews were held on the very spot where Yoo Suha had thrown up for the fourth time that day.

Of course, Ja Sujeong had mopped it spotless, so the guild's tiles, which cost a hundred gold apiece, lived up to their price. They sparkled.

"What motivated you to apply for this position?"

Sitting in the interviewer's chair, Ja Sujeong looked at the applicants.

Their faces shone as brightly as the freshly cleaned tiles.

"I-I'm a hunter from East Asia, just like the Flame Emperor! East Asia can do it too! Inside the Tower, where everyone starts on equal footing, East Asia actually has the advantage! I've come here to prove that..."

"What a load of bullshit."

"Pardon?"

Ja Sujeong shook her head.

"Our Guild Leader hates his homeland. He hates the countries surrounding his homeland too. He hates the Earth those countries inhabit, and he hates the universe containing that Earth."

"... Pardon?"

"And I suspect he'll hate you too. Next."

Rejected.

"What motivated you to apply?"

"I've long admired the Flame Emperor from the bottom of my heart."

"What do you find appealing about him as a person?"

"First of all, his finely sculpted beauty, like a statue of Apollo, fills me with rapture."

"I've heard the Apollo statue comparison so often that my eardrums are practically ready to convulse at those words alone. But, well. Fine. This isn't an interview to assess your poetic sensibilities. Please continue."

"Above all, his beautiful heart, the way he worries about and cares for others..."

"Bullshit upon bullshit."

Rejected.

"Honestly, I applied because I want to sleep with the Flame Emperor."

"Is that so?"

"Yes. It is."

"..."

"..."

"Here. Please sign this document."

"What sort of document? Is it an acceptance form?"

"No. A nondisclosure agreement. Six top-tier hunters poured their skills into making it. If you divulge anything you hear here to anyone outside, approximately thirteen holes will open all over your body, and your life will go [Oh my! An exit! Time to scoot!] and run away from home. Or so I'm told."

"..."

"Will you sign?"

"I will."

"You really signed it."

"Yes, I really did."

"Then I'll tell you."

"I'm listening."

"Mr. Yoo Suha is impotent."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Pardon?"

"Impotent. Erectile dysfunction. Must I employ verbs and adjectives as well as nouns to explain it? Would you understand then?"

"N-no. I mean. I. That's... Uh..."

"Remember the thirteen holes."

"..."

"For the record, those thirteen holes do not include your eye sockets, nostrils, ear canals, belly button, pee hole, or asshole. There will be thirteen other holes entirely. Aren't you curious about the grand evolutionary possibilities your body holds in the realm of holes?"

"I won't breathe a word, even if it kills me."

"Next."

Rejected.

"I..."

And then.

"I, well... I mean, um."

A shabby man sat in the interview chair.

"Um, just once... Just once, I'd like to live breathing the same air as the person at the very top of this world."

Ja Sujeong looked at him.

"Why do you feel that way?"

"Because I think there's something... different... from where I live, from the life I'm living now. I don't really know, but something different. No, there is. There has to be."

"..."

"I-I don't have any talent, and all my skills are weird... So I can't climb [up there]. I won't be able to. But I can help someone who's climbing from beside them. No."

The man rose from his chair and bowed deeply.

"I truly want to help! Please let me be there too! I'll do any menial work you need! As for pay, um, enough to keep me from starving or dying out on the street will be plenty! Please, I'm begging you!"

The girl looks down at the man.

Ja Sujeong looks at Kim Gongja.

"What do you think of the Flame Emperor's personality?"

Kim Gongja blinks.

"Uh..."

"Please be honest. Truly honest. I need to understand an applicant's way of thinking as accurately as possible. If you lie here, you might get accepted for now, but you'll be kicked out a day or two later anyway. Let's save each other some time."

"... A little."

"A little?"

"He has a bad personality."

"Mm-hmm."

For the first time since the interviews began, Ja Sujeong propped up her chin.

"In what way?"

"First of all, um, he doesn't like being called the Flame Emperor, right? But he doesn't really mean that, does he? He's posing... Because people cheer about how cool and amazing and awesome he is, shouting 'Flame Emperor! Flame Emperor!' Then he acts all cool and hits them with [Whoever came up with that nickname is a fucking moron]..."

"And when he does?"

