Chapter 54 - The Ultimate Fan (2)

“Hah.”

The Witch sighed worriedly.

“Just don't go too far. I can cover for most mistakes. But if you really go off the rails, even I can't control the press.”

“Nobody's better behaved than me. You know that. I'm a prophet, okay? I have a pretty good idea what the most model-student answer would be.”

“... Can I really trust you?”

“Aw, of course.”

I took the microphone from the Witch. She seemed worried about me right up until the moment she handed it over, but I really was fine.

I had a [secret weapon].

“Ah, aah.”

I gently cleared my throat. My voice spread across the square through the speakers.

“Hello, everyone. I'm the hunter who received the epithet Death King. It's a pleasure to meet you.”

CLICK! CLICK!

The light formed a magnificent wave. I wasn't particularly flustered. Had being surrounded by that crowd yesterday served as a sort of vaccination? I weathered the barrage of flashes with more composure than I'd expected.

“Your name was... John Evans?”

“Yes, that's correct.”

The young reporter stared straight at me, his eyes blazing with journalistic zeal. His gaze burned as though he wouldn't miss a single move I made and was determined to expose my true identity.

It was quite an intimidating stare.

“Hmm.”

Facing that gaze, at this very moment, there was just one thought occupying my mind.

“I believe all those concerns arise from my own shortcomings.”

A lesson in what not to do.

Just don't turn out like the Flame Emperor!

“Pardon?”

The reporter blinked, microphone in hand. He probably hadn't expected me to respond this way. Meanwhile, I pictured the Flame Emperor's smarmy face and continued.

“Let me say it again. I believe all those concerns arise from my own shortcomings.”

My secret weapon was extremely simple.

'Just say the opposite of whatever the Flame Emperor would say!'

What great interviewing skills could I possibly have?

I wasn't like the Witch. I had no knack for captivating a crowd with a speech. I had neither talent nor technique, nor even experience.

But there was one thing.

I knew something nobody else did.

The interviews of the rudest fucking hunter in the world!

'If I do the exact opposite of the Flame Emperor, I'll do decently at worst.'

I'd been a Flame Emperor fan for almost ten years. Thanks to that, my head was practically a library—a library recording all the atrocities he'd committed and outrageous things he'd said.

What if the person holding the microphone now were the Flame Emperor instead of me?

He would have said this.

「We cleared up to floor twenty because I'm so fucking great, you little shits.」

「I busted my ass clearing those floors, and what? What do you want me to do about it? Of course the items and experience I earned there are mine. Hey, Mr. Presstitute. If I don't take them, who the fuck should I give them to? Huh?」

「Your daddy?」

I wasn't making this up on the spot.

He'd actually done it!

'That's why the Witch went deathly pale at the press conference before I regressed...'

It was known as the [Your Daddy] incident.

Naturally, the press conference blew up spectacularly. Reporters' curses went out live, and by the time the Witch hurriedly ended the conference, it was already too late.

An absolute catastrophe.

The live broadcast was hastily cut off, but the tragedy did not end there.

Independent streamers broadcast every moment as Yoo Suha fired back at the reporters, spewing insults about their parents, their in-laws, filthy curses—every form of abuse in existence.

'They don't call him the Flame Fuckup for nothing.'

Rumor had it that the Witch was bedridden for a week afterward.

The [Your Daddy] incident probably made her utterly sick of the hunter named Yoo Suha. Maybe it was also why the big guilds parted ways with him.

'In the past, the Flame Emperor royally fucked up this press conference.'

In other words.

'I just have to say the exact opposite of the Flame Fuckup.'

Turn the worst upside down, and you get the best!

Recalling Yoo Suha's collected outrageous remarks, I gripped the microphone.

「We cleared up to floor twenty because I'm so fucking great, you little shits.」

“I know there's a great deal of public excitement about me. But I'm overrated. Without the help of the Black Dragon leader and the Sword Star here, I could never have cleared up to floor twenty alone.”

「I busted my ass clearing those floors, and what? What do you want me to do about it?」

“Of course, I take pride in having done everything I could. With zero casualties as my goal, I put in truly painstaking effort. But I don't consider that a ‘sacrifice’ on my part. It was simply what I ought to do as a human being. What I ought to do as a hunter. Above all... I did it because I wanted to.”

「Of course the items and experience I earned there are mine. Hey, Mr. Presstitute. If I don't take them, who the fuck should I give them to? Huh?」

“That's why I have no intention of asserting my rights. It's also why I entrusted all rights to floors eleven through nineteen to the guild leaders. You asked whether I was monopolizing floor twenty... No. Floor twenty is a sort of [greenbelt]. The Tower's residents who originally lived there will continue to live on floor twenty. I'll be content merely to serve as its administrator.”

