Chapter 64 - The Great War Between Orthodox and Demonic Forces (3)

3

Even after the world had ended, the two martial artists had refused to stop their war.

That alone was enough to leave me dumbfounded... but something else was even more shocking.

The way they fought.

“A scholar does not quibble over his brush, nor a warrior over his blade.”

The Heavenly Demon addressed the Murim Alliance Leader. She still held a wooden stick.

“Though I am wielding the Demonic Switch because I forgot to bring my Blood-Annihilating Demonic Sword, I can easily send one old fart like you to the grave.”

“Bring it on!”

The Murim Alliance Leader brandished his switch and shouted boldly.

“Let us see which of us will be the last to unite Murim!”

And so the two warriors clashed.

Perhaps “clashed” was a bit of an overstatement.

What they put on display was nothing more or less than a scuffle.

“Heavenly Demon's Sovereign Step!”

“Hup! Golden Axe Shatters Heaven!”

The Heavenly Demon and the Murim Alliance Leader exchanged blows while shouting rather impressive names. But the names were the only impressive thing about it.

All they held were switches, and the sound of those switches striking each other was not merely lively—it was positively cheerful.

CLACK! CLACK! CLACK!

Before long, the switches broke. The Heavenly Demon and the Murim Alliance Leader glared and lunged at each other. She grabbed his beard, and he pulled at her hair.

I was speechless.

“What the hell...?”

It just kept getting better.

While the rest of us stood dumbfounded, the attendant spirit reacted differently.

“ Huh. That's strange.”

“Their stances are solid.”

'What?'

“Their forms and breathing are right. They'd be supreme masters even in my world.”

I looked at the duel again. The Murim Alliance Leader was trying to poke the Heavenly Demon in the eyes, and she was hastily covering her face with both hands.

'That?'

“Can't you see the subtleties? That eye jab embodies the principle of a divine dragon snatching an evil dragon's wish-granting pearl with its claws. You could call it Two Dragons Contesting the Pearl. And covering her face embodies the Buddha descending into this world and sheltering the face of every living being, one by one. That would be Thousand-Form Avalokiteshvara...”

The Sword Emperor's explanation went on and on.

I raised a hand to stop him.

'Then why are they fighting like that in this shitty little brawl?'

“That's why it's strange. When form has reached that level, energy should naturally follow, and intent should be abundant too. But there's no energy—no aura—in their movements at all, which is why they're doing this bullshit. They shouldn't look like that even if their dantians had been smashed to hell...”

Watching the attendant spirit repeatedly tilt his head, I thought of one possibility.

Perhaps the only possibility.

'Mr. Sword Emperor, you're just messing with me, aren't you?'

“Now, Zombie. I'm not some wicked imp. I wouldn't joke about something like this.”

Instead, the Sword Emperor scolded me.

“No, fuck, you really can't see it? Of all people, you had to do your secluded training with Hungry Ghost, who used aura alone to force out form and intent. Tsk, tsk. Well, I suppose that was exactly the training you needed at the time...”

Whatever I thought of his dismissing the years I had spent fighting the Demon King of Autumn Rain as secluded training, the Sword Emperor was serious.

And now someone else grew serious too.

“That old man and that woman... they're pretty good.”

Viper narrowed his lone eye.

“That bite just now embodied the principle of the Earth-King Serpent, and that sweep of the arm embodied the principle of the Gently Crossing Dragon.”

“Wow. He may be a ‘real one,’ but he's still a martial artist. That's right! A bite like the giant serpent known as the king of the earth, and a sweep like a dragon crossing smoothly over! See, Zombie? Unlike you, he has an eye for this.”

Without a word, I opened Viper's mental-state window.

The Heavenly Martial Sect's leader stood with his arms crossed, thinking intently.

「Analyzing them through the derived combat paths shown by my [UNRIVALED UNDER HEAVEN] skill... yes, I was right.」

「Those movements. They can be explained through [I Reincarnated as a Hellhound (Cerberus), and Guarding the Demon King's Front Gate Was Fine, but the Heads on Either Side Are Reincarnations of a Troublemaker and a Class President, So Being Stuck Between Them Is Kind of Torture]—‘hell,’ ‘king,’ and ‘between’—and [A High School Boy Who Was a Hero in an Online Game Decided to Become a True Hero with His Childhood Friend, a Younger Classmate Who Skipped a Grade and Is Also a Popular Manga Artist]—‘online,’ ‘skipped a grade,’ and ‘hero.’ Those give you Earth-King Serpent and Gently Crossing Dragon. I'm certain.」

The Sword Emperor was speechless.

