Chapter 99 - Your Heart (3)

3

Woof.

"Zombie. Hey, Kim Zombie."

There is a Korean sound, [meong]. It can mean a dog's bark, or describe a mind gone blank.

Woof.

"Mr. Kim Zombie? Mr. Kim Crow-Tit? Mr. Young Cult Leader? Hello, good sir Death King. Can't you hear me?"

My mind was blank. There was no telling me apart from that woof. I was a woof-woof, and the dog was me.

Only one scene came to mind.

A red carpet. Red eyes. A blue fragrance. A voice. A touch.

"Th-this bastard. He's been hit. Hit hard. That look in his eyes. It's exactly the same as that Zhuge Clan bastard's when he fell for the Ice Palace Mistress."

What was love...?

Gongja says: love was a lily.

My dear Lady Silver Lily...

"I'm sorry, Zombie. This is all my fault. She's in a different league. A completely different league. Thanks to me, you're about to fall in love with someone way out of yours."

I stared blankly at my attendant spirit, who was picking his nose. How should I put it? It was arguably the worst possible pose a person could adopt while apologizing.

Oh, right. This fellow wasn't a person. He was a ghost...

"But honestly, this is fucking hilarious. Keep going. Give me more."

I murmured dazedly to myself.

'Suicide...'

"Huh?"

'If I kill myself, I can experience what just happened all over again, right...?'

"You crazy bastard... At least you've still got enough sense not to say anything about suicide regression out loud. That's something. All of this is being broadcast inside the Tower..."

"Suicide..."

"Look how fast that sense went flying out the window! You insane bastard! Hey! Sparkle!"

[Sparkle leaps up and smacks the hero upside the head.]

"Aaaaagh!"

Clutching my head, I rolled across the garden lawn.

"I know I'm not in my right mind! But, but her face keeps coming to mind! What am I supposed to do?"

"Already your 'dear' lady, is she? That's one round of bullshit loaded..."

"Oh, I absolutely can't wash my face today. Even if I do, I mustn't wash behind my ear. Doesn't it still smell a little like lilies? Would you like to sniff behind my ear?"

"Two rounds..."

"How many times did that limp noodle of a crown prince save the world in his past life to deserve her love? Ah, damn it. The internet. I need the internet. The internet and a computer. I need to hurry up and comment 'I want to be like the crown prince too' on every post I see..."

"Three rounds. Fuck me..."

"Ah, love! Sweet poison! Irresistible addiction! O my heart!"

"I knew it. I knew this bastard would become the most insufferable little shit in the universe once he fell in love. I'm a real bastard for giving him advice even though I knew."

"It's not just me!"

[Your immersion in the character deepens.]

[Your current immersion rate is 21%.]

"Look! The original butler of this body keeps getting more immersed too. That means the butler and I are feeling the same thing. What do you think that means? He's fallen for Lady Silver Lily too!"

"Huh. Didn't that butler originally like Golden Silk Blossom, or whatever, Golden Hawk?"

"Ha, you don't understand a thing. Do you have to focus on just one person in love? That's not what love is, you know? Love, what love means is... Love is, well... love."

"Wow. It hasn't even been half a day since this guy fell in love for the first time. Wow..."

I lay spread-eagled on the grass. Broad daylight. Classes were in session at the academy. The Inquisitor, the crown prince, and Lady Silver Lily were all in class right now.

"How can I save Lady Silver Lily? No, save her? Who am I to say that? Just... what can I do to make her happy?"

"As the man responsible for unleashing your bullshit on the world, let me offer some responsible advice."

My attendant spirit groaned.

"It isn't time to think about that yet, little one."

"Then what is it time to think about, big one?"

"You need to get to know her better."

"Get to know her."

"Yeah. When you're courting someone, it's important to keep showing your face. That can get awkward when you're strangers. But you're her personal servant right now. You get time together without even doing anything. You've got the advantage of proximity."

"The advantage of proximity..."

"Right. So relax and observe her a little more."

"But..."

"But?"

"This world is going to end soon."

"Hmm."

My attendant spirit folded his arms.

"That really is a problem."

There was something odd about his tone. It was as though the 'problem' I had mentioned wasn't the same 'problem' he meant.

But just then, the bell rang to announce the end of class, so I didn't get to ask him about that odd tone.

The nature of the problem came to light that very night.

4

Clouds had swallowed the moon, leaving the night utterly dark.

The candles lit in the residence struggled to lift the darkness, but they were clearly no match for it. Sormwin Academy was sinking into the dark.

"You may consider this a reward for the admirable thing you showed me."

Amid that darkness, Lady Silver Lily herself carried a lamp and led the way.

I followed alone, taking care not to step on her shadow.

"I shall tell you my secret."

"..."

