Chapter 7 - Give and Take (3)

Right now, I’m snoring. Loudly, imagining a barbarian conked out after a hard day’s work.

SNNNRRRK!

... Hmm, is that overdoing it?

Just as I start to worry, I hear a chuckle.

“... What a fascinating race.”

Looks like it worked. Though that probably has more to do with my racial advantage than my acting skills. People think barbarians are simple and stupid.

That’s why I’ve always played the part of a barbarian, even aside from the whole evil-spirit problem. It’s a kind of “hiding a dagger behind a smile.” Just as one conceals a blade within a smile, I use their assumption of my innocence as a weapon to see through their intentions.

... Okay, that sounds a bit like an edgy teenager’s fantasy.

Basically, it makes it much easier to feel people out.

Like this.

SNNNRRRRK!

I even scratch my belly and curl up on my side to make the act convincing. All the while, I listen intently, focusing every bit of my attention on the man’s movements. Now that I’ve left myself this wide open, he’ll act soon if he’s up to something.

Otherwise, I can just go to sleep.

Though honestly, I’m not sure I can sleep like this.

“Bjorn, time to switch.”

Ah, um... I didn’t think I’d actually fail to get a wink of sleep.

“Don’t let your guard down just because no goblins have shown up yet. They’re cunning little things.”

Apparently not quite trusting me, he tells me in a roundabout way to keep a proper watch, then settles down comfortably like before. In less than five minutes, he’s asleep again.

A wave of futility washes over me. I should’ve just slept too. What the hell have I been doing for the past two hours?

Damn it.

Is it because there’s someone I’ve only just met beside me? Even after deciding he was trustworthy, I couldn’t get to sleep at all. Had I known this would happen, I’d have been better off dozing on my own while keeping an eye out for goblins. At least then I could’ve gotten some sleep.

“Whew...”

I’m so tired I could fucking die. The fact that he’s sleeping makes me even drowsier.

Still, it’s my turn, so I try hard to ward off sleep by thinking about other things. Then someone calls me.

“Bjorn, wake up.”

“... I wasn’t sleeping.”

“How about wiping the drool off your mouth before saying that?”

I rub my mouth with the back of my hand, and sure enough, it’s wet.

“You weren’t even snoring. Must be because you were sleeping standing up.”

Apparently I really did fall asleep. Only briefly, with ten minutes left until the watch change, but still.

... My heart sinks.

But before I berate myself for my carelessness, there’s something I need to do. I offer a sincere apology.

“I’m sorry.”

I mean it. This isn’t me playing a barbarian. Being overnight companions is a kind of business arrangement. He kept me safe during his watch, but I failed to do the same. Of course I should apologize, if only to avoid becoming the kind of person I despise most.

“... Fortunately, nothing happened while I was sleeping, so I won’t make an issue of it.”

“Thank you. You can sleep more if you want. I’ll take another watch.”

“No, that wouldn’t be right. It’s your turn, so get some sleep. Just give me back the watch.”

He would’ve been justified in blaming me, but he forgives me with a genial smile. So I stop protesting, return to my spot, and curl up.

Sure enough, sleep won’t come.

I feel a newfound respect for him and every other explorer. Trusting someone you’ve just met with your life is an everyday occurrence for them? They must have incredible nerve. No matter how I look at it, that’s beyond me.

And so, once again, I start snoring just like before.

SNNNRRRK!

I can’t help it.

Sorry, mister, but for some reason, you’re starting to look even more suspicious.

SNNNRRRK!

His kind face, like a con artist’s. The fact that he was the one who suggested we not look for another member. The fact that he hasn’t given me any grief about my smell.

None of that really matters.

Just now, he didn’t blame me for falling asleep. He even turned down my offer to make it up to him by letting him sleep again.

Of course, maybe I’m just a crazy bastard, and he’s actually just a kind person. But kind bastards are the ones I find most suspicious.

‘They’re always the ones who stab me hardest in the back.’

The old me would definitely have let his guard down right about now. I won’t make the same mistake. That’s a question of intelligence.

SNNNRRRK!

If I’m this suspicious of him, wouldn’t I be better off calling it quits and going our separate ways?

Even as I think that, I keep snoring.

How much time passes after that?

CLICK.

A faint but out-of-place sound breaks the quiet. A backpack buckle? A belt? Or a boot heel? I haven’t the slightest idea where it came from.

But the instant I register it, my barbarian body reaches its own conclusion.

Danger.

Is this the killing intent they talk about in martial arts novels? Goose bumps prickle across my skin. I immediately open my eyes and look in front of me.

“You’re awake.”

He’s still wearing that genial smile, his two-handed hammer raised overhead, goblin blood and flesh caked all over it.

Motherf...

Dodge!

My body, raised to be a warrior, makes the call faster than I do. Before my brain can issue an order, I’m already rolling sideways across the floor.

CRAAASH!

As I hear something shatter right beside me, I use my momentum to spring up and regain my balance.

“Urk!”

He looks rattled that his supposedly sure-fire ambush has failed. Rather than ask why, I dash forward.

“W-wait!”

