Chapter 90 - Over-the-Top Is the Way to Go (3)

5

“What kind of insane soap opera is this...?”

I muttered to myself. This was driving me crazy.

In the old storeroom, where moonlight shone through thick iron bars, the Inquisitor beamed. His face was alarmingly sunny for someone who was effectively in prison.

“Ah, I was made to dress as a girl quite often as a child, but I never imagined I would actually be cast as a young lady. Another of life's experiences!”

“I'd love to borrow just a little of that endless positive energy of yours...”

“The world is beautiful, Death King! Think positively!”

Did this man ever stop smiling?

Even if a meteor fell right in front of him, he would probably smile and say, “Oh dear, this is a disaster! The world is ending! It can't be helped. We did our best!”

“What exactly is there to be positive about?”

“This, for instance!”

The Inquisitor moved the fingers of both hands to form a hand seal, then whispered softly.

“Divine Art: Divine Transformation.”

Light flowed between his slender fingers. This was his trademark divine magic. A transformation ought to change something... but nothing about his appearance seemed any different.

The moment he opened his lips, however, I realized what had transformed.

“... What do you think?”

For an instant, goosebumps rose on my skin.

“Do I sound a little more like a young lady now?”

“Your voice...”

“Yes! I made a slight adjustment to the structure of my vocal cords.”

The Inquisitor smiled.

“People already tell me my voice is androgynous. A little refinement should make it suitable. Aha, though I can't objectively hear my own voice! How is it?”

“That's amazing...?”

I was genuinely impressed.

“You seem like an elegant aristocrat. Uh, well. As long as you keep your mouth shut.”

“Thank you!”

“Hmm.”

I stroked my chin.

We had unexpectedly possessed the characters in the [Leading Lady & Butler] roles. But the Inquisitor and I could handle this perfectly well. He had divine magic...

And I had my regression skill.

'Okay.'

This was well worth a try.

“...”

The Inquisitor peeked up at my face.

“You look a little more at ease now.”

“Pardon?”

“You've looked gloomy ever since returning from Chronicles of the Heavenly Demon, Death King. Clearing that apocalypse must have caused you considerable stress.”

For a moment, I was at a loss for words.

“Well, you lost your beloved master, so that's only natural! That was why I had concerns about this attempt, too. I wondered whether your melancholy might prevent you from performing to your full ability, but my fears were unfounded.”

“... So you can still infer people's emotions from their expressions?”

“Yes! I don't know what melancholy feels like, but I understand it intellectually! Aha. Even machines creak when grime builds up. Stress must be the human equivalent of greasy grime. Leave it too long, and it becomes a residue that's difficult to clean, so take good care of yourself!”

How curious. Was he trying to understand humans in his own way? He was a psycho, but an admirable psycho.

“By the way, Death King.”

“Yes?”

“I've noticed something odd for a while now.”

“What is it?”

“As I understand it, we are currently imprisoned by an unjust authority. Our freedom of movement is being suppressed.”

“That's my assessment of our situation, too.”

“I'm glad our mutual understanding has improved! In situations like this, those in power usually station guards or jailers to watch the prisoners. Otherwise, they can easily attempt an escape.”

The Inquisitor tilted his head.

“Yet I sense no one outside the door, while I do sense people near the window. Hmm. Do they station their watchers around windows rather than at doors in this world?”

At that moment—

“Damn it! Attack!”

The iron bars flew off, and shadows leaped through the window.

“You can kill the man! Just don't hurt the woman!”

The shadows wore masks over their faces. Their choice of attire was a little too striking for me to consider them concerned visitors checking on us. Anyone could see this was an attack by uninvited guests.

“Sparkle!”

[“Yes, Hero.”]

I drew the holy sword.

CLANG!

My sword collided with an attacker's.

We didn't exchange the sort of dialogue that often accompanied attack scenes in movies. You know, the conversations that boiled down to “Who are you?!” and “None of your business! But we have someone incredibly powerful backing us!” We were both too busy swinging our swords.

But I had a secret trick up my sleeve.