Lady Silver Lily was wearing a nightdress. The white dress hung loosely on her. Did my heart leap with every flutter of its hem because, as my attendant spirit put it, my bullshit was locked and loaded? But wasn't this feeling far too warm and comforting to be called bullshit?

"Follow me."

Lady Silver Lily walked on. The corridor was deserted at night. As I followed, I stared at her fingers in the lamplight.

"What are you thinking about right now?"

She spoke to me without warning.

"Pardon?"

"I asked what you are thinking about. I can feel your gaze. I am curious."

"..."

"Temporary though the arrangement may be, you are my personal servant. What could refusing your mistress's question be but disloyalty? I have told you I am curious, so you ought to answer."

I hesitated.

"Well..."

"Speak."

"... I was thinking that I wanted to hold your hand, my lady."

As soon as I said it, it felt as though my heart had leaped out of my mouth instead of my tongue moving. The emotion was embarrassment.

I hadn't been this embarrassed even when Sparkle sang that hymn of praise to Gongja. Seriously. My face burned so much I thought I would die.

"Hmm."

At that very moment, something wrapped around my left hand.

It was Lady Silver Lily's hand.

Skin. Touch. A cool temperature. The moment her slender fingers interlaced with mine, I almost imagined that she held my heart in her grasp. Floral fragrance filled my head.

All she had done was hold my hand.

"M-my lady."

"Have you thought only of me all day today?"

My tongue went bone-dry.

"Did you yearn for my touch and fragrance? Did you imagine them?"

"Well..."

"Answer me. If you are not honest, I shall let go of your hand."

"I-I thought about you."

"Properly."

My head spun.

"I thought only of you all day today, my lady."

The floral fragrance became a voice whispering in my ear.

"Well said. You are my faithful retainer."

[Your immersion in the character deepens.]

[Your current immersion rate is 29%.]

Now.

I couldn't tell what was what anymore.

I just didn't know.

"Y-you mustn't do this."

"What mustn't I do?"

Think.

Let's think.

"I'm from outside this world... I'm only borrowing the butler's body..."

"And?"

[The Silver-Plated Heart looks at you.]

"Did you not say you saw me as a 'human being'?"

"I..."

"Was that a lie?"

[The Silver-Plated Heart looks at you.]

"In the end, do you too regard me as a mere 'native' or 'local,' like the other apostles? No, to use the terminology of Hamustra, who sent you here, do you regard me as a 'character'?"

[The Silver-Plated Heart looks at you...]

"I..."

I barely managed to speak.

"I... No, forgive me. What I mean is, my original mistress is Lady Golden Silk Blossom."

[Your immersion in the character deepens.]

[Your current immersion rate is 30%.]

"I only agreed to attend you temporarily for a mission, Lady Silver Lily, so..."

"That is another strange thing to say."

Lady Silver Lily looked at me.

"You said you thought only of me all day today. Does that not also mean you did not think of Golden Silk Blossom?"

"That's..."

"Was that a lie?"

[The Silver-Plated Heart...]

"No. It wasn't a lie. I..."

My head.

My breath.

"Then is your mistress not already me, rather than Golden Silk Blossom?"

"That's..."

"Call me your mistress."

Her interlaced fingers tightened a little.

"Just once will suffice. Say it sincerely."

"..."

"If you utter the words 'my mistress,' I shall reward you."

A reward.

"I promise you a sweet reward."

Why was it that the moment I heard those words, my heart was steeped in sweetness?

I was just about to open my mouth without thinking.

"Gongja."

A quiet call.

[Sparkle trembles, bringing the hero back to his senses.]

A constellation's warning.

Their reactions, the languid intoxication I was feeling—all of it felt familiar.

The same sensation I had felt watching Lady Silver Lily interrogate the servants in the basement.

The instinct that this was dangerous.

"Hmm?"

Lady Silver Lily turned to look at me. Red eyes watched me from her still-expressionless face.

"What is the matter?"

A whisper.

"Do you not want a reward?"

A reward.

"Just once is enough."

Just once...

If it was only once. Wouldn't it be all right to try it once?

It did feel dangerous. But still. Even if something went wrong, I had the power to turn back time. Yes... I had that power. So I had enough power to take a risk once. No, thinking about it, calling it a risk wasn't even right. Wasn't it necessary, if only to obtain information about 'what will happen if I say these words'? After all, when a Traitor had appeared among the rankers, and I had faced the Demon King of Autumn Rain for the first time—couldn't I find similarities between that situation and this one if I looked at them the right way? So wouldn't it be all right? Just to say a few words. If it went wrong, I could simply turn back time once. That would be the end of it. I had that ability.

Then just once, really just once, even if I said those words...

「But you know I'm the Flame Emperor, buddy.」

「Then you'll have to fucking die.」

The back of my neck went cold.

「Death King.」

「I believe in you.」

My fingertips froze.

「My lord.」

My head.

