Chapter 89 - Over-the-Top Is the Way to Go (2)

3

As soon as I regressed a few days into the past, I announced to the hunters,

"I'll lead this stage."

"..."

The hunters were struck dumb.

The Count and Paladin were among them. Those two would have died attempting to clear the twenty-fifth floor, but I had returned to a time before they entered it.

Of course, they had no way of knowing that.

"Hmm..."

The Paladin looked troubled.

"I'm sorry, Death King. I didn't realize you knew a thing or two about romance as well."

"No, there's nothing to apologize for. I really don't know anything about romance."

"... Yet you still want to take charge of this stage? Are you serious?"

"Yes. I really want to lead it."

The hunters murmured among themselves.

I spoke calmly, determined not to lose the initiative.

"Given the genre, it would be good to pick a hunter who knows romance inside out. But that isn't an absolute requirement. I've never read a martial arts novel either, yet I still cleared Chronicles of the Heavenly Demon just fine."

"That's true, but..."

"I have a bad feeling about this stage. I think something terrible is going to happen. Please let me take charge."

Two hunters flinched at the words [bad feeling]: the Witch and the Sword Star. Both believed I had the power of prophecy.

"... Why not? Death King has proven himself time and again."

"I, too, believe we should listen to Death King."

With the second- and first-ranked hunters backing me, things became easier. The other hunters made no particular effort to oppose us. I took command, just as I wanted.

"Now, I'll choose the clearing team that will enter the apocalypse with me."

I steeled myself before continuing.

"We're taking only the very best for this stage. Please don't hold it against me if I don't pick you."

"Hmm. The very best, then."

The Witch glanced at me, her face expressionless.

"Right. I suppose I'll have to go. I don't know much about romance, but if someone absolutely needs me, then I must."

"..."

"This is my first time reading romance, admittedly. But the romantic sensibility, shall we say? It seems to suit me. I'm not claiming to be an expert in romance novels or anything. No. I just personally think that if only the very best are going, perhaps I should be included."

The woman who had introduced herself as someone who watched TV dramas was in a pretty bad way.

"Romance and romantic fantasy are somewhat different. If romance is a macaron, romantic fantasy is a chocolate mousse cake. Death King, I really do think an expert should step forward..."

The hidden master quietly exuding profound expertise was the Paladin. Unfortunately, she had failed the attempt in the previous timeline. Taking her along would be a risk.

"Can't love ultimately be converted into money? People who pay well date well, too. Love is power, and power is money. An immutable law for all eternity. I should be the one you select."

The Count opened a fan. Who the hell had assigned this person to a romance?

"Hmm."

I calmly looked around. Just then, someone caught my eye, busily sipping the orange juice a bookmark maid had served.

"Inquisitor."

I called out to him.

"Yes?"

"Let's tackle a romance together."

"Oh?"

The hunters around us stared in horror.

The Inquisitor. An iron-blooded butcher. A man who responded to every religious dispute with torture and execution, regardless of the circumstances. Even in our Tower, populated exclusively by abnormal people, he was considered crazy. A pure, natural-born psycho.

If you polled people on who was the least suited to romance in the entire world, this guy had first place in the bag. He beamed like an innocent boy.

"Yes! Understood! Aha, if it's your request, Death King, I'll gladly oblige!"

To anyone who didn't know his true nature, that smile really did look angelic.

"Death King, have you lost your mind...?"

In other words, to anyone who did know, it was nothing short of a devil's smile. The Witch hurried over and whispered in my ear.

"The Inquisitor can't empathize with other people! Objectively speaking, he's a psychopath, and even if we're generous out of personal affection, he's a sociopath. What are you going to do with a man like that in a romance apocalypse?"

"Black Dragon leader."

I whispered back.

"I may not know the first thing about romance, but I know what's most important."

"What?"

"Looks."

"... Huh?"

"Looks."

"..."

I was serious.

"Uh..."

"First, you need to be handsome."

"Isn't that a little prejudiced...? Plenty of people in romances are described as ordinary-looking."

"Then they cheat with the cover art."

"Ah, you've said the thing you're not supposed to say... You..."

