Chapter 92 - Falling (2)

2

Romantic Fantasy Rule 1

『Any man near the protagonist is suspicious until proven otherwise.』

Romantic Fantasy Rule 2

『The most ordinary man is actually the most extraordinary.』

3

"..."

My heart pounded. I was growing anxious. Like the keys of a broken piano, my heart beat out of time. That was how ominous the scent clinging to the Inquisitor's smile was.

I had a premonition that I would keep sliding straight down into a pit.

And I had no idea where its bottom lay.

"Inquis—"

"You seem unharmed, Lady Golden Silk Blossom, daughter of the baron."

Before I could finish calling out his Tower epithet, Lady Silver Lily invoked his name in this world.

She had beaten me to the name.

"I heard an assassin attacked you... You truly are a girl raised on the frontier. Your life clings on as stubbornly as a weed. Is a mere assassin nothing to you?"

"Hmm."

The Inquisitor raised the corners of his mouth.

It took me a moment to realize that it was a sneer.

Words he would never normally utter flowed from his lips.

"Did you come all this way so late at night just to compliment my health? You have my heartfelt thanks, my lady. His Highness the Crown Prince has shown me such care, as have so many others. How happy this inexperienced girl is! It almost makes tonight's misfortune feel like good fortune!"

Lady Silver Lily's eyes turned vicious.

Two barbs had jutted out of the Inquisitor's words.

'Aren't you the one who hired the assassins?'

A threat.

'His Highness the Crown Prince was so worried about me that he came in person.'

A provocation.

"... Even your mind resembles a weed. What a tangled mess. Imagination and delusion are only a step apart. Whether you tread across that boundary at whim determines your dignity as a human being. Do try to observe the manners befitting a noble."

"Oh, I apologize! So slapping someone at a ball isn't a breach of noble etiquette. Dear me, I grew up in a frontier household, so I had no idea how a ducal house conducts itself!"

"..."

"If it wouldn't be an imposition, might you invite me to your salon sometime? I would love to receive etiquette lessons from you personally. I'm not accustomed to hitting people, so I believe I need thorough instruction on the angle of the hand and the force of the blow."

His tongue had a motorcycle engine strapped to it.

I wondered where that engine noise was coming from, but when I listened more closely—what the hell? It was my heart.

It pounded and pounded.

An ominous premonition coiled around my heart, then seized my throat.

"My lady! Such insolence!"

"How dare a girl from some backwater baron's family spout such outrageous words..."

The ducal servants were incensed by the waltz of the Inquisitor's tongue. Some among them must have betrayed their mistress and been won over by the crown prince. I didn't know whether there was one traitor or several, but that wasn't what mattered right now.

"My sincerest apologies!"

I hurriedly stepped between gold and silver.

Lady Silver Lily furrowed her brow.

"You..."

"Today's alarming events have left my lady terribly shaken. In this humble servant's estimation, she is in desperate need of rest. It is late, so might you also consider retiring, my lady? Any misunderstandings can surely be cleared up tomorrow."

"..."

Lady Silver Lily pressed her lips together.

Her servants huffed behind her, but did nothing more.

When their mistress raised her right hand, every one of them stopped moving. Silence enveloped the corridor in an instant. That would have been impossible unless she habitually kept her subordinates on a tight leash.

"Wait, butler. What are you saying?"

Instead, it was the Inquisitor—Lady Golden Silk Blossom—who protested.

"I still have much to say to her. Don't end our conversation without—"

"Be quiet."

I grabbed the Inquisitor's wrist and walked away, all but dragging him along. He struggled, saying, "Oh, wait, butler! Wait a moment!" But I refused to let go. We absolutely could not let his immersion in the character deepen any further.

"My lady."

Just before leaving the corridor, I looked back. Lady Silver Lily was watching us with an unreadable expression.

"... What is it?"

"I have long admired the proper conduct of the ducal household's servants. Seeing them again tonight, I can only say that, unlike a nobody such as myself, your servants are truly restrained."

I bowed my head respectfully to her.

"I have learned a great deal. Humble though I am, please accept my respect, my lady."

"..."

"Now, if you will excuse us."

Then I pulled the Inquisitor out of the corridor.

Though he had resisted at first, he had quieted down before I knew it.