「Your daddy?」

“That concludes my answer, Mr. Evans.”

“...”

“Do you have any other questions?”

The young man who had burned with journalistic zeal stumbled over his words.

“Uh... No.”

Good.

My mind raced even faster now.

How would the Flame Emperor have reacted to that reporter's answer?

「Yeah, if you've got nothing to say, fuck off, you American pig.」

I could picture it perfectly.

And he'd probably show off his mighty middle finger for good measure.

'Let's see. If I say the exact opposite of that...'

I opened my mouth.

“Thank you. Oh, if anyone else has questions, I'll take a few now.”

Silence briefly fell over the square.

But it was very brief indeed.

“Over here! Illusory Gate Newspaper!”

“Please take my question, Death King! Tower Daily News!”

“I'm from the Babel Tower Broadcasting System!”

“Death King!”

The reporters all raised their arms. The instant they realized I was someone they could talk to, they pounced, eager to turn me into a story.

They looked like ducklings eagerly waving their beaks at their mother.

'Wow.'

Looking at the press corps, I marveled inwardly.

'... This what-not-to-do strategy is fucking awesome!'

Good old Flame Fuckup. The most obnoxious psychopath in the world.

He was always my compass, in the worst sense of the word.

Even now, that compass told me exactly how to respond.

「What? Illusory Gate Newspaper? I'm never giving you an interview. You're all a bunch of old farts. Just opening your paper reeks of old people. Hey, if you're going to call yourselves reporters, at least wash yourselves.」

Recalling the Flame Emperor's quotations, I said,

“... Then let's start with the reporter from the Illusory Gate Newspaper.”

The effect was tremendous.

The conference ended in triumph. An unqualified success, quite literally. Questions and answers went back and forth for over an hour, yet I didn't make even one ordinary slip of the tongue.

In fact, even bringing the conference to an end wasn't easy. The reporters doggedly pressed on, trying to squeeze out just one more line for their articles. In the end, the Witch had to take my microphone away and soothe the press corps.

“Everyone! I understand your desire to learn a little more about our new hero. Unfortunately, however, we have very little time left.”

The Witch pointed up at the sky.

[00:05:27]

Before we knew it, the clock of light had drawn close to zero hours, zero minutes, zero seconds.

Only a little over five minutes remained before the new stage opened!

There could be no better excuse to end the press conference.

“After a night's rest, we will devote ourselves to clearing the Tower again today. Please continue to follow us with your keen interest and warm support. Once again, we will do our utmost to achieve our goal of zero casualties.”

“Awww...”

Disappointed groans rose here and there.

Just when it seemed the conference would end like that, one brave soul thrust an arm into the air.

“B-Black Dragon leader! Please, just one final question!”

“Yes, we'll take this one question and then conclude the conference. Really.”

“Black Dragon leader and Death King! What is the relationship between you two?”

At that moment, everyone's eyes lit up.

Pure curiosity. A touch of slyness.

Since the dawn of history, nothing had piqued human curiosity more than romance. The reporters probably wanted to link the Witch and me that way.

“Hmm...”

The Witch glanced back at me.

Would mischievous be the word for it?

A faint hint of playfulness lingered in her eyes.

“Our relationship... Let's see.”

The Witch slowly parted her lips.

Then came a remark that would go down as a legendary quote.

“... We're more than friends. We're comrades-in-arms.”

A stir ran through the crowd.

The reporters murmured among themselves. Should they focus on “more than friends”? Or on “comrades-in-arms”? Nobody seemed able to decide.

Even the person who'd asked the question went wide-eyed.

“A-Are you saying you're more than friends?”

“Well.”

The Witch spoke with perfect composure.

“As I said, we're more than friends. We're comrades-in-arms. That's all. I hope there's no room for confusion or misunderstanding.”

“By confusion or misunderstanding, do you mean...!”

“That concludes today's press conference hosted by Black Dragon.”

The Witch rose from her seat.

“Once again, my sincere thanks to everyone for your interest and support. This has been the Black Witch, Guild Leader of Black Dragon. I wish you all a wonderful day.”

The reporters sprang to their feet too.

“B-Black Dragon leader! You can't just leave like this!”

“Please elaborate on what you just said!”

“Black Dragon leader!”

“Death King, what do you think of that statement? Death King!”

Wow.

The reporters clamored until their voices grew hoarse. Yet the Witch remained at ease throughout. She grinned as she guided me backstage.

“Let's get going.”

“Uh.”

I glanced back at the press corps. They all looked ready to cry.

“... You're just going to stir things up like this and walk away?”

“I'm a woman who watches dramas.”