"Look. Going purely by appearance, who's the most angelic-looking person in our Tower? The Inquisitor. Until I learned his true nature, I honestly thought he was an angel myself."

We stole a glance at the Inquisitor.

He was smiling brightly in the distance.

"You agree, right?"

"... Yes. His looks are devastating. The problem is that, in inverse proportion, his personality is devastating too."

"Besides, he's capable. He uses divine magic. He should be able to deal with most things that go wrong, don't you think? And he follows my instructions to the letter."

Above all, the Inquisitor was the same inside and out.

What he said aloud was exactly what he thought inside.

Complete consistency.

I figured that could be an advantage in romance, too. A person whose outward demeanor matched their inner thoughts would appeal to a lot of people.

"... That might be an unexpectedly clever plan."

Someone who had overheard our conversation spoke up.

It was the Paladin. She was slowly nodding, admiration in her eyes.

"Romantic fantasy gets more god-tier the more lunatics appear in it. By romantic-fantasy standards, the Inquisitor isn't bad. It's a shame he has no obsession with love, but there's some potential for him to develop into an unhinged male lead. I can see the entertainment value. As expected of Death King... Your uncanny intuition works even in romance..."

The library fell silent.

"Hmm? Did I say something strange?"

Again, the library remained silent.

The Witch did, however, think something.

「That makes sense, but unlike Death King, who just looks a little young, the Inquisitor really looks far too young... Even a youthful face needs to look reasonably boyish. Looking like an actual little child isn't popular in this genre...」

Fortunately—or unfortunately—that expert opinion was never voiced aloud.

Thanks to that, the Inquisitor and I successfully formed our two-person romance team.

The Librarian's eyes sparkled at the chosen team.

"Oho. You're attempting the clear with an unusual combination. Excellent! I eagerly await the story that will unfold this time."

The Librarian reached out and took [Tales of Sormwin Academy].

"The season of love is upon us! We live in an age where praising love has become only natural! Winning love across all barriers—status, bloodline, nationality—is now considered beautiful!"

The constellation's sleeves fluttered.

"Perhaps that very thing has made love more difficult. Love is not merely an emotion, but an attitude and a stance, yet so many cling to romantic ideals."

The Librarian chuckled.

"Romantic reality, or realistic romance? Gongja, you too will find striking a balance quite difficult. And so, I have prepared a special clearing perk just for you!"

A clearing perk?

"In truth, you effectively cleared not only the normal stage of [Chronicles of the Heavenly Demon], but its hidden stage as well. You received the twenty-second floor as the normal stage reward, but you have yet to receive the hidden stage reward. I shall present it to you now."

"Uh, what is it?"

"Come here, my protagonist."

I stepped closer.

"I shall give you three cards."

With a "Ta-da!" the Librarian handed me the cards.

They read as follows.

+

[Face Blindness Card]

[What a Coincidence! Overhear a Crucial Secret! Card]

[Oops! I Wasn't Supposed to Say That! An Unwitting Slip of the Tongue! Card]

+

"..."

Great.

Even the names were ominous.

I didn't know what effects the cards had, but they were incredibly suspicious.

"Excuse me. These..."

"They all work spectacularly in romances. These cards will surely be worth an army to you. So have no fear!"

Fear was all I had.

"These are not your only gifts. I have prepared one more. You will naturally encounter it once you enter the apocalypse."

"What?"

"Death King. Inquisitor."

The Librarian didn't answer my question. Instead, they opened the book. Light burst from the apocalypse's pages.

WHOOSH!

"I designate these two as characters in [Tales of Sormwin Academy]. When you open your eyes, you will be in its world seven days before Tales of Sormwin Academy meets its unfortunate discontinuation."

Light enveloped us both.

"I look forward to a magnificent ending! My lady! And her butler!"

My lady?

Butler?

Just as I was about to ask what that meant, my vision turned completely white.

4

I'd never been engrossed in romance.

Not only did I lack a reading habit, but none of my friends were into [romance]. To be a little more honest, I simply had no friends. As for how many people I could call friends even now, I'd rather remain silent.

But if you asked me which [sound effect appeared most often] in the romance genre, even a complete novice like me could answer easily.

SMACK!

That was the sound of a slap across the face.

"... You lowborn, insolent wretch!"

