Chapter 149 - Barbarian Lord (1)

Once, Misha had told me in no uncertain terms.

["I... prefer skinny men, nyah."]

["Argh!! I mean you have no appeal as a man, nyah!!"]

She had said that when we were stranded in the Witch's Forest, mistaking my offer of a teammate contract for a confession of love.

Her words had reassured me. Didn't people say men and women could never be just friends? With her tastes so clearly defined, I figured we could spend plenty of time together and remain teammates without any awkwardness.

But...

["Hurry up and sit down. Sleeping without eating is bad for you, nyah."]

The way Misha treated me gradually changed. She went out of her way to wake me every morning, and we ate the meals she cooked herself together. She even let me have her share of the meat.

Honestly, it felt less like having a teammate and more like having a girlfriend. At first, I thought she was trying to repay me for risking my life to save her...

"... Yes. I like you. As a man, nyah."

So that really was it.

"Did you already know, nyah?"

"I wasn't certain."

To be precise, that was the excuse I'd used to turn a blind eye. She hadn't actually said anything, had she? I avoided facing the issue by telling myself I could be imagining it all.

Because once I knew, I'd only have one choice.

"I-I see, nyah..."

Watching Misha face me despite her trembling made me realize all over again what a coward I was. If I'd confronted this sooner, there might have been another way to handle it. I could have let her down indirectly, before her feelings grew strong enough for Dwalki to tell me to stop ignoring them.

Yes, surely I could have.

"So... how do you feel, nyah?"

Now there were two choices. Throw myself into the fire and feed its flames, or put it out before it grew any larger.

My answer was already decided.

"I..."

I was an evil spirit, a Player. I wasn't Bjorn Jandel, and I still hadn't given up my wish to go home.

But I couldn't tell her that. And Dwalki had said it was cowardly to expect someone's sincerity without showing them who I truly was.

So I spoke honestly.

"I think of you as a precious teammate."

Misha answered after a short pause.

"I see... So I'm not good enough, nyah?"

"It would be the same with anyone else. I have no room for that in my life. We could die at any moment, couldn't we? Besides, it hasn't even been a year since my coming-of-age ceremony."

For all sorts of reasons, survival had to come first right now. And Misha would have to keep exploring with me. If romantic feelings got involved, it would be harder to make rational decisions at a crossroads. That would put both of us in danger.

So...

"I'd like you to think of me only as a teammate, too."

Even if it was late, I faced reality and drew a line. But however much I dressed it up as being for our own good, was it selfishness at its core?

Misha firmly rejected my suggestion.

"No!"

"... What?"

"Why should I, nyah? I wasn't even planning to tell you how I felt today, you rotten barbarian! You fraud! You asked like you were going to accept my feelings, nyah!!"

Shouting in frustration, Misha drove her fist into my solar plexus.

THUD!

Cold damage chilled me all the way to my heart. Still not satisfied, she kept shouting.

"Did I ever ask you to accept my feelings, nyah? I know! I know you're not in a position to do that! But! Telling me I can't even like you is too cruel, nyah!"

THUD! THUD! THUD! THUD!

The cold damage stacked up rapidly. Just as I tried to say something, Misha let her hand rest limply against my solar plexus.

"I'm... not asking for much. I think what we have now is already more than I deserve, nyah. So can't you just not say that? Please? Why are you trying to take even that away from me, nyah..."

I could feel her trembling where she touched me. Her head was bowed, hiding her face, but it wasn't hard to imagine her expression.

I pressed my lips shut. I didn't think I had any right to comfort her, in words or actions. The silence stretched on and on until, finally, her trembling stopped.

"..."

Misha stepped back and glared at me with red, swollen eyes.

Then...

"Don't expect any food tomorrow, nyah."

She left with those venomous words. I stood rooted to the spot, watching her go.

CREAK.

As I entered the inn, the innkeeper behind the counter clicked his tongue at me.

"You were in the wrong today."

I knew that without being told.

With heavy steps, I climbed the stairs and opened my door.

Bjorn Jandel's room was as cramped as ever. For some reason, it reminded me of Lee Hansoo's empty room.

It was time to admit it.

"..."

Growing attached hadn't made me weak. I'd simply avoided growing attached because I knew I was weak.

* * *

The next morning, Misha, who'd told me not to expect food, came to wake me up.

With a healthy packed meal full of carrots.

"Chew every bite thoroughly. Understand, nyah?"

Guilty as charged, I chewed and swallowed every last bite. I ate without even remembering to breathe, so it didn't take long. Once I was done, though, Misha spoke first as I awkwardly glanced around.

"Things aren't so bad the way they are, nyah."

"But..."

"But what? You don't get a say, nyah. So don't feel pressured, either. I'm just doing what I want, nyah."

This must have been the conclusion she'd reached overnight after going home. I had no room to interfere.

Misha was more mature than I was. She was probably putting on this composed front because she didn't want our relationship to become any more uncomfortable.

Well, this ambiguous resolution probably wasn't what Dwalki had wanted.

"All right."

"Good. Then this subject is off-limits from now on. Understood, nyah?"

"Understood."

And that settled the matter. Actually, nothing had changed, so calling it settled was a stretch, but anyway.