Is he about to make some excuse? That he didn’t mean it? That he was just stretching? If that’s really what he’s thinking, it’s a little—no, very—funny.

Fuck, just how much of a fucking pushover do people think barbarians are?

THWACK!

My shield Smash catches him square in the jaw. But a well-built human is different from a goblin. He staggers without falling.

Then one more.

THWACK!

Smash.

“Aaaargh!”

The hammer drops from his hands with a clatter. Blood pours from his nose, already red and swollen.

... Oof, that must hurt.

The thought crosses my mind, but I don’t let my guard down. I want to be the kind of bastard who doesn’t know how to do that.

So, once more—

“S-stop! I-I can expl—!”

“Smash.”

After taking repeated shield blows to the face, he finally drops to his knees and collapses.

In game terms, he’s incapacitated.

Which means we can talk now.

“Mister.”

“I-I was wrong! Please spare me!”

So he’s decided to beg forgiveness outright? Quick thinking, but I can hardly call it wise. That’s not the conversation I want right now.

“Why did you do it?”

“I-I wanted your magic crystals... I was only going to knock you out and steal them. Believe me!”

Believe him, my ass. If I had that much faith in humanity, I’d have a few more friends.

“The shield! I was going to take that shield too!”

As I slowly raise my shield, he hastily adds to his story.

This is the fundamental reason I can’t trust people. They all lie so easily, even though they can’t do a decent job of fooling anyone.

“Why the shield?”

“... Barbarian equipment is high quality. I was going to sell it back in the city.”

It’s true that most of the equipment barbarians receive during the tutorial is expensive. It contains far more steel by weight than ordinary equipment. My shield alone is a solid piece of steel.

But even so, killing someone just to get this?

Hmm. Thinking it over, it’s not entirely incomprehensible.

Still...

“Bullshit.”

He’s still hiding something.

“Tell me the truth. Why did you do it?”

I plant my foot on his upper body and press down, just as I would with a fallen goblin.

“Urgh!”

Fear etches itself deep into his eyes.

Is it because this bastard tried to kill me? I feel surprisingly little. I do get some sense of why they tell you not to look a cow in the eyes when slaughtering it...

But I can simply ignore that feeling.

Just as I’m considering ending the conversation here, he shouts.

“H-hearts!”

“Hearts?”

That’s an unexpected word. When I give him a look demanding an explanation, he continues with an air of resignation.

“... Barbarian hearts sell for a high price.”

“Why?”

“I-I don’t know the details, but they say they’re used as ingredients for newly developed magic!”

“I see.”

Now I understand his motive. To him, I was a goblin. Difficult to kill, but worth a big reward once he did.

“Why act now instead of the first time I slept?”

“... I needed to sleep too.”

Ah, I see. He figured he might as well get some sleep and make some money. I was convinced he was being cautious, but he was just an efficiency freak taken to the extreme.

“I’ve told you everything, so please forgive me...”

“Forgive you?”

Honestly, all I can do is laugh. Forgiveness? Is that really something a man who planned to take my magic crystals, my equipment, and even tear out my heart should be asking for? Had I reacted even a little slower, I wouldn’t have had the chance to beg for my life.

“Please...”

Well, of course he wants to live. How could he have known things would turn out like this? That attitude deserves some praise.

But.

“Mister, you have to pay the price, don’t you?”

More than anything, I hate bastards who do whatever they please and then dodge responsibility.

And so...

“I-I’ll give you everything! I don’t have much on me right now, but once we’re back in the city...”

I can’t trust him.

In that respect, I don’t know how he’s any different from a goblin. I couldn’t have been friends with a goblin, but at least there was a chance with this man. That’s the only difference, and it makes him all the worse.

Of course, that’s merely an emotional opinion, and I don’t make decisions based on emotion. I can’t always manage it, but at least I try.

“I’ll probably meet countless people like you from now on. They’ll all say the same thing. Am I supposed to forgive them every time?”

Forgiveness is a truly frightening word. A decision made out of kindness can come back as a dagger in your back. I know that better than anyone.

That’s why, once again, I have no choice. In this primal world, a mistake won’t just leave me with hurt feelings. It will threaten my life.

“Sorry, mister. I’ve been stabbed in the back too many times. I don’t think I can do that.”

“N-no! That won’t happen! I’m different!”

Come to think of it, a goblin once said the same thing. Granted, that was just my own interpretation of the look in its eyes, but still.

What did I do back then?

Tightening my grip, I raise the shield high in both hands. Unlike back then, though, I pause for a moment.

Of course, the hesitation doesn’t last long.

Feeling some unknown force pull at my arms,

“N-no!”

I slam the shield down with all my strength.

With the crunch of breaking bone, a heavy silence falls.

「Achievement Accomplished」

Condition: First Murder

Reward: Mental permanently increases by +1

I don’t look away from what I’ve done. I accept it for what it is.

Roughly one day after entering the world of the game, I have killed a person.

And I have acquired a large hammer, shoulder pads, leather boots, a compass, a knife, a pocket watch, a waterskin, a backpack, a blanket, medicinal herbs and bandages, one bottle of potion, six days’ worth of food and snacks, and thirty-two Grade 9 magic crystals.