The shrill voice reached all the way to the chandelier overhead. Before it could even stop swaying, romance's all-time number-one sound rang out again.

SMACK!

As you could probably tell from how leisurely I was appreciating the sound effects, I wasn't the one being slapped.

"... Aha?"

It was the Inquisitor.

He tilted his head. His left cheek and his right cheek were both red, yet he smiled cheerfully at the person who had slapped him.

"Have I done something wrong? You have quite a vicious slap!"

The other person's expression grew fierce. Was she a young lady of noble birth? She wore a dress embroidered with silver-thread lilies.

For convenience, I mentally labeled her "Lady Silver Lily."

"You dare act so composed...! You lowborn thing! Have you no shame!"

"Aha."

And this was where things got ridiculous.

Lady Silver Lily wasn't the only one wearing a dress.

"If I've done something wrong, please point it out! I'll hear you out, and if your criticism is justified, I'll correct it at once! It's best to avoid violence whenever possible!"

The Inquisitor was wearing a dress, too.

It was considerably plainer than Lady Silver Lily's. The color resembled the flesh of a lime. The dress he wore combined equal parts yellow's innocence and green's refreshing brightness.

Innocence could easily turn childish. Refreshing brightness was often taken for ignorance. But none of that mattered. His face was devastating. True to my choice of a hunter based almost entirely on looks, this pure, natural-born knockout smiled radiantly.

"Now! Person whose name I don't know. Let's talk!"

SMACK!

"You truly... truly insist on mocking me to the very end..."

Lady Silver Lily seemed to wring her entire body out as she spoke. The bent curve of her spine carried straight into her voice.

She was the one doing the hitting, and the Inquisitor was the one being hit, yet for some reason, she grew increasingly short of breath.

'Hmm.'

I worked through the confusion of having just entered the apocalypse and gained some grasp of the situation.

'A social gathering? A ball? In any case, we're in the middle of an event.'

A ballroom hung with chandeliers.

Besides us, dozens of people wore dresses and formal suits. They watched from a distance with anxious faces, visibly flustered and tense.

Naturally. Their peaceful ball had turned into a scene of chaos.

'Lady Silver Lily is the [villainess]... '

I looked at her.

'The highest-ranking person here aside from the imperial family.'

She was also the person who would destroy this apocalypse's world.

"At. Tend. Me!"

Lady Silver Lily spoke as she staggered, as though chewing up each syllable between her teeth before spitting it out. Just listening to that voice hurt my lungs.

"Yes, my lady."

Servants in black tailcoats answered.

"Those things... I cannot stand the sight of them. Remove them. Quickly... Get them out of my sight!"

"Yes."

The servants' reply was by no means loud. Their voices were subdued. The subordinates adjusted their volume and pitch to suit their superior's constitution. Anyone could see that Lady Silver Lily was sickly. Loud voices were poison to her ears.

"Oh."

Which made the Inquisitor her worst possible match.

"Are you ill? This is serious! Allow me to support you!"

"Quickly... Will you not remove them at once? Lock up that mistress and servant... immediately..."

After all, the Inquisitor was a natural whose default setting was radiant and cheerful, right down to his voice.

The tailcoated servants surrounded us like a military unit.

"Pardon us."

"We must ask you to accompany us for a moment."

Their words were refined, but their actions were anything but. They dragged the two of us away by force.

Out of the ballroom, down a corridor, and into a storeroom washed in pale moonlight, we were hauled.

"Excuse me?"

I spoke while being transported to the storeroom.

For the record, I was wearing a tailcoat identical to the servants'.

"Where are you taking us? Hello?"

No answer.

"Excuse me? Servants of the ducal house?"

BANG.

"..."

"..."

The Inquisitor and I looked at each other. A moment later, a key turned with a metallic sound.

CLICK!

We had been locked inside some unknown storeroom.

Unless my common sense was wrong, a storeroom became a prison the moment its door was locked with a key.

"Aha."

Bathed in moonlight filtering through the iron bars, the Inquisitor spoke.

"Death King, we have a problem!"

He was beaming as if there were no problem at all.

"It seems I've become the young lady who's the female lead!"

Indeed.

And I was that young lady's butler.