“Now!”

The holy sword flared with light.

“Argh!”

His eyes accustomed to the darkness, the attacker squeezed them shut, if only for an instant. In an exchange of clashing swords, an instant decided the outcome.

I blinked my left and right eyes in turn to secure my vision, then sliced off his hand at the wrist.

“... Eek...!”

A scream ran through his voice like marbling.

“Death King! Don't kill them all! Keep them alive so we can identify whoever is behind this!”

I did as he asked.

The Inquisitor was doing his part as well, the hem of his dress fluttering.

“Impossible! She's n-not an ordinary girl!”

The attackers were appalled. They weren't particularly skilled. Or perhaps we were simply too skilled. Small fry who couldn't even use aura were no match for us.

In the end, all four attackers were subdued in an instant. One of them was killed by the Inquisitor during the fight.

“Hmm. Ahaha.”

The Inquisitor wiped the blood spattered on his face with his dress sleeve. The attackers stared up at him, their faces deathly pale.

“They said you were a frail noble girl... How...?”

“You have three options!”

The Inquisitor beamed, dagger in hand.

“First, you can ask me to kill you here and now, and simply die! Second, you can confess the important information piece by piece while I torture you! Third, if you freely tell me everything, you will neither die nor be tortured! Which will you choose?”

“Hah...”

The oldest-looking attacker snorted. He was also the man whose hand I had cut off.

“You're a crazy bitch. Just kill me!”

“Yes! Understood!”

“What?”

And the Inquisitor's dress grew a little redder.

THUD!

A dull sound echoed through the storeroom.

A head had fallen to the floor.

“E-eek...!”

Two attackers remained.

“Have you made your choices?”

“P-please spare us, my lady. We were only hired for a job!”

“It's a difficult world to make a living in. I understand.”

“Then...”

“But just as I understand your circumstances, you must understand my position!”

“...”

“Tell us why you attacked us. In return, I'll let you leave alive. I believe that's quite a generous concession on my part.”

The attackers hesitated.

“Ah, you seem unable to decide. Understood! I'll help you make up your minds!”

“Um. When you say help...”

“Torture.”

The Inquisitor was still beaming.

“Pain proves that a human being is alive. When pain reaches its extreme, a person's survival instinct also reaches its peak. Now, let me maximize your desire to live.”

“P-please let us live!”

“Please do live!”

Fucking hell.

At this rate, the genre was going to turn into adults-only romance, so I intervened.

“Wait a moment, Inquisitor.”

“Yes?”

“There's no need to go that far. Leave this to me.”

“Hmm...?”

The Inquisitor looked puzzled.

“Death King, are you skilled at torture as well? Unless you're quite proficient, I recommend leaving it to me. I'm an interrogation specialist.”

“No, there's no need to torture them. And wipe your face.”

I handed the Inquisitor a handkerchief and stood before the attackers.

They sighed in relief, but sorry. I wasn't all that generous toward people who attacked us first, either.

“Gentlemen. Let me ask you something.”

“W-what is it?”

“You came through the window when you attacked us. Those iron bars cut apart awfully easily. Did you hear we would be locked up here and cut them in advance?”

“...”

The attackers didn't answer. They merely exchanged wary looks. But their refusal to answer aloud didn't mean I had no way of finding out the truth.

'Character window.'

Their thoughts became visible to me.

「We were told the woman would be brought to this storeroom.」

「Damn it, they said she was an ordinary girl. We were conned!」

Just as I thought.

The attackers had already known we would be brought here.

“When you attacked, you shouted, ["You can kill the man. Just don't hurt the woman"]. Were you trying to kidnap this young lady?”

“W-well... That is...”

The attackers blinked.

「The job was to kidnap the woman from here.」

「The client warned us very firmly not to hurt her at all, though. That's why we brought four men, to be on the safe side.」

Hmm.

Right. I understood now.

“Haah...”

I sighed. When I turned around, the Inquisitor was diligently wiping his face with the handkerchief. He looked just like a baby hamster nibbling sunflower seeds.

“I think I know who's behind this.”