A flower garden on a spring night. A broad garden stretched between the ballroom and the dormitory.

The newly bloomed magnolias drooped their heavy heads. Fragrance hung thick beneath the white trees. A night bird, bewitched by the floral scent, tapped a flower with its claw, and a pale magnolia petal fell.

"Good heavens."

The Inquisitor stepped on the fallen magnolia.

"Ah."

He stopped and looked up at the night sky. A moment later, he turned his head toward me. His face was expressionless. Dazed.

The hunter reputed to be the maddest person in the Tower muttered as though he couldn't believe what he had done.

"Death King... What did I just say back there?"

4

As soon as I closed the door to the room, I said,

"Let's decide on a code."

We had been quiet throughout the walk to the dormitory. Not a word had passed between us. Silence wrapped around my ankles, making walking a little difficult.

Was it because my immersion in the character had deepened? The route from the garden to the room came naturally to mind.

Perhaps the character's memories grew clearer as immersion deepened. It was hard to judge whether that was good or bad right now.

"A code..."

The Inquisitor blinked.

"A secret code...?"

"If we let this continue, we'll be in real danger. We need to keep our heads straight."

"We do, Death King. You're quite right. Yes..."

He looked as though he was desperately trying to catch hold of a voice that kept slipping away. His speech was outrunning his thoughts. It was a flashing red warning that the person before me was in danger.

I firmly held his face in both hands and forced him to meet my eyes.

"When spring comes, magnolias fall."

"Pardon...?"

"When I say [When spring comes], you answer [Magnolias fall]. That's our code. A code telling us to snap out of it. Now, if you understand, say it. When spring comes?"

"Magnolias..."

"Again. When spring comes."

"Magnolias fall."

The Inquisitor's gaze gradually came back into focus. He began looking right in front of him rather than into distant space. He shook his head with a "Hmm," then nodded with a "Hmm!"

"Yes! I've come to my senses!"

"Okay. Well done."

"Thank you, Death King! Aha. Astonishing things really are coming at us like a storm today. I believe this will be a day I'll remember forever."

"Would you like some tea to calm down?"

"Please!"

Good. Not yet. It was too early to give up on this run.

I wrapped a blanket around the Inquisitor and headed to the kitchen. As befitted the dormitory of an academy attended by royalty and nobility, Lady Golden Silk Blossom's private room had a kitchen, small though it was. I easily found the tea leaves and kettle.

"Wow."

As I brewed the tea, I was dumbfounded.

"My body just moves on its own..."

I'd never properly brewed tea instead of using a teabag. Not once in my life. Yet my hands moved automatically, as though I'd been handling teapots for years. A side effect of immersion.

My body was even [enjoying] making tea.

'My lady likes her black tea best with milk and a spoonful of honey.'

I hummed to myself.

'I asked one of the academy's servants to get me some precious honey for just such an occasion. It cost a little, but she's so frugal and never wastes anything. A little indulgence like this should be fi—'

[Your immersion in the character deepens.]

[Your current immersion rate is 6%.]

It was not fine!

Not fine at all!

Fuck!

Fucking romance! Why was I getting happy at the thought of putting honey in black tea? Should I crack open my skull and smear honey on my synapses? I'll shove a beehive into my head!

[Sparkle is concerned about the Hero's condition...]

[However, Sparkle voices a minority opinion that the Hero's butler outfit is highly desirable.]

My weapon glittered merrily all by itself. Perhaps it was my imagination, but its gleam seemed even prettier. Meanwhile, its master was crouched on the floor, clutching his head in agony.

'I can't let the butler devour my mind.'

I clenched my teeth.

'Absolutely not. After everything I went through to clear those stages!'

Stubborn defiance welled up in me.

I resolved that even if I made tea, I wouldn't make it like the original character. I used a kettle he didn't normally use and took out cups he didn't normally use. Then I served the Inquisitor his tea.

"Death King."

After a few sips, the Inquisitor tilted his head.

"Yes?"

"This tea tastes strange!"

"And?"

"Unless my sense of taste has dulled, this saaalty flavor is salt?"

"That's how this tea is supposed to taste."

"Oh? This substance that is closer to salt water than tea? If its salinity were objectively measured, I believe it would be classified as plain salt water, nothing more and nothing less."

