Chapter 49 - How to Face the World (3)

“L-light...?”

The temple paladin stammered.

The brilliant white light pouring from the jewel subsided a little, enough that we no longer had to close our eyes.

“A person is light? What do you mean by that?”

“I told you... He is simply... simply light...”

The lizardfolk mage sounded close to tears.

I wasn't particularly confident about reading lizardfolk expressions, but at least this one was easy to understand. The mage was deeply moved. Tears like morning dew brimmed in those slit-pupiled, serpentine eyes.

“Can't you recognize this radiant soul...?”

“N-no, I can't.”

“Why can't you? Is something wrong with your eyeballs? Or is it your thick skull...?”

The paladin commander looked uncomfortable. His intelligence had suddenly been called into question.

“No, what I'm saying is, I have no idea what you mean by light.”

“Ahh.”

The lizardfolk mage sniffled, then whipped around to face the paladin commander.

“This is why you temple bastards are such morons...!”

“W-what?”

“This gentleman, do you understand? He is light! Completely, utterly light, so why can't you see it? Do you have no eyes? No brains? Pure white... Not just any light, but pure white light!”

“I-isn't light white to begin with?”

“Ahh, this is exactly what I mean! There's no talking to you inferior humans!”

The lizardfolk mage pounded her chest in frustration. The blows thudded heavily. Any more irritated, and she looked ready to bash his skull instead of her own chest. The paladin commander must have sensed it too, because he meekly clamped his mouth shut.

“Someone with a soul like this would never lie to us!”

The lizardfolk mage's voice even choked up.

“Even if he did lie, it would all be for our sake! Foolish humans. Those with corrupted souls like yours need only quietly obey his words. He truly is the founding emperor's heir... No, he must be the goddess's apostle!”

The lizardfolk mage looked at me, as though seeking agreement.

She wasn't the only one. The entire army crowding the acacia-lined forest path held its breath and stared at me.

“Hmm.”

I confidently folded my arms.

“Indeed.”

With the most solemn expression I could muster, I declared,

“I am none other than the goddess's apostle.”

“I knew it!”

Murmurs spread among the soldiers. Following the imperial general, even the mage from the mermaids' waterfall had vouched for my identity. Three people can make a tiger. If three people claim there's a tiger where none exists, people will believe it's really there.

“They say he's light.”

“What's light?”

“Well, he certainly glowed. His sword was flashing too...”

“They say some emperor of Aegim or other used that sword.”

“Then he must be from some noble family.”

Most of the soldiers had remained suspicious even after seeing the Holy Guardian Sword. Now their eyes were asking, ‘Could it be?’

Of course, I still needed one more person to make my tiger.

“No! I still don't understand!”

The paladin commander stepped forward.

“Let us say he is the founding emperor's heir, and that he is light! But why has that young man... No, why has this gentleman come here in person to block our way? Have you all forgotten? We have our own mission!”

He emphatically pointed over my shoulder.

“We must burn that place!”

Estelle's hometown.

The place Hungry Ghost called paradise stood there.

“His Holiness the Pope was not concerned solely with the witch. The heretics who follow her! They too cannot escape divine punishment! If you truly are... the goddess's apostle, then you should lead the way in carrying out that punishment!”

“...”

Someone gripped the hem of my clothes tightly from behind. Hungry Ghost. I didn't need to turn around to know she was terrified.

'It's all right.'

I kept my arms folded, perfectly composed.

'The best bullshit is ninety percent truth and ten percent lies!'

Recalling the attendant spirit's advice, I slowly began to speak.

“Paladin of the temple, mind your words. It is not for you to determine how divine punishment shall be carried out. The punishment these wicked creatures deserve is mine alone to decide.”

“What...?”

“I have gathered up all evil, and divine punishment has already been administered.”

I spoke quietly.

“To administer divine punishment in the mortal world is my burden.”

“B-burden...?”

“I shall show you.”

I raised my right hand.

My shadow writhed, spreading across the acacia-lined path in an instant.

GROOOAR!

Skeletons began crawling out of the shadow.

The soldiers screamed. The paladin commander's face turned deathly pale, and the other commanders drew their weapons in alarm. Meanwhile, the skeletons multiplied from dozens to hundreds, then from hundreds to thousands.

Before long, the continent's army was completely surrounded.

Rebirth of a Hundred Ghosts.

Four thousand skeletons rose again.

GROOOOAR!

UURGH! ROOOAR!

The monsters roared fiercely, waiting only for my command.

As Hungry Ghost's presence made clear, I still had Rebirth of a Hundred Ghosts active. I could summon my hundred ghosts as much as I liked.