Unaware of what was going on, the Apothecary tilted her head.

“I-is that so, School Master...? It just looks like children fighting...”

“Fuck. If just anyone could see it, what would separate masters from amateurs? Only people like me can see it.”

「Good lord. How many branches of derived combat paths are there? Those two are far above that old Sword Star.」

「I feel like I'll level up just watching them. Now I've got something to teach my disciples when I get back.」

Hmm.

'Mr. Sword Emperor.'

“Yes, Zombie...”

'There's that thing about all streams returning to one source, right? There are different formulas for reaching the same answer... I guess that's Viper's way of looking at martial arts.'

“Yeah. Thanks...”

Fortunately, this bizarre scene—the so-called Murim Alliance Leader and Heavenly Demon in a nasty brawl, the emperor of light novels attaining enlightenment as he watched, and, above all, me comforting the Sword Emperor—didn't last long.

“Achoo! Good grief, I'm freezing to death!”

The Medicine King suddenly shouted.

“Hey, you bastards! How long are you going to keep fighting? Can't you see us standing right in front of you? Tsk, tsk. Such narrow vision! Just like me when I was young. Exactly the same!”

The old geezer's rebuke, which had made even the Sword Star hesitate, carried unfathomable weight.

The Murim Alliance Leader scratched the back of his head, looking sheepish.

“Hmm. It's been so long since we had guests. You're right; this is hardly courteous.”

The Heavenly Demon cleared her throat as well.

“For now, I shall show you to the cave where I reside.”

4

Before long, the dark clouds cleared. I no longer needed to illuminate our surroundings with Sparkle.

The zombies exposed to the sunlight went rigid as wood and stone again, and we were able to leave the snowfield safely.

“Whew. Hoooh...”

“Hah, haaah... huuurgh...!”

There was one obstacle, though: the Heavenly Demon and the Murim Alliance Leader's poor stamina.

These weren't ordinary martial artists, but the heads of the Demonic Cult and the orthodox factions. They ought to possess the greatest martial prowess in this world. Both the Sword Emperor and the Heavenly Martial Sect's leader had vouched for their abilities, albeit by different routes.

Yet somehow... their stamina was absolute garbage.

They were panting after just a short walk through the snow.

“Hmm.”

Unable to watch any longer, I ventured a suggestion.

“If you don't mind, shall I carry you on my back?”

“I-I would appreciate it. For some reason, my internal cultivation method is proving difficult to use today.”

In the end, just as before, I carried the Heavenly Demon, and Viper took the Murim Alliance Leader.

Viper spoke solemnly.

“Death King, that isn't right.”

“What?”

“This is how it should be.”

Since I had carried the Heavenly Demon before, this time Viper carried her while I took the Murim Alliance Leader.

“This is obviously the right way.”

“Sure...”

I didn't have the energy to argue, so I went along with it.

That was when it happened.

'Huh?'

Walking with the Murim Alliance Leader on my back, I was struck by a peculiar sensation.

'That's strange.'

The attendant spirit tilted his head.

“What's strange?”

'His body's warm.'

“Huh?”

'... His body's really warm. Think how cold it is right now. Even we'd freeze if we didn't draw on our aura... but his body's warm.'

“...”

The Sword Emperor fell silent, looking thoughtful. I followed him into thought.

Was he protecting himself with aura—or internal energy—just as we were? But hadn't there been no trace of internal energy in the fight we'd just witnessed?

'What is this? Things aren't adding up.'

Something was strange.

But we crossed the snow without figuring out exactly what it was.

“This is my abode.”

The Heavenly Demon led us to a cave not far from the snowfield.

A broad opening pierced its ceiling, letting the bright sunset light pour in.

“Wow...”

The Apothecary's mouth fell open. Her eyes sparkled behind her frosted glasses.

“I-it's a hot spring!”

There was an open-air bath inside the cave.

A deep pool filled the cave floor, steam curling up from its surface. The natural hot spring overcame the bitter winter cold and warmed the surroundings to a cozy temperature. Sunset above, hot spring below—it was truly a magnificent sight.