"Just shut up and drink it."

"Understood! I'll shut up and enjoy it!"

The Inquisitor slurped his tea.

"Thank you for the tea! It's salty!"

He beamed. Yes, that was more like it. Our natural-born psycho had finally regained his former innocence.

"Now then, what do you intend to do from here?"

"We need to get the villainess together with the crown prince."

I sighed.

"Or at least smash Lady Golden Silk Blossom and the crown prince's romance to pieces. Let's aim for one of those two endings."

"Operation Crunch-Crunch...?"

The Inquisitor chose the operation's name all on his own.

Well, it didn't matter. I preferred the latter of the two endings myself.

I'd never been in a relationship, so I didn't really know, but...

'Wouldn't breaking people up be much easier than getting them together?'

Getting the crown prince together with Lady Silver Lily would be difficult, but making him break up with Lady Golden Silk Blossom should be easy.

On that point, the Inquisitor and I agreed one hundred percent.

"For that to happen, the crown prince's love for Lady Golden Silk Blossom must cool! Have you thought of a clever plan?"

"I have."

I'd realized it earlier, when I nearly lost my mind while brewing tea. This stage called for drastic measures.

'There is a way.'

A method that would not only lower the crown prince's affection for Lady Golden Silk Blossom, but also be extraordinarily effective at keeping both of us—especially me—in our right minds.

"What is this clever plan?"

"Ultimately, the more you act [like Lady Golden Silk Blossom], and the more I slip into a [butler-like] attitude, the higher our immersion rates get."

Turn that around.

"So what if we do [things Lady Golden Silk Blossom would never do] and [things the butler would never do]?"

"..."

"Our immersion rates might drop. Even if they don't, they shouldn't rise any further. What do you think?"

The Inquisitor's eyes lit up.

"... Oh, I see. A simple yet excellent method. Just what I'd expect from you, Death King! A hunter who conquered the impregnable tenth floor and cleared all the way to the twentieth with unstoppable momentum!"

"I appreciate the praise. Um, anyway, our conclusion is simple."

I snapped my fingers and activated a skill.

"From now on, let's become a [delinquent young lady] and a [delinquent butler]."

The Inquisitor tilted his head.

"Pardon?"

Then Rebirth of a Hundred Ghosts unfolded. There was no need to summon a host of hundred ghosts as I had in Chronicles of the Heavenly Demon. There was only one ghost that we—that I—desperately needed right now.

My shadow writhed and transformed into a single ghost.

"..."

A ponytail tied back.

Eyes more obnoxious than those of any living creature in the universe.

"Hey..."

It was the Flame Emperor, Yoo Suha.

The moment I summoned him, his face twisted into a hideous scowl. His expression crumpled like a wad of tissue, and his mouth opened.

"Fuck, you bastard. What bullshit are you going to make me do this time—"

"Now, let's zip those lips. Zip."

"—. ... Mmph, mmmph! Mmmmmph!"

However foul his language, he was one of my hundred ghosts and could not defy my orders. Yoo Suha could only keep wriggling like a caterpillar wrapped in spiderwebs.

Seeing the Flame Emperor greatly improved my gloomy mood. How should I put it? Like closing the lid on a trash can? It felt as though the fine dust in my heart had been swept clean. The Flame Emperor. A man like a vacuum cleaner's dust container.

"Inquisitor."

"Yes, Death King!"

"Just looking at you, you're far too much of a model student."

I adopted a solemn expression.

"Your gestures, your mannerisms—everything about you is innocent. But if you're going to seriously change classes to delinquent young lady, your current state won't cut it. You're nowhere near ready."

"Oh."

The Inquisitor pricked up his ears.

"If I have any shortcomings, please teach me! I'll learn!"

"Yes, I'll teach you. With one-on-one intensive tutoring."

I slowly turned my eyes toward Yoo Suha.

"The finest tutor will guide you down the path of delinquency."

"Aha, I look forward to it!"

"Mmph... Mmph! Mmmph, mmmph!"

The Inquisitor smiled brightly like a puppy. Yoo Suha screwed up his face like a dog. Between the puppy and the son of a bitch, I nodded gravely.

"Now, let's get delinquent."

The next day, Sormwin Academy exploded.