But it would look rather different to the continent's people, who knew none of that.

“D-demons!”

The soldiers were utterly terrified by the sight before them. Four thousand monsters had suddenly emerged—and from the ground, no less, as though escaping hell.

It was quite literally a picture of hell.

“D-dear God.”

The paladin commander trembled.

“What are these dreadful things...?”

“They are my burden.”

I placed a hand on Hungry Ghost's head. She flinched but said nothing.

“Look. In this vast world, could the witch possibly be the only evil being? Each of these is an evildoer I have gathered up, a demon to rival the witch.”

“A-all these monsters...?”

“Indeed.”

I narrowed my eyes and gazed at the distant sky, like a hero bound to a tragic fate.

“The goddess commanded me: Vanquish the evil overflowing upon the earth in my stead! Vanquish it and gather it up! And so she bestowed this power upon me.”

My voice naturally grew solemn.

“To vanquish all evil in the world is my mission. To gather demons into hell is my burden. You are now looking upon my hell.”

“My goodness...”

The lizardfolk mage sighed. Tears were once again overflowing from her eyes.

“All these beings are evildoers to rival the witch...?”

I nodded.

“Indeed.”

“W-without our knowing... you, the goddess's apostle, have been all alone, by yourself, punishing the evil rampant in this world...?”

“Indeed.”

“Good heavens. When no one even acknowledges you... Such a vast hell. How could you, a mere human, bear it alone...? Apostle of the goddess, are you all right...?”

“Hmm.”

Arms still folded, I dipped my chin.

“This is my burden!”

With dignity, solemnity, and utter seriousness, I continued.

“You need not punish the witch yourselves. Nor need you punish her servants. I have already collected every last evildoer. They shall groan and suffer forever beneath my shadow. I am their hell!”

“Ahh... O Light...!”

The lizardfolk mage crumpled limply.

“Even this foolish woman finally understands why you shone with such pure white light! Where we could not see, you were constantly saving our continent!”

I nodded once more.

“Indeed I was!”

The best bullshit was ninety percent truth and ten percent lies.

Though the process was riddled with lies, the conclusion was correct. Really, didn't that make it all right?

“You bastard...”

The attendant spirit looked proud.

“I have nothing left to teach you! Go forth from this mountain!”

'Now, now, this is all thanks to your advice, Master. How could your unworthy disciple leave the mountain?'

“No, Zombie. Your talent for being an asshole has already far surpassed mine...”

The attendant spirit sighed mournfully.

“Your master is as innocent as a child. I simply cannot handle a son of a bitch like you...”

'You're too modest. I still have much to learn from your vicious personality. Take that back.'

“Boy, have you never heard that the pupil surpasses the master?”

'Have you never heard that no disciple is better than his master?'

Master and disciple praised each other's character.

In this day and age, when human relationships had grown so cold, here was a truly beautiful, heartwarming bond between teacher and student.

“... At any rate.”

I withdrew Rebirth of a Hundred Ghosts.

The four thousand skeletons swiftly slipped away. The continent's people stared dumbfounded as the monsters sank beneath the shadows like sinking ships.

“Do not worry about the witch or her servants. As long as I am here, they shall remain trapped in my hell, suffering eternally. This is the goddess's will, and this is her divine punishment.”

“...”

“Surely you do not intend to reject the goddess's supreme will?”

The paladin commander shifted uneasily.

“B-but... O Apostle. Are these cruel demons truly safe? What I mean is... should they escape into the world, the devastation would be beyond measure...”

“I see.”

I nodded slowly.

“You wish to ascertain whether I truly keep these demons securely confined.”

“F-forgive me, but yes...”

“Very well.”

SNAP!

I snapped my fingers.

One skeleton that had not yet been dismissed approached, standing tall between the paladin commander and me. The commander flinched and retreated two or three steps.

“O-O Apostle. Why is this skeleton...?”

“I shall dispel your doubts thoroughly.”

I patted the skeleton's shoulder.

“Ghost, regain your memories.”

It writhed!

Filthy water rose from the skeleton's shadow. Climbing its snow-white bones, the water took shape. It formed muscles. Flesh. Clothes.

After a brief blink, a handsome man stood there instead of a pile of bones.

“Aaargh! W-what the fuck!”

A handsome man with a rather foul mouth, admittedly.

“What the... Ugh, hey, you son of a bitch! What fucking grudge do you have against me to do this to me? What the fuck did I ever do!”

His eyes blazed.

Yes.

I had restored the Flame Emperor Yoo Suha's memories.

“You crazy bastard! You fucking asshole! I'll kill you! You worthless piece of shit, how dare you do this to me! Whatever it takes, I'm going to fucking end you!”