“I discovered this secluded place long ago.”

The Heavenly Demon smiled in satisfaction.

“I never imagined I would welcome strangers from beyond the borders as guests. Wash yourselves first. This old fossil and I shall see if we can find something to serve you.”

“Huh? Have we got anything to serve besides grain-abstinence pills?”

“That's why I said we should look, old fossil. Have you gone deaf as well as old?”

“You keep calling me an old fossil, but there's hardly any age difference between you and me, you bitch!”

“If you don't like it, undergo bodily transformation yourself.”

Grumbling, the Heavenly Demon and the Murim Alliance Leader disappeared into the far side of the cave.

We remained beside the hot spring, watching them with curious looks.

“H-how strange. They were fighting to the death just a moment ago...”

“Didn't they say they've been fighting for three years? I suppose even fighting can breed affection.”

The Medicine King grumbled.

“Still, it's nice and warm around here. Bah. I've been holding another man's hand ever since we came to this world. It's been downright embarrassing. Give me some space now, Heavenly Martial Sect leader.”

“Why the hell is the Sword Star friends with a guy like this?”

“Watch your tongue! I did that Markus fellow the favor of being his friend!”

“What the... Well, the Sword Star isn't exactly normal either. Fuck. Birds of a feather.”

And so we relaxed in the open-air bath.

Once we finished bathing, the two martial artists served us food.

“Hmm. It's embarrassing that we have so little to offer.”

“Grain-abstinence pills. Eat your fill.”

What the Heavenly Demon and the Murim Alliance Leader brought out were large pellets—pills.

They looked like calming herbal pills, only a little larger.

“In the past, we could occasionally find game such as wolves, but these days even animals are rarely seen. I cannot fathom how the world came to this.”

“No, thank you for your hospitality.”

I accepted the plate politely. They said this was the third year since the world had ended. Of course there wouldn't be any proper food.

Our party cautiously nibbled at the grain-abstinence pills.

“Urgh!”

“Ugh.”

Viper and the Medicine King openly looked as though they'd bitten into shit. I nearly grimaced myself. How to describe the taste—like chewing stale, raw coffee beans? It certainly wasn't anything one could enjoy eating.

“Surely you haven't been living on nothing but these...?”

The Apothecary picked up a grain-abstinence pill and examined it from different angles, looking intrigued.

“For the most part, yes.”

“F-for how long?”

“Hmm.”

The Heavenly Demon looked at the cave wall. Countless five-stroke tally marks had been carved into it. It seemed the two had marked the passing days one stroke at a time since beginning their secluded life in this cave.

“We have survived on grain-abstinence pills alone for a little over two years.”

“Two years...”

The Apothecary was speechless. They had lived on nothing but these pellets for two whole years.

She groaned as though it defied all common sense.

“Th-that's impossible. You couldn't get proper nutrition that way. Without an appropriate balance of carbohydrates, fats, proteins, vitamins, and minerals, the human body...”

“Hmm? I don't understand what you mean, but it is still bearable.”

“Well, I can't bear it!”

The Medicine King screeched.

He sprang to his feet and began rummaging in his spatial pouch, pulling out a burner, meat, seafood, and other supplies.

“Move aside, you lot! Tsk, tsk. No wonder you haven't the strength to cross a snowfield, eating this crap. You're just like me when I was young, neglecting your health. Have you got water?”

“Ah, we melt snow to drink, or, when the sun stays out for a while, there's springwater flowing back there...”

“This is maddening. Absolutely maddening. The human body's seventy percent water. If you're drinking that shit, there's no answer for you. You need water that knows the answer. Bah.”

The Medicine King lit the burner, took out bottled water, and poured it into a pot.

Seeing the bottle, the Apothecary gasped.

“Th-that's Bling H2O! It's so expensive...”

“What's expensive about it? It's adequate for cooking, so I make do with it. Bah. I wouldn't have given this water a second glance outside the Tower. Tsk, tsk. If it weren't for that Markus bastard...”

Watching the cooking session that had begun out of nowhere, the Sword Emperor tilted his head.

“Zombie. What's Bling H2O?”

'Who knows? I guess it's something like Evian.'

“What's Evian, then? Something like Hollow-Stone Spirit Water?”

'What's Hollow-Stone Spirit Water?'

“There's this ridiculously expensive water.”

Then I supposed they were similar.