The Inquisitor perked up his ears.

“Oh? You really know already?”

“Yes.”

“I'd like to hear your deductions, Death King.”

His eyes sparkled.

I nodded and whispered in his ear.

“First, the culprit is someone incredibly powerful. They hired four assassins and had them infiltrate the academy. That would be impossible without knowing the academy's security system inside out.”

“Oh. A reasonable point!”

But then the Inquisitor offered an objection.

“Must the culprit necessarily be [someone incredibly powerful]? This is an academy, not a royal palace. Learning its security system seems relatively easy. Someone with a modest amount of influence could manage it!”

“That's an astute observation, but...”

I shook my head.

“There's another suspicious detail. Inquisitor, do you remember what the [villainess] shouted when she had us thrown out?”

“Hmm.”

The Inquisitor considered the question as he tucked the handkerchief into his sleeve.

“Yes, I remember. She distinctly said, ["Get them out of my sight. Lock up that mistress and servant immediately"]. Why do you ask?”

“She never said a word about where to lock us up.”

“...”

“The villainess only told them to remove us from the ballroom. But these attackers knew where we would be imprisoned and cut the bars in advance. And the people who brought us to this storeroom were the villainess's servants.”

“Oho...”

The Inquisitor's eyes narrowed into slits like tiny snakes.

“I see. The villainess may have been the one who hired the attackers. All she had to do was tell the servants in advance where to imprison us, then inform the attackers of the location. Aha. As a duke's daughter, she would certainly have power.”

“Yes. But...”

“But it's too obvious.”

The Inquisitor stroked his chin.

“Despite appearances, [I] am the protagonist of this apocalypse. A nobleman's daughter romantically involved with the crown prince. The villainess throws me out, then attacks me at the very place she sent me? Even a duke's daughter would become embroiled in an enormous scandal! It's a terrible move with too great a political cost.”

The Inquisitor really was clever.

He caught on quickly to this sort of discussion.

“In other words, the villainess isn't the culprit. The real culprit is someone who wants her to [look like the culprit].”

“Agreed!”

“And the real culprit values you—the female lead—enough to tell the attackers [not to hurt the woman under any circumstances]. They don't care at all whether I, the male butler, live or die. Finally, they're powerful enough to buy off the ducal household's servants.”

“Ahaha.”

The Inquisitor smiled, his eyes crinkling.

“I think I know who the real culprit is now, too!”

“We're probably thinking the same thing.”

“Hmm. I don't understand the feeling of love. But I do know how people in love behave! If the real culprit truly values [me], as you deduced, they would never actually entrust my safety to attackers like these.”

“Right.”

I nodded.

“They'll be waiting nearby. Ready to rush in at any moment.”

CRASH!

That was when the storeroom's old door shattered. Dust billowed up, and a group of knights poured inside.

At their head was a man who looked as though he had never gotten a speck of dust on his hands in his entire life.

“Sylvia! Are you all right, Sylvia?”

The man ran over and embraced the Inquisitor tightly. His blond hair, resembling a block of uncooked instant noodles, swayed. He wasn't as handsome as the Inquisitor, but he was good-looking too. Perhaps his appearance rated 0.6 Inquisitors?

“Good heavens. You're covered in blood! I heard you'd been thrown out of the ballroom and came looking for you out of concern... How dare anyone commit such a wicked act...!”

And his psychopath rating was probably about 0.6 Inquisitors, too.

Without blinking once, the man gave an order.

“Guards! Arrest those suspicious men at once! I shall interrogate them personally and uncover every last detail of who is behind this! I do not know which house is responsible, but even if they have rendered distinguished service to the empire, I will not forgive them!”

The knights answered in unison.

“Yes! We obey Your Imperial Highness's command!”

That's right.

“Lady Sylvia. Do not worry. I will protect you. No matter what vicious means the duke's daughter resorts to, I, the empire's sole heir, will keep you safe. You need only rely on me...”

That man was the male lead of [Tales of Sormwin Academy].

And he was the crown prince who loved the Inquisitor.