“As you can see.”

I rested a hand on Yoo Suha's shoulder and turned to the commanders. He tried to thrash his arms and legs, but it was useless. Whatever he did, defying me, his master, was impossible.

“This man too is an evildoer to rival the witch.”

I assumed a melancholy expression.

“No, one could call him a demon even more brutal than the witch. The witch was born a monster, but this man was born human, yet committed appalling evil. He burned anything that stood in his way...”

“I'll kill you! I'm going to kill you!”

There wasn't really any need to explain.

“Fuck...! Hey! I'll rip you fucking...!”

Profanity flooded the acacia-lined path. My ghost, Yoo Suha, opened his mouth and unleashed every curse in existence.

The more he swore, the paler the commanders grew. In less than sixty seconds, Yoo Suha described no fewer than fifteen ways he would kill me. Impressive.

“And what the fuck are these things! Hey, lizard! Long-ears! What the fuck are you staring at! You fuckers must really want me to kill you...”

After another sixty seconds, his curses had spread beyond me to everyone present. A little later, to their parents and families too. As a bonus, he added roughly ten more methods of murder.

“S-such depravity...! Such darkness...!”

The lizardfolk mage recoiled in horror.

“We don't even need to use the wise sovereign's jewel. That man truly has a demon's soul!”

“Indeed...”

The elf ranger captain groaned.

“I've seen many foolish humans throughout my long life... but it's been a long time since I saw one so vile and wicked...”

Ohh.

Rejoice, Yoo Suha.

At last, even another world recognizes your greatness.

“Zombie, isn't this disrespecting the dead?”

'It is.'

“Isn't that a bit much?”

'Yoo Suha deserves at least this much. Besides, Mr. Sword Emperor, you're the one who called me the Zombie King. What's strange about a Zombie King putting a zombie-like bastard to work?'

“Hmm.”

The attendant spirit nodded deeply.

“Now that you put it that way, you're right. I cannot refute that logic...”

'Right?'

“Your talent for being an asshole really has far surpassed mine, Zombie.”

That was merely a minority opinion.

SNAP!

I snapped my fingers again.

“Dance.”

“What, fu-, wha...”

The instant I gave the order, Yoo Suha began tap-dancing. His heels skipped merrily over the flower-strewn path.

TAP, TAP-TAP!

Perhaps he'd spent some time clubbing back in the day, because his dancing was fairly watchable.

“No, what, w-wait! What the fu...”

“Dance some more.”

SNAP!

Yoo Suha's dance changed from tap to jitterbug. Fortunately or unfortunately, he had a talent for dancing. As soon as he finished the jitterbug, he launched straight into a Cossack dance.

“I'll kill you!”

Yoo Suha howled while performing his Cossack dance.

“I-I'll fucking kill you! Son of a bitch! You, fuck, you! You! I really will! I'll make sure!”

Again, he was performing a Cossack dance.

As you'd understand if you saw it for yourself, nothing said during a Cossack dance is remotely frightening, no matter how foul the profanity or how dreadful the curse.

Even if Hitler came back to life and began a speech, nobody would take it seriously if he were doing a Cossack dance.

Such is the power of the Cossack dance.

“F-fuck...! Fuck, fuck...!”

Had Yoo Suha himself finally felt the power of the Cossack dance?

Realizing that nothing he said had any effect, he simply kept saying fuck. And diligently performing his dance steps.

It made for killer background music and visuals.

“Hmm.”

I turned to the paladin commander.

“Are you still worried?”

“...”

The commander's mouth hung open blankly.

“The demons can never disobey my commands. Rest assured.”

At last, the paladin commander slowly knelt.

“O Apostle of the goddess... May I ask your name...?”

His voice trembled.

The entire continental army was looking at me. Meeting their gazes confidently, I folded my arms again.

“My name is Gongja.”

The paladin commander bowed his head.

“I shall obey your words, Lord Gongja...!”

The commander who had insisted on burning the village until the very end had abandoned the attack.

Then,

[Congratulations.]

A welcome voice rang out.

[Normal stage cleared.]

[You have cleared the hidden quest, ‘Hero of the Frozen World’!]

A rather less welcome voice rang out too.

“Y-you absolute lunatic!”

The owner of that voice rolled around, clutching his belly.

“You crazy bastard! You're probably the first person to clear a quest like this! No, you are the first! Wow, where did a lunatic like you crawl out from? Hey, I acknowledge you! Kim Gongja!”

'Acknowledge me as what?'

“You are... the light of all lunatics!”

That was a minority opinion.