「My disciple.」

I snapped back to my senses.

My vision cleared. My mind sharpened. My thoughts raced, as if making up for all the time they had been at a standstill.

Was I someone who could submit so lightly?

Was the weight on my shoulders that slight?

No.

I was Hungry Ghost's lord.

And the Young Cult Leader of the Demonic Cult.

I had lived to avoid becoming like Yoo Suha.

That was why I had fled through the snow with the Alchemy Ministry Head, refusing to take even a single death for granted.

"... I'm sorry, my lady."

I laid my palm over the back of Lady Silver Lily's hand. Even if they were only words.

All the more because they were only words.

"What are you apologizing for?"

"I cannot acknowledge you as my true mistress."

I wanted to learn the joy of love. I was learning it. But even so, I had no intention of learning it at the cost of losing [myself].

At the very least, I could not enter into a one-sided relationship with someone.

"If you truly want to win my heart, my lady, you will have to use another method."

"Tell me. I shall listen."

"I will serve you as my mistress, so make me your master too."

"..."

"I'll value your judgment above my own. I'll give your advice more weight than my beliefs. I won't put myself first. I'll follow you. But in return..."

I looked at Lady Silver Lily's face. With our hands joined, we stood very close to each other. Red eyes. I knew they were the very color of a heart.

"Treat me the same way."

"..."

"When you do something wrong, I'll tell you it's wrong. Everything I truly think, see, and feel—I'll confess it all to you, without a single lie. But our relationship cannot be one-sided. If I give you my heart, what will I breathe with? One day, I'll suffocate and die. Only if you give me your heart can I keep living."

I held Lady Silver Lily's hand a little tighter.

"If you want to see me go mad, then go mad for me too."

And Lady Silver Lily shook off my hand. She took two steps backward, like someone struck by an unexpected blow.

"... I see."

But her expressionless composure had yet to crumble.

"You are different from those other fool apostles. I thought you an utterly innocent child... Yet being unfamiliar with love need not mean being unfamiliar with life. I was too hasty."

"You were trying to seduce me into becoming your subordinate, weren't you?"

"My mistake. I underestimated you."

Lady Silver Lily bit her lip for a moment. Even that expression was so beautiful it was chilling. In the nighttime corridor, even the white moonlight became shadow when it fell upon her.

"Yes. I'm not an easy man, you know."

"What a pity. You could have given me everything and been at ease."

"You said understanding and responsibility were no different. One-sided responsibility would be nothing more than one-sided understanding. That isn't what I came to you for."

My heart pounded, but I restrained myself.

"So what is the secret you were going to tell me?"

"..."

Lady Silver Lily turned her back and walked away.

"... My family has an heirloom passed down since ancient times. A sword with an absurd little legend attached. Supposedly, if you make a wish, it will unfailingly grant it."

At the end of the corridor.

There, where even moonlight no longer reached, lay a bundle of curtains. Thick red curtains. They had been draped over something as if to hide it.

"There is a condition, however."

Lady Silver Lily's fingertips caught the edge of a curtain. She swept it aside, revealing a full-length mirror of the sort one might find in a dressing room.

And.

"When you make your wish, you must stab your own heart with the blade."

A sword was embedded in the center of the mirror.

Lady Silver Lily stood before the mirror.

By coincidence, the blade was embedded precisely where her heart appeared.

[Sparkle detects the presence of a sister.]

The holy sword at my waist trembled.

[Sparkle says that it is the Holy Guardian Sword's third sister sword,]

DRIP. DRIP.

Blood flowed drop by drop from the mirror pierced by the sword. The curtains concealing the mirror had not originally been red. Blood flowing from the mirror's heart had stained them that color.

[the sword Prayer.]

"This was before I became a regressor. His Highness the Crown Prince had become united with Lady Golden Silk Blossom. I was so bitter, so terribly bitter, that I turned to my family's sword and made a wish."

"What wish...?"

Lady Silver Lily's lips moved.

["Please let my love last forever."]

"And so my life became eternal."

"..."

"Even when I die, I do not die. My feelings for His Highness remain unchanged. My heart has been fixed in place ever since that day."

Lady Silver Lily took my hand.

She took it and guided it to her chest.

Where her heart was. Where it should have been.

"Did you say you wanted my heart?"

But.

I could feel no heartbeat there.

"I am sorry," Lady Silver Lily said.

"I have no heart to give you."

[The Silver-Plated Heart looks at you.]

Then the blood running down from the mirror pooled and began to form a small shape.

Though it was a different size, it was the being that had killed the Paladin and the Count in the previous iteration.

The shape of a demon.

I didn't know why blood flowing from the mirror formed such a thing, or whether it had been summoned or created.

"Now."

But Lady Silver Lily raised a sword with a practiced air.

"Help me."

The sword was pointed at the little demon.

"It is time to finish today's work."