The Witch gently closed her left eye.

A playful wink.

“You have to set things ablaze at the end to leave a lasting impression.”

That remark certainly offered a glimpse of the seasoned expertise of a guild leader who reigned over the Tower.

Backstage.

We walked until we were out of public view. Only then did the Witch let out a great “Whew!” and seize both my hands.

“That was perfect, Death King!”

The Witch's eyes sparkled.

I wondered if she really was the same person who'd kept such a composed expression throughout the press conference.

“When did you learn how to give interviews? I'm so proud of you!”

“Uh...”

I just did the opposite of whatever the Flame Emperor did.

“Your humility was a particular plus! People love heroes, but there's something they love even more. A hero who bows his head to them! Of course, humility shouldn't go so far that it becomes groveling... but you were just right. Goodness. The balance was exquisite!”

I just said the opposite of whatever the Flame Emperor said.

“I had no idea you were talented at handling the press too. Ah, what on earth have you been doing all this time, only showing up now? You clear the Tower for us, you build a great public image for us—I feel like the burden on my shoulders is ten times lighter...!”

“...”

What was this?

Seeing her this happy made me feel a little guilty.

I couldn't bring myself to say I'd merely imitated a psychopath in reverse.

“If there's anything you want, just tell me. Money? Fame? Power? Or a lover? Don't worry. If it exists in the Tower, I'll put it in your hands.”

“I'm managing to get most of what I want, so I'm fine... But, Black Dragon leader, what was that ‘more than friends, less than comrades-in-arms’ remark earlier? You really startled me.”

“Oh, that?”

The Witch shrugged, her expression dismissive.

“It was nothing. I just put up a little smoke screen on purpose.”

“A smoke screen?”

“Yes. The press will go digging for romantic scandals that don't exist anyway. That will damage your image, so it's better to put up a smoke screen and focus their attention on you and me instead.”

“Really...?”

I'd never dealt with the press, so I couldn't tell whether that was right or wrong.

The Witch smiled faintly.

“Don't worry, Death King. I've been managing public opinion on my own for years now. Trust me completely and leave this sort of thing to me. Leave specialized work to the specialist. Understood?”

“Oh, yes.”

Strange.

I couldn't put my finger on it, but something felt odd... Yes, it was like being stalked by an unknown monster in a hunting ground. But this wasn't a hunting ground. It was Babylon, the First-Floor City. There couldn't possibly be any monsters here.

Was I imagining it?

“Tsk, tsk, tsk.”

The attendant spirit clicked his tongue.

“Pathetic, Zombie. Thou hast a head but no brain within it. How could I call thee anything but a zombie? This fucker calls himself a hunter, yet doesn't even know he's walking into a death trap. Good grief.”

'Oh, what are you talking about now?'

“Pathetic! Utterly pathetic!”

The attendant spirit pounded his chest in frustration. He already looked fearsome, and beating his chest made him look exactly like a gorilla.

It was around then.

“Wooooo!”

A tremendous roar erupted beyond the stage, from the direction of the square. It was a little different from the cheers they'd directed at us.

“Ten!”

“Nine!”

“Eight!”

A countdown.

I stopped talking with the Witch and looked up at the sky.

[00:00:05]

Before we knew it, the twenty-first-floor stage was about to open.

“Three!”

“Two!”

“One!”

And then.

[00:00:00]

The beams of light forming the numbers in the sky scattered in every direction. The people's cheers grew louder still. As though answering those cheers, the light gathered again to form the figure of a goddess.

[Warriors.]

In the blue heavens, the goddess's image parted its lips.

[You who climb the Tower.]

[Congratulations on breaking through the shadow steeped in the Demon King's resentment.]

It was the moment a new stage opened.

Perhaps because they'd already witnessed the goddess's image once before, the people chattered noisily, simply delighted.

But I had experienced the Tower in the past, and I knew.

“Zombie.”

'Yes.'

I nodded.

'It's all right. I won't let my guard down.'

Just as the Tower, which had been a tutorial through floor ten, had changed from floor eleven onward, floor twenty-one would present a setting entirely different from everything through floor twenty.

[You could have remained on the Tower's first floor forever.]

The goddess's image announced that fact coldly.

[This place is a refuge for those who have fled.]

[You could have abandoned the challenge and chosen to settle here.]

[But by breaking through floors ten and twenty, you have made your choice.]

Her voice rang across the vast sky.

[You have resolved to witness the end of this Tower.]

[Then it is only right to answer your resolve.]

WHOOSH!

Without warning, white light enveloped us. Not just the Witch and me. Bewildered cries came from the square as well.

“W-What is this!”

“I haven't said anything...”