Chapter 72 - Fear - 2

The next day, in Renée’s bedroom.

Hidden behind the door, Aisha watched Renée tend to Bera, her face steeped in worry.

Renée looked utterly haggard. Sleeplessness had left dark shadows beneath her eyes, and her head kept bobbing up and down.

Worried that Lady Renée might collapse at this rate, Aisha could no longer stand by and watch. She knocked on the door.

"Lady Renée...?"

"Aisha?"

SHHH...

The white divine energy flowing from Renée faded. She turned her head toward Aisha.

Aisha approached her cautiously and spoke in a voice full of concern.

"Are you okay, Lady Renée? You look really tired..."

She was suggesting that Renée should stop and rest.

Renée answered with a small smile.

"I’m fine. See? I’m still perfectly all right."

She waved her arm a little as she spoke, trying to dispel Aisha’s worries. With Bera lying unconscious like this, she could not bear the thought of sleeping comfortably herself.

Then she felt through the air until her hand found Aisha’s head. Gently stroking her hair, she continued.

"I’m all right. Why don’t you go see Mr. Dovan? He’s having a hard time, isn’t he?"

She understood that he was tormenting himself with the thought that Bera’s condition was his fault. Having Aisha, who was close to him, by his side at a time like this would offer him some comfort.

Aisha answered in a dejected voice.

"Okay..."

"Go on, then. I’ll be fine."

Aisha watched Renée smile weakly, then turned and left the room.

THUD.

As the door shut, the faint smile vanished from Renée’s face.

Her hand was already reaching toward the bed, fumbling for Bera again. Her fingertips met his with a soft tap. Their hands intertwined, and white divine energy enveloped them.

Renée bowed her head low and rested her forehead against their joined hands.

"Hah..."

A trace of relief and profound sorrow mingled in her long exhalation.

Suddenly, her fingertips began to tremble as she recalled the previous day.

There had been no relief at Bera’s return. How shocked she had been when Norn carried him back at sunset and she discovered his condition. How her heart had sunk at the chilling feel of him growing cold, gasping as though each breath might be his last.

Ever since then, her heart had refused to settle, and she had been unable to leave his side.

What if his condition worsened while she was away? What if he died in that brief interval, never to return?

Unless she held his hand like this, anxiety surged so fiercely that she could not think straight. Only by feeling the warmth of his hand and his pulse could she barely keep it at bay.

"Bera..."

She called his name, pleading for him to wake up—to open his eyes and say that damned "I’m sorry," if nothing else. But once again, there was no reply.

He needed to wake up and reassure her. They needed to hold hands and walk together again.

"Bera..."

No answer came.

Feeling how cold Bera had grown, Renée ground her teeth and began to murmur.

"... You said you’d stay by my side."

He had told her he would always be there. That he would protect her.

"You said we’d do this together."

He had promised to stay with her until she found her answer, to help her overcome her despair.

"Why..."

Why wouldn’t he wake up?

Her eyes reddened, filling with heat. A drop of that warmth fell onto Bera’s cold hand and splashed apart.

* * *

Two more days passed, and Bera was still asleep.

Renée remained seated beside the bed, treating him.

The white divine energy she had been drawing on without pause was beginning to run dry. As she felt it nearing its end, anxiety seized her.

She feared that Bera might die if she used it all up.

In truth, his body had already recovered; all that remained was for him to regain consciousness. But after driving herself relentlessly for days without sleep, Renée was no longer able to recognize that.

Despite the efforts of Norn and the others to stop her, she had stubbornly refused to relent. Now, half out of her mind, she began to tremble.

The anxiety within her swelled even further. She began to picture herself left alone in a pitch-dark world.

Her lips quivering at the thought, she fumbled for Bera’s chest and laid her hand on it.

No.

With that thought, she drew out every last bit of divine energy within her and called upon her divine powers, desperately wishing for Bera to awaken.

But...

SHHH...

Nothing changed.

"Ah, ah..."

Only then did Renée recall the fact that flashed through her mind.

The Supreme God’s divine powers could never be used for her own sake. They could not fulfill a wish rooted in her own selfish desires.

In reality, there was simply nothing left to heal. But with her judgment clouded, Renée believed the gods had abandoned her yet again, and she poured out her despair.

"No..."

Tears gathered at the corners of her eyes. She rose from her seat and moved to the bed, burying her face against Bera’s chest as she sobbed.

"No...!"

Bera could not disappear. She had to wake him.

She wrung out her divine energy once more, producing a mist so faint it could scarcely be called light, and forced it into him.

THUMP. THUMP.

With her face pressed against his chest, she could hear his faint heartbeat.

Desperately hoping it would not fade, Renée squeezed out everything she had until her strength gave out and she collapsed.

* * *

An oppressive weight.

That was the first thing Bera felt when he regained consciousness.

Slowly, he opened his eyes to see what was weighing on his chest.

'Saintess...'

It was Renée. Her face was haggard, and she lay against him as though she had collapsed onto his body.

As he examined her, the marks on her cheeks made him shudder.

Tear tracks.