"Go wash up. We should get going soon, nyah."

After breakfast, I washed quickly and went out with Misha. We met our companions at the appointed place, then headed to Commelby together.

The mood in the carriage was rather heavy.

"I think this is the first time we've all come here together, isn't it?"

The dwarf tried to sound cheerful, but strictly speaking, we weren't all together. Now we couldn't be, even if we wanted to.

"... Let's finish our business and head back."

Things were a little better once we reached Commelby. We had our equipment repaired and sold what needed selling. Finally, we stopped at the central administrative agency to draw up a contract transferring Dwalki's house to the dwarf.

The reason was simple. He'd offered to buy it.

"... Why go that far? I'm sure Dwalki wouldn't have wanted you to."

"Haha! I've always dreamed of owning a home. And I've just come into a tidy sum, haven't I?"

"Come on, that's enough worrying. Just take the money and sign."

We signed in front of an administrative agency employee who notarized the contract, and with that, Dwalki's house became the dwarf's.

For the record, the agency confirmed the house's appraised value at twenty-four million Stones. But we'd been told it would fetch twenty percent less at auction, so we each accepted just five million Stones.

"Then let's head back and have a drink."

Our business finished, we returned to the residential District and headed to a tavern, where we settled the final accounts. We divided all our earnings, including the magic crystals, into four shares.

There would be slight differences for each of us due to equipment repairs, consumables used in the Labyrinth, and so on, but...

'Twenty-five million Stones...'

An enormous sum had landed in my hands. Though the dwarf would only have ten million left after buying the house.

Oh, and we'd agreed that the Dragonslayer Sword and the Restrained Hope I'd used in the Labyrinth would count as mine.

"Your Vampire Essence disappeared and you gained an Ogre Essence. It must indeed have been a treasure of great importance for a man like that to search so desperately for it. But you used it to save us, didn't you?"

"We're not so shameless as to demand a share of that. And if not for you, he would have taken the Dragonslayer Sword away with him, too."

I couldn't have been more grateful. If I'd had to convert their value into money and split it four ways, going bankrupt several times over wouldn't have covered it.

"Right, then. Let's drink."

After a few more rounds, I cautiously broached the subject.

"I think it's about time we discussed the team."

There was an empty spot on the team now. But I wasn't planning to fill it. I intended to tell them that Misha and I would be leaving.

However...

"I have something to tell everyone about that."

The dwarf beat me to it.

"I'm retiring as an explorer."

"What?"

"I'm sorry to bring this up at a time like this. But I spent all of yesterday thinking it over before deciding, so I hope you'll understand."

Rotmiller questioned his announcement.

"What do you plan to do once you quit?"

"I'll open a smithy. That's why I bought his house. I felt that if I didn't do it now, I never would."

So that was why he'd offered to buy Dwalki's house. He'd planned to remodel it into a smithy.

"Becoming an explorer was more like running away from reality for me. I gave up my dream because I had no talent, because I needed money to live on right away. So I don't want to do something I'll regret. That would be an insult to him."

His firm words left none of us daring to talk him out of it. We could only wish him well.

"... I hope you achieve your dream."

"Oh, a smithy? So you're going to be a business owner now, nyah? I'll be sure to visit, nyah."

"Then whenever I need a smithy, I'll go to yours."

"Yes, you should! Truly, just thinking about it makes me happy! Hahaha!"

Once the dwarf's departure was settled, Rotmiller took over the conversation.

"Murad, don't feel too guilty. I was planning to leave the team after this expedition anyway."

"What? You? Why on earth?"

"I felt I wasn't good enough. That's all."

The short answer left the dwarf speechless. Had Rotmiller already expected that reaction? He continued without betraying any particular emotion.

"In fact, I'd already told Bjorn. Though I never imagined then that things would end like this. Now that I've come into some money, I intend to take time to improve myself."

"... With your diligence and perseverance, I believe you'll achieve your goal someday, whatever it may be."

After the dwarf's heartfelt words, both of them turned to Misha and me. They probably wanted to know what we would do.

I briefly stated my ambitions.

"The two of us will form a new team. And we'll climb even higher."

"Yes, I thought you'd say that."

"Miss Karlstein will have her work cut out for her."

"... Well, I brought it on myself, nyah. And there isn't really anything else I can do, nyah."

We all raised our glasses for a toast.

Our last drinks together as the Outcast Team.

We spent our farewell wishing one another well and offering encouragement, savoring memories along with our drinks. As always, time passed without mercy, until the dwarf and Misha were both dead drunk with their heads on the table.

"We should call it a night."

I gave Rotmiller a wry smile. We were always the two left to clean up at the end of a drinking session.

A fitting end for the Outcast Team, right to the last.

I was getting to my feet with that thought when he spoke.

"Bjorn, there's something I want to ask you."

Unlike usual, Rotmiller addressed me in a low voice, as though he'd been waiting for the other two to fall asleep.

"... Go ahead."

Under a strange sense of pressure, I stared at him. After a brief pause, he asked his question.

"Are you, by any chance, an evil spirit?"

The greatest hurdle to safely disbanding the Outcast Team still remained.