"'I hate my epithet.' With that one line, he puts every single person praising him completely beneath him. His fans love that too, saying it's so cool... A perfect virtuous cycle... No, is this a vicious cycle...?"

"Hmm."

Ja Sujeong interlaced her fingers and rested her chin on them.

This, too, was a posture she had not taken since the interviews began.

"Interesting."

"Pardon?"

"I understand your thinking. Even so, Mr. Kim Gongja, can you work for Mr. Yoo Suha?"

"Ah, yes. I..."

"He may be a far nastier person than you think."

"..."

"If you join our guild and work alongside him, you'll see his various sides whether you like it or not. Depending on what happens, the outcome, and your reaction, you might be killed to keep you quiet."

"..."

"I'll ask again. Even so, can you work for Mr. Yoo Suha?"

Kim Gongja thought for a long time.

After thinking for a long time, he spoke.

"I came here to work under Mr. Yoo Suha. But I won't be working for his sake."

"Oh?"

"If he's far worse than I thought... I don't know. I'd probably try to stop him. Even then, I might give him at least one more chance to regain my trust. I have a very strong tendency to do that..."

"Hmm."

"So I'm sorry, but it's difficult for me to give you an affirmative answer to your question."

"Even more interesting."

Ja Sujeong tilted her head.

"Why should I hire someone like you as a manager?"

"... Because."

The man looks up at the girl.

Kim Gongja looks at Ja Sujeong.

"You're probably just like me."

"..."

"You're not someone who works for the Flame Emperor's sake, but someone who works under him. Since becoming his manager, you've never once tried to dress up his personality. You haven't waged a public opinion campaign. You haven't hired paid shills either. So..."

"I'm listening."

"You're looking for someone to be your ally, not someone to be the Flame Emperor's loyal servant."

Ja Sujeong smiled.

"Accepted."

And then.

"What? F-rank? Sujeong. I'm pretty sure I specifically told you last night to find a hired hand with some muscle. Why'd you bring me trash? The recycling bin's over there. Go throw him out."

"For the record, recycling day is Wednesday. Today is Monday."

"How the hell am I supposed to know that!"

"Give him two days, Mr. Yoo Suha. Torment him for those two days. Then make your judgment."

"No, judgment my ass. He doesn't even look much younger than me..."

Yoo Suha glared at Kim Gongja, looking displeased.

"If he's still F-rank at that age, you can pretty much see how his life's going to turn out. Trash. Absolute trash. Does the odd part-time job, takes a stroll through the hunting grounds on the second floor, and gets his daily bread from whatever items he picks up on his walks. Holes up in his room and fiddles around on the internet. Wow, shit, I'm giving myself goosebumps just saying it. Hey, Ja Sujeong. You seriously want me to shove this guy into my field of vision for two whole days? Looking after my eye health is part of a manager's job... Aaaaargh! Fuck, what was that!"

"Tangerine juice."

"Why the fuck are you shooting tangerine juice into my eyes!"

"They say tangerines are good for your eyes, Mr. Yoo Suha."

"This fucking bitch is the kind of lunatic who'd crack your skull wide open and stuff ginseng inside because it's good for you! Hey, I've been going 'Sujeong, Sujeong' and spoiling you lately, and now you're getting fucking uppity? Want to die? You think I can't kill you?"

"Yes."

"Fuck!"

And then.

"Still, this bastard's pretty fun to torment."

"Hah, haaah, hah-hah, uuuugh, haaah..."

"Look at him, stubbornly dragging himself all the way to the thirty-first floor when I told him he didn't have to follow. Why's he doing that? It's hilarious to watch, though. Huh? Did you pick this trash on purpose to give me some entertainment?"

"Yes."

"I sure knew how to pick a manager. Assistant Manager Ja Sujeong. No, Vice President Ja Sujeong. Our Sujeong deserves a vice president title too! I'll mine some Arimentalium and make you one hell of a nameplate. Vice President Ja Sujeong. President Sujeong. Doesn't that have a nice ring to it? Sujeong, president—S and J, S and J in Korean. Our Sujeong was born to be president."

"Haaaaah, hah, hah, hup, haaaaah...!"

"Gongja is dying."

"Let him die. That's a blessing for him too."

"You have a point. Bless you, Gongja."

"Lots of blessings to you, part-timer."

"Fuck..."

And then.

Time passes.