There they were. Looking more closely, he saw that the skin around her eyes was red all over.

Slowly, he reached out and brushed his hand over her cheek. As he did, his thoughts continued.

'... How long has it been?'

He had certainly been at the third kingdom’s camp just before he collapsed. Yet now he was in Renée’s bedroom, looking at a Renée who had clearly been crying.

His brow furrowed slightly as he considered this. Then he gently lifted her head and sat up.

Careful not to wake her, he rose, laid her properly on the bed, and pulled the covers over her before checking his own condition.

'I’m fine.'

No, he was more than fine. He was in the best condition he had been in for some time.

His gaze turned to Renée. Judging by the circumstances, she had probably healed him.

His face darkened at the thought that he had ended up burdening her like this after all. Then he left the room to find Norn and learn exactly what had happened.

He found Norn shortly afterward at the entrance to the main house.

Seeing Bera open the front door and emerge, Norn’s face lit up, and he cried out.

"Sir Bera!"

"Shh. The Saintess is sleeping."

"Ah...!"

Bera held his index finger to his lips and spoke quietly. Norn gave a startled twitch, then nodded.

As Norn lowered his voice, Bera asked softly,

"What happened?"

He was asking about everything that had happened after he collapsed.

Norn gave a low groan, then began to explain: how he had pulled Bera from the dust where he lay unconscious and brought him here, how Renée had treated him afterward, and how the situation in the alliance had changed when the third kingdom suddenly fell silent during that time.

After hearing it all, Bera let out a brief sigh and lowered his head.

'Three days...'

Had it already been three days since he collapsed?

Realizing that the backlash from his divine powers had been far more severe than he had expected, he nodded with a regretful sigh.

"Thank you for all your trouble."

"Not at all. I’m simply relieved to see you awake."

Noticing the dark shadows beneath Norn’s eyes as he spoke, Bera bowed his head slightly.

"I’m sorry to have worried you."

"Oh, never mind me. The Saintess was far more worried."

Norn gave a faint chuckle. With his own anxiety finally beginning to ease, he added in a mildly complaining tone,

"She has been terribly distressed. She must be exhausted after spending these past few days tending to you without sleep. We suggested she rest, even just a little, but she simply wouldn’t listen..."

"... I see."

Bera looked toward the main house he had just left. His heart felt heavy. He ought to have been doing everything he could to ease her worries, yet instead he had given her reason to worry about him.

Guilt was the proper name for that feeling.

As it rose within him and his expression clouded...

"Bera!"

Renée’s cry rang out from inside the house, loud enough to tear through the air.

Bera flinched. Leaving Norn with a few words, he went back inside.

"I’ll go to her."

Every step was filled with urgency.

* * *

Lying on the bed, Renée realized that the warmth she had been holding on to was gone. She abruptly sat up and felt around her.

All her fingertips found was the rough texture of the covers.

Suddenly, her heart seemed to plummet.

Bera was gone. He had vanished during the brief moment she had lost consciousness.

"Bera?"

She swept her hands over the bed and along the wall, turning her head this way and that through empty air.

"Bera?"

He wasn’t here. Bera wasn’t here.

While she had briefly lost consciousness, he had disappeared.

"Bera..."

In her urgency, she moved too far. Her hand reached beyond the edge of the bed, and she fell to the floor.

THUD!

A loud crash sounded.

Even as the impact jolted her whole body, Renée felt along the floor again and spoke.

"Bera? Where are you?"

Her voice grew tearful. She crawled forward, but her hands still could not find him.

The anxiety that had been building all this time churned inside her again. She felt as though Bera was disappearing from her world.

Her mind reeled. Terror tore through her entire body.

Before she knew it, she screamed.

"Bera!"

She had been left alone in a world without Bera. In that utterly dark world, she could no longer take even a single proper step.

Her eyes reddened.

No. No.

She could not live without him. She could not move forward.

As her whole body trembled with that anxiety, that terror...

BANG!

She heard the door burst open.

"Saintess!"

Bera’s voice rang out.

Renée’s head shot up.

She drew in a sharp, startled breath. Her body rose of its own accord, and she staggered toward his voice.

Then she bumped into something. Something settled on her shoulder—a large hand.

She knew at once.

"Bera..."

It was his hand.

"Yes, Saintess. I’m here."

It was his voice.

At those sensations, the emotions that had consumed her a moment before vanished in an instant. All the strength drained from her body.

She began to crumple, but Bera caught her.

"What happened? Are you hurt?"

Hearing his voice, so full of concern, Renée felt the tears that had clung to the corners of her eyes stream down her face.

Her arms wrapped around his waist. She buried her face in his chest.

Only now, as relief flooded her and Bera spoke to her like this, did her sobs break free.

Meanwhile, other emotions began to rise as well.

How fickle the human heart was. The moment she recovered her reason at the knowledge that Bera was alive, all the suffering she had endured flashed through her mind.

She began to resent him for putting her through so much.

Renée clenched her teeth and spoke in a tightly suppressed voice.

"Why... why did you do that?"

Her words were full of resentment.